We might think we all know who our partners really are. However, they might be hiding certain aspects of their character or some of their values to fit in. It can come as quite a shock to find out the truth about where they really stand by accident.
One anonymous woman recently turned to the r/AITAH subreddit for advice after sharing how she broke up with her boyfriend. The author of the post said she discovered that he was an active user of sexist and incel (involuntarily celibate) internet forums. Scroll down for the full story and the internet’s reactions.
Accidentally stumbling across your partner's browsing history can come as quite a shock
Image credits: ArtHouse Studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One woman shared how she became disillusioned with her boyfriend after reading the types of things he wrote online
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Reddit user
Many involuntarily celibate men, aka incels, tend to blame women and society for their lack of romantic success
Image credits: Austin Guevara / Pexels (not the actual photo)
According to the anonymous woman, after snooping around her boyfriend’s computer and online profiles, she felt disgusted by his views and dumped him without a single word.
“I didn’t want to confront him in person, so I just gathered my things and left,” she wrote.
Unfortunately, the OP deleted her account on Reddit, so we were unable to reach out to her for further comment. However, her story still went viral.
Most of the members of the r/AITAH online community thought that the OP did nothing wrong by breaking up with her boyfriend and expressed their hope that she was safe and sound.
Meanwhile, some others pointed out that one of the most frightening things was that the guy she was dating tried to hide who he was as a person and what his beliefs were.
The term ‘incels’ usually refers to ‘involuntarily celibate’ straight men. They often have misogynistic points of view. The Anti-Defamation League claims that incels “blame women and society for their lack of romantic success.”
Incels tend to struggle with victimhood and poor mental health
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The media often describes incels as violent male supremacists or extremists. However, this is a very black-and-white point of view. In reality, incel culture is slightly more nuanced and may have to do more with social isolation and mental health issues than sexism and violence.
As psychological scientist Craig Harper, Ph.D., explains, incels often display signs of victimhood and inferiority. Very often, they have poor mental health and feel lonely and isolated rather than being the “aggressive and overtly hostile provocateurs that they are characterized as being online.”
Referring to data collected by William Costello, Ph.D., Harper notes that incels tend to have a higher tendency for interpersonal victimhood. They have a strong need for recognition and strive to be noticed and appreciated. Not only that, but they also have a strong sense of moral elitism, where they see themselves as more righteous than other people.
Moreover, incels also generally lack empathy and have a tendency to ruminate and get stuck in negative thought patterns.
According to Costello’s research, over 70% of incels had moderate or severe depression, compared to one-third of non-incels. Meanwhile, slightly less than 70% of incels were moderately or severely anxious, compared to 40% of non-incels.
The effects of social isolation are devastating. They can take a heavy toll not just on a person’s mental health but also on their physical health.
The CDC warns that social isolation increases a person’s risk of dementia by 50%, heart disease by 29%, and stroke by 32%. It also increases the risk of type 2 diabetes, depression, anxiety, addiction, and self-harm.
Here's what the online community had to say after reading through the anonymous woman's post
