Living with someone else for the very first time can be a bit awkward. After all, everyone has their own schedules and habits. It takes a while to get in sync. However, in some cases, that’s extremely difficult because folks work very different hours.
Redditor u/Cucumbertrees asked the r/AITAH online community for advice regarding a sensitive situation at home. Her boyfriend recently started working nights, so he comes back home really late (or early, depending on your perspective). However, in order to get some rest, he asks the author to leave the bed so he can sleep ‘properly.’ Scroll down for the full story and the advice the internet gave the woman. Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
Sleeping next to your partner can be a tad uncomfortable at first for some until they get used to sharing their bed
Image credits: Craig Adderley / pexels (not the actual photo)
One woman asked for advice after her boyfriend, who works nights, asked her to leave the bedroom and sleep elsewhere
She later shared a lot more context about her and her boyfriend's living situation
Image credits: Mike Bird / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Andrew Patrick / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Cucumbertrees
There are lots of things that couples can do to get better quality sleep together
All couples need to find a way to make things work, whether you’re talking about sleeping arrangements and chore division or childcare and savings.
There will always be at least some friction. There will always be disagreements. So, you need to compromise on some things. But the key thing to keep in mind here is that both sides need to be happy with the decision. If one partner always gets their way at the expense of their better half, it might breed a lot of resentment.
In other words, one person shouldn’t feel like they have to sleep on the floor or on the couch just because their partner works the night shift. If there’s a perfectly good bed in the bedroom, it would be a shame not to use it. Sleeping next to another person can be uncomfortable at times, but that’s part of being in a relationship and living together. All of that prolonged physical contact can help deepen the bond between people.
On the other hand, nobody’s forcing anyone to hug each other throughout the night. If it’s too hot, you can always sleep without the covers on your side of the bed. And you can invest in some earplugs and a blindfold if things are too noisy and bright.
Alternatively, if the bed isn’t big enough for two people… it might be time to get a bigger and better one. Preferably with a good mattress and sheets and ergonomic pillows. There’s a lot that you can do to improve the quality of your sleep without asking your partner to leave the bedroom at night.
Another solution is to get a different position or move to another company where you don’t have to work nights. If you’re constantly tired and getting into fights with your other half over the quality of your sleep, it might be worth reconsidering your priorities.
Working the same hours as your partner could help you both get on the same page. However, there is a chance that the issues with the bed run deeper. It might be worth talking about the real reasons behind the disagreement before investing in a better couch for one of the people to sleep on.
Image credits: SHVETS production / pexels (not the actual photo)
Low-quality sleep is going to have a negative effect on your health and how you treat the people around you
Talking to a couples counselor is always an option: if you’re feeling lost or keep going in circles, they can help you see the entire situation from a fresh perspective.
It’s not fair to kick your partner out of bed, but it’s understandable that everyone wants to get quality sleep. It has a massive effect on our overall physical and mental health.
Different people have different needs based on their inherited traits. Some only need a few hours of sleep, while others need a bit more. But broadly speaking, most adults require between 7 to 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep per night, as per the CDC.
Around a third of healthcare workers in the United States get 6 or fewer hours of sleep per day, which many experts consider to be too short.
Getting too little sleep leads to sleep deprivation, which increases the risk of obesity, as well as chronic illnesses. Not only do people who don’t sleep enough feel tired, but they also have longer reaction times and have trouble thinking, remembering, and concentrating.
The National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute states that poor sleep affects the quality of our work and even social functioning. Someone who is sleep deficient might have trouble judging other’s emotions and reactions. Meanwhile, they’re more prone to feeling frustrated and worried when around other people.
According to the CDC, people on shift work and long work hours tend to have poorer sleep quality and sleep less. Those working night and rotating shifts are the most affected. 50% of night shift workers in the healthcare sector reported sleeping 6 hours or less per day.
What advice would you give the author of the post, Pandas? What would you do if you were in her shoes? Tell us all about it in the comments.
Image credits: Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo)
Many readers thought that the woman did absolutely nothing wrong. Here's the advice they gave her
Some folks had a slightly different perspective to share
