We all know weddings are a big deal, and honestly, so is the dress: the one and only time you get to wear a giant, sparkly white gown without being judged for your life choices. But what do you do when a friend or family member has every intention of showing up to your wedding in a white dress?
Today's Original Poster (OP) was in the process of planning her wedding when her brother's fiancée mentioned that she would be wearing a white dress to the wedding. Every effort made to make her realize that it was the wrong move proved to be futile.
More info: Reddit
It used to be common knowledge that wearing white to a wedding as a guest was a taboo, but apparently this woman wasn't aware
Image credits: Nathan Dumlao / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author is a bride-to-be and was stunned to see her brother's fiancée planned to wear a white dress to her wedding
Image credits: LegionBreaker22
Image credits: Rosemary Williams / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
She brought it to the fiancée's attention that she couldn't wear white, to which she responded that certainly no one would confuse her for the bride
Image credits: LegionBreaker22
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
She told her brother what his fiancée said and he also insisted that there was nothing wrong with it and accused her of being insecure
Image credits: LegionBreaker22
The author nicely suggested that the fiancée come in any other color except white, but she was met with a dismissive response
The OP was having a peaceful holiday with family when her brother’s fiancée shared that she’d found the “perfect dress” for the OP's upcoming wedding. But the problem was that it wasn’t just any dress. It was a white gown, and not the soft ivory or champagne kind. It was pure bridal white. The OP, understandably surprised, pointed out that white is usually reserved for the bride and that it wouldn't work.
Her brother's fiancée mentioned that she just likes the way it looked on her, but the OP wasn't satisfied. She suggested her brother's fiancée find something else, but she insisted that no one would confuse her for the bride. The OP then decided to bring up her concerns with her brother, and he also claimed that his fiancée was just being herself and that it was no big deal.
He then went ahead to accuse of her being insecure if she thought anyone would confuse his fiancée for the bride. Stunned, the OP explained the situation to her fiancé and her mother, and they understood where she was coming from. Her brother and his fiancée still believed she was just being controlling, though.
The OP asked her brother's fiancée to reconsider her dress choice, reiterating that she was welcome to attend the wedding in any color but white. The fiancée, however, just rolled her eyes and told her she was only being uptight about it.
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Wearing white to someone else’s wedding is a taboo that’s stood the test of time for at least a century. Author Martha Stewart explains on her website that it’s considered tacky because it can confuse guests and take attention away from the bride, who should be the clear focal point of the day.
If there's any doubt about whether wearing white is appropriate, Green Wedding Shoes advises against it. Even if the dress code is unclear, they suggest that it is important to never assume the couple is okay with it. According to them, it’s always best to ask.
Checking in is especially important if you’re close to the couple or if they have a non-traditional approach to weddings. However, when uncertain, choosing another outfit is the safest option.
Wedding planning should be a joyful time, but as Brides points out, it can become stressful when family members dismiss concerns. If someone downplays feelings, shifts blame, or plays the victim, it can signal toxic behavior, making standing firm on boundaries essential.
Netizens confirmed that the bride was absolutely not in the wrong, baffled that the fiancée didn't understand the basic rule of not wearing white to a wedding. Some even suggested creative ways to give Emily a taste of her own medicine, like wearing a wedding dress to her big day. The consensus? The fiancée was either clueless or attention-seeking, and the bride has every right to enforce her boundary.
What do you think about this situation? Do you believe wedding etiquette still holds the same weight today, or is it time to rethink old traditions? We would love to hear your thoughts!
Netizens affirmed the author was not wrong and expressed their shock at the fact that the fiancée didn't know it wasn't appropriate to wear white to a wedding
