A beautiful envelope arrives in your (e)mail with great news — your friend is getting married. But along with the celebration comes the cost of attendance, which can easily cost hundreds of dollars, or as it was for Reddit user Lemonkitty's buddy, even more.
Last week, they made a post on the subreddit 'Entitled People' to vent about his dreadful experience of having to receive an entry fee after you've already RSVPed. The man didn't back down. He even drained his savings to be there for the couple. However, in the end, he was left feeling disappointed.
Continue scrolling to check out how it all unfolded and don't miss the conversation we had with Lisa Burton, the founder of The Bridal Consultant, which is one of the leading wedding planning agencies in the UK offering destination weddings.
This guy was delighted to get an invitation to his friend's wedding
Image credits: Matheus Bertelli (not the actual photo)
But after he RSVPed, the couple demanded he contribute to the ceremony
Image credits: Oladimeji Ajegbile (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Skye Studios (not the actual photo)
Image source: lemonkitty_
There's nothing wrong with having a wedding fund per se, but it's essential to approach it with respect for your guests
"'I've heard of couples that set up a 'wedding fund' and instead of wedding gifts they can ask guests to pay for a special photographer or fireworks, something their own budget doesn't extend to, which I think is a great idea, but these are optional and not expected," Lisa Burton, the founder and head wedding planner of The Bridal Consultant, told Bored Panda.
Free drinks aren't a universal thing, either.
"For example, us Brits aren't known for our free bars," Burton said. "We often include a drink of champagne to toast to the bride and groom and perhaps wine with dinner, but after that, it's up to the guests to pay for their drinks."
Of course, there are nuances.
"With a wedding abroad, due to the cost of the guests paying for a holiday to attend, couples usually include an open bar as a thank you," Burton added. "If the couple can't extend their budget to afford a full open bar, then they might just include beer and wine, but it's a generous token anyway."
But it's a sign of good etiquette to inform your guests about the particulars.
"If guests are expected to pay for drinks, then I recommend our couples tell them in advance, usually when communicating final details a few weeks before the wedding," Lisa Burton said. "Some venues only accept cash, some are eye-wateringly expensive, and no one wants a wedding lacking a party atmosphere as no one can afford a drink.
Jack isn't the only one who doesn't have much wiggle room in his budget for attending weddings
Image credits: Faruk Tokluoğlu (not the actual photo)
On average, people pay $460 to attend a wedding, according to data available from The Knot. (But keep in mind that the number can vary significantly.)
The average wedding attendance cost breakdown looks as follows:
- Local weddings: $270.
- Weddings out of town (drive): $660.
- Weddings out of town (fly): $1,270.
- Wedding gift: $160.
Those who belong to the bridal party are likely to spend even more – especially if they're a bridesmaid. Additional costs can include:
- The bachelor or bachelorette party/trips.
- A bridal shower.
- A "Yes to the Dress" party.
- Professional hair and makeup.
- More expensive attire than you may otherwise purchase.
- Shared accommodations for the night before the wedding.
"As I plan weddings abroad, guests ordinarily pay for their holiday and flights just to attend the wedding, most guests will use this as their annual break," Lisa Burton, the founder and head wedding planner of The Bridal Consultant told Bored Panda. "Of course, not everyone can afford a holiday abroad at the moment, due to the cost of living crisis, but this is a risk the couple considers before booking their wedding abroad."
"Along with this, there is the cost of outfits (which don’t necessarily have to be new) and the couple's gift, which isn’t always expected when a couple marries abroad as the guests have already paid for a holiday to attend."
However, Buron said that all of the details are expected to be discussed way before invitations are sent out, both out of respect and to give the guests time to consider if they wish to attend or not.
Time is your friend when it comes to budgeting. As soon as you receive the "save the date" notice, start planning for the costs, such as travel and accommodations, wedding gift, attire, and bridal party events. But of course, that's hard to do when you receive news only last minute.
As his story went viral, the original poster (OP) engaged in the discussion
And people have had plenty of reactions to the whole ordeal
