One of the stresses of planning a wedding is finalizing the guest list without too much drama. Some couples choose to let everyone bring a plus one. Others don't. But it's widely accepted that if a sibling is in a long-term relationship, their plus one would naturally be their partner.
Imagine one bride's surprise when her brother informed her that his girlfriend of two years would not be accompanying him to the wedding. And it wasn't because they'd broken up. Instead, the brother has decided to invite his "girl best friend" who his sister, to put it lightly, is not very fond of. The bride swiftly revoked her brother's plus one invitation and took it upon herself to invite his girlfriend instead. He's furious and the whole ordeal has caused a rift in the family.
When one bride sent a wedding invitation to her brother's apartment, she assumed he'd know it was for him and his GF
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She was left baffled, and angry, when he decided to invite his "mean and cold" female bestie as his +1 instead
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Wedding invite etiquette, according to the experts
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Each couple may choose to do things differently, but traditionally, wedding invitations are sent out 6-8 weeks before the big day. This gives guests enough time to clear their schedules, organize childcare, and make travel arrangements if necessary.
It also gives the bridal couple time to finalize numbers for catering and other logistics once they’ve received the RSVPs. On that note, most couples make their RSVP dates at least 2-3 weeks before the wedding.
If you expect your guests to mail back their RSVPs, experts say you should always include return postage. “It’s a thoughtful touch, makes it easier for guests to respond promptly, and spares them the effort of finding or paying for a stamp,” best-selling author and founder of Beaumont Etiquette, Myka Meier told Vogue.
How you address your guest invites is completely up to you, and could depend on whether you're having a formal or casual wedding. Write their first names, their titles and their surnames or their full names.
“This past year, our clients have been very particular about how they address their guests," revealed wedding planner, Veronica Joy Gurl. "This is a place where we think you can be as formal or as informal as you want. At the end of the day, no guests are going to see how you addressed your other guests, so do what you prefer and feel most comfortable with.”
What the experts say about the +1 topic...
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And the burning point: experts say you should always indicate if a guest has a plus one or can bring children. Likewise, for guests, unless an invitation clearly states you have a plus one or can bring your children, do not assume you can.
“For plus-ones, include their name on the invitation if you know it, or address it to ‘Mr. John Smith and Guest.’ With digital invitations, you can connect guests on the guest list so every family member can see who is invited and RSVP for the household, or specify a ‘+1’ for a guest to add with their RSVP,” Meier explained.
According to wedding planning website The Knot, you don't have to give every single guest a plus-one. “If they're not married or in a serious relationship, it's perfectly acceptable to extend a solo invite,” reads a post on the topic. “Most of your loved ones will understand that without ‘and guest’ or another name on the invitation, they aren't invited with a plus-one.”
The Knot adds that if a guest RSVPs for two, but you’ve got them down without a plus-one, “call them and explain you're trying to be diligent about your guest list, and unfortunately, you were not able to invite everyone with a guest.”
In an ideal world, all of your guests will be invited by name, notes the site. “Taking the time to find out their names and preferred titles is an extra step that makes each person truly feel like a part of the celebration rather than a tag-along. If you've done some digging and can't confirm their full name and title, it's better to play it safe and use "and guest."
And this could be how the bride found herself embroiled in pre-wedding drama with her brother. Had she simply written Lia’s name on the invitation in the first place, there’d be no confusion about who was invited. And who wasn’t. But, in the comments she did admit that this was an oversight on her part.
Netizens jumped in to take the bride's side and they had harsh words for her brother
The sister later provided a dramatic update in the comments
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The situation took a sad turn a few weeks later, leaving the bride in shock
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The woman gave a detailed account of the events, revealing Amanda's part in everything
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Exhausted by family or in-law drama like this one? Visit our Family Dynamics Hub for expert-backed guides on toxic relatives, parenting styles, and personal boundaries.