“Tears Each Christmas”: Man Ruins Christmas For Wife Every Year, Pushes Her To Consider Divorce

Any successful relationship is about compromise, but there are always people who are so set in their ways that they don’t even realize how annoying it can be. Even worse, they might not see how their preferences end up being so stiffing that their partners start to second guess the entire relationship.

A woman wondered if she really needed to end her marriage over her husband’s stubbornness over how they celebrate Christmas. No matter what she suggested, he had to have everything be the same, year after year. We reached out to her via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

Some of the behaviors the husband exhibits do resemble common symptoms of autism, namely, a resistance to change and wanting to repeat certain actions. There are a lot of stubborn people out there, but folks with autism tend to feel and exhibit actual distress if they have to modify a common habit, like taking a new route to school or changing their diet. The mention of certain vegetables as part of Christmas dinner is quite telling here.

Similarly, people with autism tend to also enjoy repeated behaviors, in a very literal sense. Often these can be small things, like fidgeting or rocking in place, but it’s possible to see how the husband’s very particular ideas about different parts of celebrating Christmas could fall under this category.

However, it’s also worth adding that even if he does have autism, this isn’t an excuse to be totally uncompromising about this. His wife states that she started dreading Christmas each year, this should not be a feeling you cause your spouse to feel. It’s not like he hasn’t communicated this, she describes bringing it up on multiple occasions to no avail. It’s not at all strange to feel unhappy if your partner continues to do something you don’t like.

Image credit: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)

This highlights just how important compromise is in a relationship. Certainly, if someone feels like their entire relationship is just one compromise after another, it seems like it’s not a particularly successful relationship. Everyone has certain lines they will not cross, but this seems like an exceedingly strange hill to die on for the husband.

After all, it doesn’t seem like what she was asking for was that extreme. It’s not like it’s a choice between having some sort of celebration or nothing, or perhaps some very outlandish tradition. However, the fact that he can’t at all back down from a single thing is, ultimately, selfish. Because it seems like he is the only one who actually benefits from the very strict Christmas outline he has in his head.

The kids don’t seem to care about it and his wife dislikes it, so there doesn’t seem to be any real reason to maintain it. He also calls her things like “unreasonable” just for asking to do something a bit differently. This is, at best, unpleasant behavior, particularly coming from a man who is being entirely unreasonable.

This just highlights the importance of compromise and communication. The wife adds an important point for anyone reading a story like this, that we are only seeing a glimpse into a marriage that is 365 days a year. Even if it’s a “minor” point like this, having your preferences just ignored over and over again will end up causing a lot of strain in any relationship.