Woman Wonders If She Should Get Surgery For Her Friend’s Wedding Because The Bride Asked Her To

It’s not uncommon for people to ask their friends for a favor; some would even say that that’s what friends are for. But some individuals, like this redditor’s friend, ask for favors much larger than a helping hand with moving or lending a bike for the weekend.

In the OP’s case, the favor her friend—a bride-to-be—asked of her was to remove a mole on her face. Saying that the mole “would be a distraction” and that she “wouldn’t look good in the photos,” the woman’s friend offered to pay for the surgery, but the OP still wasn’t convinced she should go through with it. Scroll down to find the full story in her own words below.

While it’s not unheard of for people to ask favors from their friends, some find it difficult to do; they might not want to bother others with their worries or waste their precious time. Though such opportunities for people to help others can have a positive effect on their well-being.

A study on prosocial behavior found that people in need of help consistently underestimated how willing others were to help them and how positive lending a helping hand would make them feel. They also overestimated how inconvenient aiding them would be for the people on the receiving end of a call for help. The study emphasized that performing acts of kindness increases an individual’s well-being, but some people are still reluctant to ask for help and give those around them a chance to show their capacity for kindness.

But while asking for favors and doing them can benefit both sides, it might not work the same way if the request exceeds certain boundaries. Asking a friend to water your plants while you’re on vacation, for instance, is not that uncommon; requesting that the friend pay for said vacation, though, might step over the line of what most would consider a favor. It’s safe to assume that asking a friend to undergo surgery as a favor would also be considered too much by many.

In addition to being seemingly too big of a favor to ask, Zoe—the bride-to-be—requesting that her friend remove a mole on her face also doesn’t send a good message. Instead of loving her the way she is, she told her friend that she would look better (in the pictures) without it. Needless to say, comments like this don't make one feel better about their looks. And while some people manage to not take them to heart, for others, negative remarks from friends can even lead to body dissatisfaction.

In her post, the OP admitted that she has felt insecure about her mole in the past. And she’s far from the only one—according to an Ipsos survey from 2018, many people feel unhappy with their looks, even if only from time to time. The survey found that as much as 79% of Americans didn’t like how their body looked at times, though 21% were always satisfied with their bodies. For nearly a third of respondents, body dissatisfaction was more prevalent when they were doing something in particular, with looking in the mirror, wearing a bathing suit, or shopping for clothes being the three worst activities regarding one’s feelings about their body.

But preferred body types are a subjective matter, as are certain facial features. Some of them—freckles, for instance—are something people might feel insecure about, but for many, they add charm and personality to one’s looks. Nowadays, more people seem to appreciate such features—some even pay to get freckles done—which can hopefully encourage others to embrace their unique features instead of trying to get rid of them. In an update, the OP shared that she decided to keep hers.

Image source: RudeLab9732