We hear that every relationship is different, but the situation Reddit user Electrical_Ad3805 has found herself in is so atypical that she thought the only way to make sense of it was to ask the internet to do it for her.
After meeting a man at an adult club, the woman quickly formed a deep connection with him, and everything seemed wonderful—until she discovered he’s still entangled with a pregnant ex.
The ongoing drama has made it pretty much impossible for them to make any serious plans, so the woman is left questioning whether to wait for the chaos to pass or walk away entirely.
This woman would love to see what the future holds for her and her boyfriend
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle (not the actual photo)
But he is still very much involved with his ex
After her story went viral, the woman clarified a few important details
Image credits: Shalia Story (not the actual photo)
Image source: Electrical_Ad3805
Most people aren’t going no-contact with an ex after a breakup
We associate breakups with no second thoughts, no leftover feelings, no contact with an ex. But a new study suggests that leaving the past behind isn’t so easy.
According to a survey from The Matchmaking Company, which polled more than 2,300 people across the United States, 66% of respondents reported that they still talk to a few of their exes. And 28% of Gen Z claim they’re in touch with “most or all” of them.
“There are many reasons why people talk to their exes, especially right after a breakup,” says Dr. Nari Jeter, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Florida. It may be an attempt to stay friends, a matter of habit or the secret hope for reconciliation.
However, the problem, as we just witnessed in the Reddit post, is that staying emotionally connected can keep you stuck in the past, delaying closure, and making it difficult to fully commit to the future.
And ironically, most understand this if they’re on the “opposite” side—the same survey found that over two-thirds of respondents would be uncomfortable if their partner stayed close with someone they previously dated.
So while going no-contact with an ex you’ve known and perhaps even loved for years can feel brutal, it’s usually a very effective way to heal.
“For the person who has an easier time moving on, it’s a form of setting clear, firm boundaries,” explains Jeter. Especially if they feel pressured to support or check in on their former partner. “And for the one who’s struggling more with the breakup, no-contact provides a detox period where they can fully accept the end of the relationship.”
This becomes much harder when communication is on and off.
“Many people find the idea of ‘I’m never going to speak to them again?!’ hard to swallow,” Jeter says. But taking it day by day makes an emotionally tumultuous process more manageable and creates space for healing that can’t happen when you’re still in touch.
Still, the vast majority of people who read the woman’s story believe she should just break up with the guy and move on
