We all have hobbies that let us unwind and recharge after a long day at the office. Reading, watching movies, playing video games, painting, birdwatching, jogging—it doesn’t quite matter what you do so long as you enjoy it. Your significant other should be happy to support you instead of trying to control you.
One woman went online to vent about how her toxic boyfriend tried to force her to give up video gaming because, from his perspective, it is a “boy habit” and “isn’t ladylike.” However, she was having none of his nonsense and defended her boundaries. Scroll down for the full story, a dramatic update, and the internet’s reactions to both.
Playing video games can be a great way to unwind after work and temporarily distract yourself from your problems in life
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A woman shared how her insecure, needy, toxic boyfriend tried to control how she spends her free time. He had an issue with her 'manly' hobby
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A person who tries to control others, including their partner, may have serious self-esteem issues and insecurities
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Someone who is confident in themselves and trusts and respects their significant other won’t try to control them. Meanwhile, somebody with serious self-esteem issues or narcissistic tendencies may try to make their significant other feel guilty about having hobbies that don’t involve them.
According to Verywell Mind, some of the biggest relationship red flags to look out for include the following:
- Controlling behavior
- Mismatched relationship goals
- Persistent jealousy and distrust
- Dependence problems
- Stories about ‘crazy exes’
- No friends
- Lack of emotional intimacy
- Giving you all of their time
- Gaslighting, lovebombing, breadcrumbing, and other manipulative behavior
- History of infidelity
“A partner who is controlling in any way likely has deep personal issues they must work on. Rethink your relationship if your partner tries to control who you see, who you talk to, where you go, how you spend your money, what you do online, what your body looks like, what you eat, or even what you wear,” Verywell Mind explains.
It's unhealthy if the person you're dating has no social life, puts all of their attention on you, and has trouble maintaining healthy relationships with others
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What’s more, what might at first seem like constant attentiveness or over-the-top generosity from your partner may actually be signs of desperation, insecurity, distrust, and underlying control problems.
Something else to think about is how your significant other spends their time. For instance, it’s worrying if they have very few friends, struggle to make new connections, and have a hard time maintaining their relationships.
“Try to understand why your partner has struggled to build connections with others. If you discover a deflection, no personal culpability, or lack of drive, then you will likely experience the same treatment in your relationship,” Verywell Mind suggests.
In a similar vein, it’s problematic if your partner focuses all of their time and attention on you and you alone. It’s an issue if they don’t have other relationships, hobbies, or goals.
In a nutshell, this signifies that they don’t have a proper sense of self and rely on you for their happiness and entertainment. This, in turn, can lead to resentment, unhappiness, a feeling of suffocation, and an unfulfilling relationship.
What do you think, Pandas? How would you have handled the situation if you were in the woman’s shoes? Has your significant other ever criticized your hobbies or tried to get you to give up the activities that you love? What are your favorite video games that you’d recommend everyone play in their lives? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Some time later, the woman shared what she decided to do after the toxic argument with her boyfriend
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Image credits: s_kawee (not the actual photo)
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Many readers were overjoyed that the author decided to leave the unhealthy relationship
