It just so happens that Christmas is a perfect "supplier" of not only romantic and funny tales, but also various stories in the family drama genre. Of course, this is actually easy to explain, because since Christmas is a family holiday, very often relatives representing different generations, different beliefs and values, and different points of view on even the simplest things gather under the same roof. And where there are differences, there, alas, are always confrontations.
How many stories have we heard when spouses' parents, believing themselves to be more experienced in the field of raising children, tried to "instruct" the new mom and dad, while actually imposing their own point of view on them? Very often, this does not lead to anything good, and here is another fairly clear example.
This story recently appeared on the AITA Reddit community, and the post, written by user u/aitabffilb, has around 4.4K upvotes and over 1.6K comments as of today. And although we are talking here about a violation of the almost unshakable yet unspoken law "my house - my rules", most commenters sided with the "violator". However, let's not get ahead of ourselves...
More info: Reddit
The author of the post and her husband usually spend time before Christmas with the man's parents as the in-laws don't celebrate this holiday
Image credits: faungg's photos (not the actual image)
So, the author of the original post and her husband usually spend time visiting their parents at the end of the year. They always spend Christmas with the Original Poster's parents, and before that, they visit her in-laws. The thing is, the OP's husband's parents don't celebrate Christmas out of principle. However, here they certainly have every right to do as they wish.
Image credits: u/aitabbfilb
As the author gave birth to her son in August, her in-laws started giving her lots of unsolicited advice on parenting
But this year, the situation has become more complicated. Moreover, as the author of the post says, it became so due to the birth of their son in August. The OP claims that her in-laws are people who are not only very principled, but also very pushy with their ideas. We all probably know this type of person - they always say that, for example, when they raised their own children, they were talking and crawling at literally three months old, and if other kids do not, it is only because their parents are doing something wrong.
Image credits: u/aitabbfilb
Moreover, after the birth of her son, the OP had a small confrontation with her FIL about feeding the baby. The child has had formula occasionally due to supply issues and the new mom tries to be very careful about feeding. As for the father-in-law, he decided - since the child has eaten the formula several times, why not switch to it all the time?
Image credits: u/aitabbfilb
Before the spouses' arrival, the in-laws claimed that the new mom may not breastfeed the baby in 'family spaces' of their house
In any case, the author of the post defended her right to breastfeed her son, but this time, when they went to visit her in-laws, she was confronted with the fact that in their house she could not breastfeed the child in any 'family spaces', because it supposedly would make her husband's parents 'uncomfortable'. However, what could she do - the new mom agreed to that, as she just didn't want the judgment.
Image credits: Dave Clubb (not the actual photo)
So, when the couple arrived at the in-laws' house, the new mom again had to endure a flurry of questions, such as why she 'bothered to breastfeed' when the baby 'obviously likes formula'. The OP, of course, was upset by such questions, but, gritting her teeth, she forced herself to calm down. The husband, seeing that his wife was uncomfortable, decided to talk to his parents. However, the worst was yet to come...
Image credits: u/aitabbfilb
One day the new mom decided to breastfeed the hungry baby in the empty living room, and then her FIL came in...
At one point, the child got hungry and burst into tears. The new mom was tired of constantly going upstairs to the bedroom, so she decided to seize the moment - after all, the husband and his mother were smoking outside, and the father-in-law was cleaning up the kitchen. The OP decided that while no one was watching her, she could breastfeed the baby straight in the living room. And at that very moment the homeowner returned to the room...
Image credits: u/aitabbfilb
The MIL dubbed the author 'selfish' and stated that she 'violated their house rules'
The OP's FIL literally groaned and asked in a tragic voice what she was doing. Then the mother-in-law came in and yelled at the woman for 'breaking the house rules' and doing something that she knew would make other people 'uncomfortable'. In the heat of the quarrel, the mother-in-law called the OP selfish and even asked - how would she feel if she and her husband started walking around naked?
Image credits: Barney Moss (not the actual image)
More accusations followed, but the OP didn't care. She called her mother in tears, leaving her husband to bicker with his own parents. Hearing what happened, the mother offered to immediately buy tickets for her daughter and the baby, yet refused to pay for her husband's flight, because she decided that he did not protect his wife enough. However, the husband took what happened with understanding, and did not throw an extra fit.
The author and the baby flew to her parents seeking support, yet her own dad told her that she was wrong in that case
If you think this is the end of the plot, then you are definitely wrong. It turns out that our heroine did not find complete understanding even among her own parents, and while her mother completely took her side, her father said that since she was told the rules of conduct in other people's house, she was obliged to obey them. However, his own wife immediately interrupted the man's ranting, asking him 'to quit playing devil's advocate'. However, the man nevertheless planted a seed of doubt in his daughter's head...
However, most people in the comments sided with the new mom, labelling her in-laws rude and judgemental people
And yet, the commenters tried to dispel all the OP's doubts in this situation. According to people in the comments, feeding her baby is way more important than catering to her FIL's delicate sensibilities. Moreover, some commenters are generally disgusted that the baby's own grandparents make his mom feel this way. Furthermore, the husband of the OP, according to people in the comments, should be more active in defending his spouse's rights.
Yes, on the one hand, some commenters admit, the OP's in-laws have the right to make their own rules in their own house. But these rules look completely stupid, and the homeowners themselves behaved rudely and look like judgmental people. On the other hand, perhaps the OP should have simply disagreed with these stupid rules in advance - since her husband was understanding enough to take her side in a confrontation with his own parents.
We do believe that in this situation your point of view can also be useful, so please feel free to express it in the comments. And, as always, if you have ever faced or witnessed any similar case, please tell us your own story and how it all ended for both sides of the confrontation. And we do hope every story will have a happy ending.
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