When we talk about "golden children" from the perspective of their siblings, we usually take a critical stance - it's clear that such a family atmosphere usually causes mental harm to other kids. But how much harm does this status actually do to the parents' favorite? Well, today we present you with a rather controversial story.
On the one hand, yes, its author, the user u/bubblegum3112, was a typical golden child for his parents from childhood. On the other hand, he managed to overcome this unpleasant syndrome and become a decent person. His younger bro, however, who "inherited" this status, apparently couldn't cope with the mental pressure.
More info: Reddit
A "golden child" problem can actually have two sides - it's an issue for other kids in the family but a huge burden for a parents' favorite as well
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post was a "golden child" himself years ago but he managed to cope with this and become a decent sibling
Image credits: bubblegum3112
Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The parents then "appointed" the youngest of their 4 kids as a new favorite and even coaxed him to postpone college in order to go for numerous trips with them
Image credits: bubblegum3112
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The younger bro then asked the author to help him fund his tuition, but then he found out that he failed the college completely
Image credits: bubblegum3112
The brother then demanded to get full-fledged allowance from the former "golden child" but the author just said a flat-out No
So, the Original Poster (OP) tells us that he’s now 33 years old and is the eldest of his parents' four children. And, as is sometimes the case, he was a true golden child for mom and dad - after all, he usually got the best of everything. However, the author himself did his best to succeed - he did great in education and is now the highest earner among all his siblings.
Over time, our hero mended fences with two other siblings - especially since, thanks to his scholarship, he was able to share his college fund with his sister and brother. At the same time, their parents "appointed” the younger brother, now 23, the new "golden child." While the older siblings worked and studied, the guy traveled the world with his parents. Well, that's their business, right?
Recently, the younger bro finally got into college and asked the OP to help him pay for it. Our hero agreed - but some time later, he found a video on social media where his brother cussed him out while being intoxicated. It turned out he'd decided to drop out of college - and then even demanded that the OP give him a regular allowance equal to the average salary in their area.
The basis for such a demand? Well, the guy said that the OP, being a golden child for parents, had thus emotionally damaged him - and this would be a kind of moral compensation. The author refused, and his other brother sided with him. However, the sister, after thinking about it, said it made sense to support the younger bro anyway. So now the OP is in two minds if he reacted correctly, and what should he actually do now?
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Yes, the golden child issue is indeed more relevant than ever in our society - but the thing is, it’s actually the parents’ choice, and their attempts to spoil one child with special attention often only harm the kids themselves. Parental influence can vary with different children - and our today’s tale is further proof of this.
"Golden children are usually raised by narcissistic parents who are controlling and authoritarian,” this article at Thrive Works says. “These parents often live vicariously through their golden child and view the child as an extension of themselves.” Yes, the case where parents took the 20-year-old son on trips at their own expense while the other children were studying is quite another manifestation of narcissism.
This article on Charlie Health rightly notes that favoritism is usually associated with parents' inflated expectations of their child in everything related to academic success, sports, and other areas of life. And while our hero obviously coped with this mental pressure, his younger bro, apparently, proved more susceptible and couldn't bear this burden.
The vast majority of commenters on the original post also believe the author did the right thing by refusing to fund his brother's "doing nothing" and urged him to coax their sister into doing the same. Ultimately, many responders do believe this should benefit the youngest brother, who must learn to rely on himself in this life. So do you, our dear readers, also agree with this?
People in the comments unanimously sided with the eldest brother, claiming that his younger sibling was the actual "golden child" here, not him
