Growing up, millions of little girls across the globe wanted to be just like Barbie. Today, however, with the Barbie film taking the world by storm, plenty of adults are channeling their inner pink fashionistas as well. And for one woman, that meant breaking up with her boyfriend who wasn’t on board with the film’s feminist themes.
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Below, you’ll find a story that was recently shared on Reddit detailing how a date night to the Barbie movie was the catalyst for this woman’s break-up, as well as a conversation with Senior Accredited Sex and Relationship Psychotherapist Mary Clegg.
This woman was thrilled to see the new Barbie film with her boyfriend
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
But after his response to the movie fell flat, she realized how many issues in their relationship she had been overlooking
Image credits: warnerbros
Image credits: u/notalaskakidd
Image credits: warnerbros
Later, the woman shared an update on her situation
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/notalaskakidd
It has been debated for years whether or not Barbie is a progressive toy, but the film certainly has feminist themes
Image credits: Chuck Orbitz (not the actual photo)
Barbie dolls have long been a beloved, yet controversial, toy. Despite the fact that 92% of American girls between the ages of 3 and 12 have owned a Barbie doll and the company brings in $1 billion worth of sales in over 150 countries every year, not everyone is a fan. In recent years, Barbies have been criticized for promoting an unrealistic body image, potentially encouraging disordered eating and leading to girls developing insecurities about their bodies from a young age. On the other hand, however, Barbie dolls have portrayed women holding a wide variety of professions over the years. Yes, she does it all in high heels, with a cinched waist and perfectly styled hair, but she’s not simply a housewife.
Barbie has been a fashion designer, a rock star, a chef, an Olympic figure skater, a business executive, a robotics engineer, a renewable energy engineer, and more over the past 60 years. So it shouldn’t come as a complete shock that the Barbie film, directed by Greta Gerwig, who’s known for directing Lady Bird and Little Women, has feminist themes woven in. According to Kalhan Rosenblatt and Daysia Tolentino at NBC News, the movie brings bimbo feminism and hyperfemininity into the mainstream, while addressing “the complexity and contradictions of modern womanhood.” “The crux of the message is that women should have the autonomy to be what they want to be without having to conform to the patriarchy’s ideals,” Rosenblatt and Tolentino write.
It’s still common for men to be skeptical of feminism, as one third believe it does more harm than good
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
While the woman who shared this post on Reddit admits that her relationship did not end solely due to the Barbie film, the movie did bring to her attention how different their views are on certain topics, such as feminism. Unfortunately, this is a common issue for couples to have, as one third of men believe that feminism actually does more harm than good.
“Men today are raised in a culture that largely promotes (false) anti-feminist stereotypes, such as that feminists hate men or want power over men (rather than equality), which may lead them to be skeptical of the movement or people who associate with it,” says Julie Zeilinger, author of A Little F’d Up: Why Feminism Is Not A Dirty Word. But just because your partner may have been raised without being exposed to what exactly feminism is doesn’t mean he’s a lost cause.
If you love your partner and they’re open to learning and understanding where you’re coming from, she recommends simply explaining feminism to him. “Feminism is, on the most basic level, a movement that pursues social, political and economic equality,” Zeilinger writes. However, if he is openly against it and you have fundamental differences in your values that will never be resolved, it might be time to consider ending the relationship. “You should be with someone who makes your life better—who challenges you, who makes you a better version of yourself and makes you happy,” Zeilinger says.
Having values that align with your partner can make any relationship easier
Image credits: thefreebieguy
To gain more insight on the topic of sharing values with our partners, we reached out to Senior Accredited Sex and Relationship Psychotherapist and Clinical Director of the Mary Clegg Clinic, Mary Clegg herself. Mary was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and explain why it’s important for our partners to have similar views and values. “Put simply, when we get together with someone, we miss the red flags because we are so in ‘love’. At that moment, they meet our needs,” the expert shared. “No relationship should feel like a compromise.”
We also asked Mary if she believes it’s worth it to break up with a partner who holds different views. “Could be, but couples who try to resolve their difficulties stay together,” she shared, citing Gottman. “Relationship and couple therapists teach couples to resolve things with balance, calmness and structure. Sounds boring, but it is truly amazing.”
"When you truly know someone, love will grow as you are a partnership"
Mary also says it’s not uncommon for break-ups to be sparked by something seemingly unrelated, like the Barbie movie. “Very often there will be a trigger like the film, but understanding that your partner has different values, you need to look to the why,” the expert says. “Whose view is it? (A collection of stories from his dad?) Where did that view come from? Reflection is an art form.”
“Brene Brown said to love someone is to ‘know’ them,” Mary added. “Did they really communicate on all topics, or was she shut down by a blunt response? Even that needs exploring. When you truly know someone, love will grow as you are a partnership, together, have each other’s backs etc.” If you’d like to hear more wise words from Mary and the rest of her team, be sure to visit the Mary Clegg Clinic’s website.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this woman was right to end her relationship? Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues in a relationship, we recommend reading this piece next.
Readers assured the woman that she had valid reasons to end her relationship
