What would you do if you found out your partner wants someone else? Imagine discovering that the person you thought you knew inside and out has been hiding a dark secret. The person you trusted completely is living a lie so convincing that when the truth finally comes out, it hits harder than a ton of bricks.
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Secrets have a way of showing up at the worst possible moments, and when they do, they can turn your entire world upside down. This is one Redditor’s story, who shared how she found out her boyfriend of 8 years still lusts after his high school crush.
More info: Reddit
Woman throws a surprise birthday party for her boyfriend, overhears him confess to his best friend that he finds his girlfriend disgusting and he wants to be with another woman
Image credits: Himanshu Choudhary (not the actual photo)
The woman met her boyfriend of 8 years through mutual friends, when he was in love with someone else
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
The boyfriend has never had a surprise party for his birthday but really wants one, so the woman organizes one, inviting close friends and family
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/ThrowRA1882938
“He felt disgusted every time he had to kiss me”: the woman overhears her boyfriend’s confessions to his best friend, saying he wishes he was with the other woman
Zoe, (not her real name but let’s roll with it), a 25-year-old woman, had been dating her boyfriend, (let’s call him Mike), for 8 years. They met through mutual friends, became buddies, and finally started dating after two years of friendship. It sounds like the perfect rom-com, right? Spoiler alert: it’s not.
Before Zoe came into the picture, Mike was head over heels for a mutual friend. When she started dating someone else, he shifted gears and moved on to Zoe. Little did she know that Mike never really got over his high school crush, but she was about to find out.
Mike’s birthday was coming up, and he’d dropped enough hints to make it clear he wanted a surprise party, as he’d never had one before. Zoe, being the awesome girlfriend she was, decided to throw him the best bash ever. She went all out with the party planning, booked a venue, got a cake, invited friends and family, and even enlisted Mike’s best friend to keep him distracted while she set everything up.
The party was a huge hit. If there was a gold medal for effort, Zoe would have snatched it. All their friends and family had fun and Mike soaked up the spotlight for the first time ever. But then, things got messy as Zoe overheard a conversation between Mike and his best friend. And what she heard felt like a huge punch in the gut, which broke her heart.
Mike was whining about how he wished he’d ended up with his high school crush, not Zoe. He called her “the most gorgeous girl he’d ever seen” and lamented about not fighting harder for her. But wait, it gets worse. Mike confessed he hated waking up next to Zoe, felt gross kissing her, and only stuck around because he felt “trapped.” And let’s not forget, he was dreading the idea of marrying her. If this isn’t the definition of heartbreak, what is?
But Zoe, being the queen she is, didn’t want to ruin the party. She plastered on a smile and powered through the night. When Mike came back from his secret chat, blissfully unaware she’d overheard everything, he was all hugs and kisses. Talk about a knife in the back.
After the party, Zoe was heartbroken and confused, struggling with deciding between trying to win Mike back and just cutting her losses. She was asking herself whether it was worth fighting for someone who doesn’t appreciate her. She didn’t want to break up with Mike, but she did want to make him fall in love with her again. “How do I make my boyfriend fall in love with me or should I just give up on our relationship?” Zoe asked the internet.
Image credits: katemangostar (not the actual photo)
According to experts, the giddy feeling we have when we start dating someone new diminishes with time, making way for love. While bringing back the spark in a relationship is not always possible, sometimes, infusing the relationship with passion can be done, but it depends on the circumstances that led to that situation.
To find out more about this topic, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist and author of Am I Lying to Myself?: How To Overcome Denial and See the Truth. She told us that when a partner seems to neglect your needs and pays less attention to you, it might indicate they feel unfulfilled in the relationship. Also, if they become emotionally or physically distant, it can be a clue that they feel stuck.
To address this, initiate a calm, open dialogue. "’You seem preoccupied lately. Are you upset with me or is there something on your mind?’ can help start the conversation. Encourage your partner to share their feelings by asking open-ended questions, and create a safe space for discussing any bothersome behaviors,” Greer explains.
When asked if someone can make their partner fall in love with them all over again, Dr. Greer explained that it is possible for someone to reignite love in a long-term relationship after the "honeymoon" phase by revisiting what initially brought them together and sharing fond memories.
“Scheduling regular date nights, wearing clothes that make you feel your best, and stepping out of routine can renew the energy in the relationship. Taking time to dress up, make reservations, and put effort into planning special moments, just as you did in the beginning, can help re-energize your connection and deepen your bond,” Greer explains.
We asked Dr. Greer how someone can rebuild trust and intimacy in a romantic relationship after discovering they are not their partner's first choice. She told us that acknowledging and processing your feelings and having an open, honest conversation with your partner about your emotions without assigning blame is the best way to start.
Rebuilding trust requires consistent actions and “both partners need to be committed to the process by asking if they are willing to put in the effort to rebuild trust together. If needed, consider seeking the assistance of a relationship counselor for guidance and strategies to navigate this period and facilitate healing,” Greer advised.
Do you think Zoe should try and give their relationship another chance? Or, should she just move on and find someone else, someone who could truly appreciate her? What’s your take on this story? Share your comments below.
Netizens urge the woman to leave her boyfriend as he is not in love with her, and find someone who can truly appreciate and love her
