Reddit user Sands2019 and her husband wanted to feel that they were always open to one another, so they had an agreement — no locks in the house.
But when the man's brother came to stay with the couple, he quickly noticed this and began abusing his sister-in-law's lack of privacy.
He would constantly walk in on her exposed in the bathroom. What's even more strange, she got the feeling that her husband didn't take it seriously.
So the woman did the only thing that she thought could bring her peace. But the situation got even worse.
This couple had a rule to keep all the doors in their home unlocked
Image credits: Adrienn
But the man's creepy brother started abusing it whenever his wife was in the bathroom
Image credits: cottonbro (not the actual photo)
After her story went viral, the woman released an update
Image credits: Sands2019
It's important for couples to be on the same page about how to maintain a healthy relationship with their in-laws.
After all, as clinical sexologist and practicing psychotherapist Robert Weiss pointed out, marriage is not only a partnership between two people with mutually agreed-upon commitments and boundaries, it's also a union between two families.
If you're very, very lucky, everyone gets along fabulously, with shared values and the ability to accept and love every person exactly as they are at any given moment. But as we can see, that's not always the case.
However, as much as I hate to say it, it's not necessarily Sands2019's creepy brother-in-law's behavior that seems to be the biggest problem here. It's her husband's unwillingness to do anything about it. Or even to hear the woman out and acknowledge her feelings.
Couple's relationship coach in Fairmont, West Virginia, Cheri Timko, said that your significant other might not care a whole lot about you if they:
- don’t value mutuality in the relationship;
- fail to show any interest or curiosity in you or your life;
- have a different agenda for the relationship than you do;
- don’t ever seek you or your opinion out;
- ignore the impact of their actions on you;
- don’t respond to your requests to change their behavior.
Sadly, Sands2019's husband seems to tick at least a few of these.
Keeping ourselves in tune with our inner selves is really important for our well-being. Psychotherapist Amy Lewis Bear said emotions provide us with crucial information about ourselves and others. They are a valuable guidance and protection system that is essential in daily decision-making. The ability to express our feelings and have them validated allows us to be our true selves without the worry of rejection.
Emotional validation, according to the psychotherapist, is the core of a healthy relationship.
"People who have a pattern of denying their partner's feelings typically have a long-term psychological injury that causes inner shame, which is a deep sense of being inadequate," she explained. "When they listen to their partner's raw emotions, it can easily trigger painful feelings they have about themselves."
"Their shame drives a need to hide behind a façade. To maintain the façade, they try to achieve power over others to compensate for their sense of being defective. In doing so, they transfer their shame onto others."
Let's wish Sands2019 all the energy she needs to navigate this difficult period.
People on the internet have unanimously taken her side
