There’s really two options when it comes to giving presents. Either the gifter sticks to the script and chooses to buy something from the person's wishlist or they think of something extra special and surprises them. The latter, however, can be a bit more tricky, as the room for error expands and not everyone finds getting caught off guard enjoyable.
When this guy decided to surprise his girlfriend, someone who doesn’t like grand gestures and the unexpected, he made a huge mistake. Once he finally revealed his plans, she became very upset and even accused him of ruining Christmas.
Surprising loved ones with gifts can be a great way to express love and appreciation for them
Image credits: Sandra Seitamaa / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
However, this woman didn't like when her boyfriend surprised her and even accused him of ruining Christmas
Image credits: Jason Hawke 🇨🇦 / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Nicole Geri / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Daniel Martinez / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Feeling-Care-2877
“Choosing the wrong gift can be kind of risky for relationships"
A 2022 study found that over 40% of Americans would be the most disappointed to receive a holiday gift they didn’t want from their partner. This number is quite high compared to other gift givers like colleagues or friends.
In fact, research shows that a bad gift exchange between couples can hurt their relationship. “Choosing the wrong gift can be kind of risky for relationships because it says you don’t have anything in common,” says psychology professor Elizabeth Dunn. She has also found that unwanted gifts can seed doubts about the relationship’s future in the receiver's mind.
If bad gifting becomes a continuous occurrence, resentment, anxiety, and questioning can start building for both partners. “If the recipient needs objects as symbols for the depth of their partner’s love, then disappointment will grow if they are with a bad gifter,” explains relationship expert Neil Wilkie.
Bad gifters can improve with a few tips and guidance
Image credits: Kira auf der Heide / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The good news is that bad gifters can improve with a few tips and guidance. The most obvious or simple way to nail a present for a loved one is to ask what they want. Researchers have even proved that people appreciate the gifts they ask for more compared to the ones they don’t “People want to be creative and surprise the recipient,” notes Dunn, “but the better gift will be whatever it is they say they want.”
Unfortunately, the question ‘What do you want for gifts this year?’ has been seen as taboo between people, but if it weren't, everyone would be better off receiving what they truly want. Besides, recipients wouldn’t need to worry about returning the unwanted presents, feeling disappointed, or trying to pretend they like it. It also saves gifts from entering the landfill as a present that person wished for will be loved and used.
If, for some reason, this option isn’t on the table, it’s advisable to buy presents based on shared interests. “People are better at choosing something for themselves,” she says, “so if you have something in common with somebody, get something that shares the same affinity, because something you would like will more likely be something they like.”
Or just try to avoid purchasing items from the most hated present list. Such as bad romance novels, diet plans, cleaning products, aftershave, boxers, dressing gown and apron. Some other unhonorable mentions include mousepads, scarves, gym memberships, mugs and iron.
The last piece of advice is not to overthink it, as having anxiety around gift giving can make it that much more stressful and hinder the ability to pick out a good present. Bad gifts are rare and chances are the person will still appreciate it even if it wasn’t their most desirable one.
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Most readers suggested returning the gifts she bought for his partner
