There’s not a lot worse than being betrayed by someone you love. Having your trust broken can be a traumatic experience that stays with you for years and could even make it hard for you to trust others, like new romantic partners.
For one woman, her world was shattered when she discovered her boyfriend had been cheating on her - with her stepsister. The situation was made even worse after the stepsister told her she was pregnant with the BF’s child. Now the woman is asking Reddit if she was the jerk for exposing the whole mess online.
More info: Reddit
Woman suspected her BF and stepsister were having an affair after spotting her BF's jacket in the stepsister's room
Image credits: Tan Danh (not the actual photo)
After denying it at first, her BF eventually came clean and admitted to cheating
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Things went from bad to worse after her stepsister revealed she was pregnant with the BF’s child
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Devastated, the woman let the cheating couple know that they had betrayed her in the worst way possible
Image credits: u/Extra_Comparison_904
The furious woman decided to get back at the couple by sharing the sordid details of their affair on social media
OP begins her story by telling the community that she had been dating her BF, Jake, for 3 years. The couple were really happy and had even spoken about moving in together and perhaps one day starting a family. Bearing all this in mind, OP thought that Jake might be “the one”.
In her post, OP shares that, 6 months back, her mom remarried, so OP got a new stepsister, Laura. She describes Laura as fun and outgoing, as said that they started hanging out together, with Laura even being invited into OP’s friend group.
OP says everything seemed fine until a few weeks ago, when Jake started acting weird, being more secretive with his phone, and making excuses for not coming around as much. OP didn’t think too much of this and chalked it up to Jake’s work stress.
Well, last week OP was at her mom’s place having a family dinner, when Laura said she wasn’t feeling well and left the table to go and lie down. OP’s mom asked her to check on her, so OP went up to her room. That’s when she noticed Jake’s jacket draped over Laura’s chair, and her heart sank.
OP decided to confront Jake about it later. After much denial and deflection, Jake admitted that he and Laura had been seeing each other behind OP’s back for two months.
As despicable as this was, OP was in for another shock: Laura came over the next day and revealed that she was pregnant - and Jake was the father.
Furious, OP decided to get her revenge by blasting the couple for their betrayal on social media, exposing their torrid affair and subsequent pregnancy. OP says her friends and family were shocked and the fallout has been massive. What’s more, Jake and Laura have been harassed and shunned online.
The dastardly couple have since begged OP to remove the posts, while OP’s mom thinks she went too far and should have handled the matter in private. Now OP has turned to the internet to get some perspective on the sticky situation.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
In his post on Marriage Builders, Willard F. Harley, Jr., PhD writes that affairs seldom make any logical sense, don’t usually pass the test of time, create major suffering, and typically lead to deep depression for the unfaithful partner torn between a powerful emotional connection and their obligations to their spouse.
Harley advocates that, when it comes to an affair, the sooner the infidelity can be exposed, the better. He argues that forcing the cheater to be held accountable for their actions publicly helps limit the pain that they can create.
Harley goes on to say that the affair should be exposed to one person at a time, ideally meeting face-to-face. Convincing evidence should be shown so that the affair cannot be challenged, but salacious info should be avoided. The purpose of exposure is not to embarrass or punish the cheater - it's to help end the pain of the betrayed partner.
In her article for HuffPost, Brittany Wong chatted with psychiatrist Scott Haltzman and marriage and family therapist Sheri Meyers about whether or not you should expose someone who is cheating.
Haltzman said that, while he understands the temptation to expose an affair so justice can be served, if you don’t know the person, the best idea would be to keep it to yourself for the safety of everyone involved.
As for revealing an affair to someone close to you, Meyers says you’d best come prepared with solid evidence. Even then, if this is coming out of the blue, the person you’re telling may go into denial, become defensive, devastated, embarrassed, or angry, even at you for being the bearer of bad news.
If you’re in the sorry scenario of discovering someone you know whose parent is cheating, Haltzman advises keeping the info to yourself.
Meyers agrees, saying, "A parent's infidelity has a profound impact on both children and adult children. It feels like a betrayal of everything they believed in and their sense of security. If it’s your own child and it’s your partner who's cheated and caused the divorce, the child -- depending on their age -- should be told in a loving way by both of you so they can ask questions. But anyone else's kid? Don't tell them. Absolutely not."
Bored Panda reached out to Dr Harley for his opinion on OP's situation. He and his wife Joyce took the time to discuss it on their podcast, Marriage Builders Radio - tune in at 11:27 for their expert insights.
What do you think of OP’s situation? Should she have handled the debacle privately, or was she justified in sharing the trainwreck on her social channels? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
Redditors slammed the couple for their shameful behavior and told OP it’s a ‘THEM’ problem that they were exposed
