If you’re attending someone’s wedding, you might inadvertently violate a few (unwritten) rules. Maybe you take out your phone when it’s supposed to be tucked away, or perhaps you touch a decoration at the venue you really shouldn’t. But these things usually don’t ruin the night for anyone.
However, a woman came to the internet with a story about her mother-in-law intentionally trying to sabotage her ceremony. Speaking to the community over at r/CharlotteDobreYouTube, she said the lady attended the event in a white dress and even hoped to be seen by as many guests as possible!
The groom’s mother has a big role to play in his wedding
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
But it doesn’t mean she can just take over the show
Image credits: anonymous
Image credits: anonymous
The mother-in-law is exhibiting textbook narcissistic behavior
You don’t always need a diagnosis to identify a narcissist, notes therapist Natalie Jambazian, LMFT.
She says that since narcissism falls under a wide spectrum, it’s also possible for someone not to have a full diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder even if they exhibit narcissistic traits.
“They may also project their insecurities onto others, victimize themselves, and blame others. They often are selfish and exhibit controlling behaviors," Jambazian explains.
Generally, narcissists are very inwardly focused, often at the expense of others. In everyday life, this shows up as avoiding blame, neglecting personal responsibility, acting selfishly, utilizing manipulative tactics to get their way, and being unable to see another’s perspective.
Specifically, some traits or behaviors you might see in a narcissistic mother-in-law may include:
- Initially charming and charismatic to gain approval
- Jealousy, especially regarding their child’s relationship with their life partner
- Won’t take responsibility for behaviors or harm they’ve caused in the past or recently
- Becomes aggressive or hostile if things don’t go her way, or may rely on guilt-tripping to get her way
- Oversteps clearly defined (or generally accepted) personal boundaries
- Inserts herself into her children’s lives and their relationships
- Uses triangulation, where they create conflicts and competition between family members
- Doesn’t inquire (or seem to care) about her child’s feelings or experiences and may even dismiss them outright
- Won’t commit to events and/or tries to control big plans
- Seeks revenge or holds deep grudges
- Demands appreciation, praise, and attention to the point of exhaustion
Of course, it’s easy to throw around labels without having the full picture, but the mother-in-law from this story certainly checks at least a few of the boxes described above.
Image credits: Juris Freidenfelds (not the actual photo)
So it’s probably no surprise that when people read the woman’s post, they congratulated her on showing the lady her place
So the woman came back with more details
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepic.diller (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anonymous
People were impressed she kept her cool
