Relationships are about give and take, but if one partner holds the reins too tightly, things seldom end well. After all, who wants to be constantly told what they can and can’t do, especially once they’ve reached adulthood?
One woman found herself in the unenviable position of having to tell her boyfriend where he could get off after he tried to deny her a glass of wine because he doesn’t “trust her family genes”. She turned to netizens to share her story.
More info: Reddit
A healthy relationship should never be about control, as this woman was forced to point out to her pushy boyfriend
Image credits: Gustavo Fring / Pexels (not the actual photo)
While they were out shopping for a seafood dinner, she asked her boyfriend to grab a bottle of wine she knew would pair perfectly with the dish
Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Much to her surprise, her boyfriend flat-out refused, telling her she shouldn’t be drinking during the week
Image credits: simonapilolla / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When she asked him why, he straight-up told her that her family are alcoholics, and he doesn’t trust her “family genes”
Image credits: bowlofglitter
When she told him she’s an adult and she’ll do what she wants, he stormed off to his dad’s place, leaving her to ask netizens if she’d been a jerk
Most people would agree that a glass of wine with dinner is perfectly normal—unless you're OP’s boyfriend, Dave, that is. Her relaxing Thursday turned into a dramatic argument after Dave refused to let her enjoy a single glass of wine with her meal. His reason? Her family has a history of alcoholism, so he doesn’t “trust her genes.” Yikes.
It all started when the couple went shopping to pick up ingredients for a special seafood dinner. Thinking a small bottle of her favorite wine would pair perfectly with the dish, she asked Dave to grab one, but he flat-out refused. Confused, she asked him why, only to be hit with an unexpected and rather insulting insinuation.
Defending her right to make her own choices, she reminded Dave that she’s a grown woman and can make her own decisions. Instead of handling the conversation maturely, though, Dave exploded with anger, stormed off to his dad’s place for the night, and left OP high and dry with an untouched dinner. All over a measly glass of wine.
Now, she’s wondering if she was in the wrong, and turned to netizens for advice.
Let’s be real - controlling what your partner can and can't drink (especially in moderation) on a random Thursday night? Major red flag. Dave is using his fear of OP becoming an alcoholic to try to control her, and that’s just not how healthy relationships work. But is there any sense in his argument that she might be at risk of developing into a full-blown alcoholic just because of her family history? We went looking for answers.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In her article for Healthline, Hope Gillette writes that, according to the 2021 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, alcohol use disorder (AUD) affects approximately 29.5 million people in the United States.
The 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a clinical diagnostic guidebook, states that AUD often runs in families at a rate of 3–4 times higher compared with the general population.
Basically, the more relatives you have living with AUD and the closer they are to you in relation, the higher your individual genetic risk becomes.
In her article for GoodRX, Emily Guarnotta writes that, while genetics play a role in the risk of alcoholism, there is no “alcoholic gene.” Someone’s risk of developing AUD is due to variations in many different genes - researchers believe that hundreds of different genes play a role.
But it doesn’t all come down to genetics, either. Other risk factors for developing AUD include starting to drink alcohol at a young age, a history of trauma, mental health conditions, cognitive impairments, and difficulty controlling impulses in childhood or adolescence.
From what she tells the community in her post, it doesn’t seem like OP is anywhere near an alcoholic - she even mentions not being able to remember the last time she had a drink with dinner. We think her boyfriend is going to have to ease up a bit, or risk ruining their whole relationship.
What would you have done if you’d found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think her boyfriend has a point, or should he let her make her own adult choices? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers slammed the woman's boyfriend for being too controlling and reminded her that he's not her parent or boss
