When a happy couple finally decides to tie the knot, they often want to make sure their closest friends will be an integral part of the process. Bachelor and bachelorette parties are on the horizon, and outfits for the big day must all be coordinated! But who do you think should take on the financial responsibility for these wedding party obligations?
According to TikToker Partygirlclauds, the bride-to-be should ensure that her bridesmaids don’t have to pay a dime. But after sharing a video explaining why she feels this way, Claudia learned that her views are a bit controversial. Below, you’ll find the video that sparked this discussion, as well as a conversation with Claudia and some of the replies viewers left her.
Weddings can be extremely expensive for everyone involved
Image credits: Emma Bauso (not the actual photo)
That's why this bride believes bridesmaids shouldn't have to pay a dime to take part in their friends' weddings
Image credits: partygirlclauds
"Should you make your bridesmaids pay their own way for the wedding? For context, I'm a 2023 bride. I'm getting married in August and I don't expect my bridesmaids to pay for a single thing, including the hen party. Your wedding is not your bridesmaids' financial responsibility. If they were a guest, they will be paying a certain amount to come to your wedding, sure, in wedding gifts, maybe they're buying a new dress, for example. But if they're in your bridal party, they're paying for a lot of stuff. Bridal shower, hen party, makeup, hair (if you're paying for that), a dress, jewelry, shoes, and a wedding gift on top of that."
Image credits: partygirlclauds
"You're essentially asking for them to pay for your financial responsibilities, right? It's your wedding, you want to have a wedding, and yet you're expecting them to put their financial goals or their finances to the side to make way for your wedding when it may not be in their budget at all. And to the brides that think, "Oh, this is a privilege to be my bridesmaids", I would implore you to think again."
Image credits: partygirlclauds
"Your bridesmaids are dedicating their time, their emotional energy, their physical energy to be a bridesmaid in whatever aspect you expect them to show up for. So asking them to pay financially on top of that... and weddings are not cheap, hold on, like, weddings are not cheap. On average, it's gonna be around $1,000 (an Australian average) for a bridesmaid to pay her way from start to finish for the wedding. If I was a bridesmaid, I would not be comfortable with that cost. So you need to ask yourself, is this financially viable for my friend? If you're going to ask them to pay their own way, is this financially viable for them? Would I be comfortable paying X amount of money that I'm asking them to pay? And do I want this money situation to cause a wedge in my friendship? And can I even afford to have bridesmaids?
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
If you can't pay for it then, realistically, you shouldn't be able to... you shouldn't have bridesmaids. Every situation is different. Yes, you can have bridesmaids who are like, "Look, I'm happy to pay." Like, my friends have offered, my bridesmaids have offered, "Look, we want to pay for things," and I personally don't feel comfortable asking them to pay for things when I have asked them to be my bridal party. It's not a privilege. It's work for them and they're my friends and they love me. They want to support me but it's not their responsibility to pay around $700 to $800 at the moment per bridesmaid to be in my wedding. It's just not fair."
Image credits: partygirlclauds
"Your bridesmaids may not feel comfortable coming to you and saying, "Hey, listen, I can't afford this," because they love you and they want you to have the best wedding ever. But you need to think about their financial situations as well. It's not just about you. Just because it's your day doesn't mean that they care as much about it as you do. You are the only person as a bride who cares as much about your wedding as you do."
Image credits: partygirlclauds
Image credits: Emma Bauso (not the actual photo)
You can hear all of Claudia's thoughts right here
Bridesmaids often spend $1,000 or more to participate in a friend's wedding
Image credits: Agung Pandit Wiguna (not the actual photo)
When a friend asks you to be in their wedding party, you might be brimming with joy. You’re excited to celebrate this joyous time in their life, and you might feel honored that they wanted to include you in it. But unfortunately, all of the fun that comes along with being a bridesmaid can have a high price tag attached.
According to Wedding Wire, bridesmaids were spending an average of $1,200 per wedding in 2017, but they’re likely spending even more today. One in five millennials say they’ve spent $1,000 or more on a friend’s wedding, and another 20% admit that they’ve had to turn down a wedding party invitation due to the costs. Considering the fact that 61% of young adults have $1,000 or less in savings, being a bridesmaid or groomsmen can easily break the bank.
To learn more about what inspired this conversation in the first place, we reached out to Claudia via email. Claudia, also known as The Social Bride, is a wedding expert and content creator from Australia who’s passionate about helping couples have the most magical wedding days possible.
As far as what sparked this particular video, Claudia told Bored Panda, “I’m at the age now where everyone is getting married, and I saw friends left and right spending thousands of dollars being a bridesmaid and then I got engaged. I told everyone point blank that they wouldn’t be paying for a single thing to be in my bridal party. Their commitment is enough. It’s unfair for you as a bride to make your wedding someone else’s financial responsibility – especially in today’s troubled economy.”
"If you can’t afford to pay for your bridesmaids – then you shouldn’t have them"
Image credits: Brent Keane (not the actual photo)
Claudia also shared that she hasn’t yet been a bridesmaid for anyone else, but how much she would be willing to pay to be in a friend’s wedding party, if anything at all, would depend on the costs and the expectations of the bride, as well as her financial situation at that moment.
We were also curious what Claudia thought of the reactions her video received. “The overall response was positive,” she says. “I noticed many Australian brides agreeing with me but lots of American users disagreeing, so it was interesting to see varying opinions online.” But Claudia said the responses didn’t surprise her. “I knew it was going to cause some level of controversy, but I think it’s very positive– all the conversations that have come from it.”
Claudia also wants brides to understand that being a bridesmaid is often not the honor that they think it is. “It’s work, and if you think someone should be paying $1,000+ plus to be a bridesmaid, it’s a bit ridiculous. If you can’t afford to pay for your bridesmaids – then you shouldn’t have them.”
But the idea of having brides cover all costs is still considered controversial
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
While Claudia’s idea of having the bride cover all of her wedding expenses is certainly considerate, it’s not exactly mainstream yet. Wedding planner Deborah DeFrancesco told Boston Magazine that brides should be prepared to cover their bridesmaids’ bouquets and perhaps their hair and makeup if they’ll be getting it done by a professional. But DeFrancesco warns bridesmaids that they’ll likely have to fund their own dresses (along with alterations), the bridal shower and/or bachelorette party and shower and wedding gifts.
Brides.com has also consulted wedding planning experts on the topic, and many of them warned that being in a wedding party can become expensive quickly. But it’s crucial for brides and grooms to understand that not everyone may be able to participate. “Be as transparent as possible and give people the grace to say no,” says Fallon Carter, of Fallon Carter Events. “You’re asking for a huge financial commitment. It is your wedding, not theirs."
We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments below, pandas. Do you think brides and grooms should cover all of their wedding party’s expenses? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing the costs of being a bridesmaid, look no further than right here!
Many viewers agreed with Claudia, noting that being a bridesmaid shouldn't become a financial burden
But not everyone agreed, as some believe we should be willing to pay to celebrate a friend's big day
