Even though favoritism is pretty common in families, it’s still an awful feeling to realize that your parents might prefer your sibling to you. They’re the proverbial golden child who can do nothing wrong. Meanwhile, you… well, you always seem to get the short end of the stick, don’t you?
Redditor u/MotorStraight8487, who constantly feels overshadowed by his younger sister, shared how she kept ‘claiming’ his gifts on Christmas and birthdays. So, to teach her a lesson, he decided to give her a taste of her own medicine on her birthday. However, this sparked massive drama in the family.
Check out the full story and the internet’s reactions below. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for further comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
It can be incredibly demotivating to learn that your parents prefer your sibling to you, letting them get away with practically anything
Image credits: Daniel Jurin / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One teen revealed how he'd had enough of his parents favoring his sister, so he finally decided to teach her a lesson using her own awful methods
Image credits: Nicole Michalou / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MotorStraight8487
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The reality is that, in most families, parents have a (secret) favorite child. This is awful for the second-best kid's mental health
The BBC reports that parental favoritism occurs in around two-thirds (65%) of families across many different cultures. It can be detrimental to kids’ wellbeing, leading to emotional problems, following them into adulthood as well.
“It is the experience that people have, that a parent prefers another child to them. This could be by devoting more time, attention, praise, or affection. Possibly asserting less control, so that they may enjoy fewer restrictions, be subject to less discipline, or even punishment,” explains Laurie Kramer, a professor of applied psychology at Northeastern University.
According to research, when you feel like you’re treated less warmly than your siblings, it can lead to:
- Lower self-esteem;
- Childhood anxiety;
- Depression;
- Behavioral problems, such as risky behavior.
Meanwhile, parental favoritism also seems to be a predictor of mobile phone addiction among teenagers. And favoritism of other siblings can lead to deteriorating family relationships.
Based on research published by the American Psychological Association, it’s very likely that your parents secretly had a favorite child. Broadly speaking, parents are more inclined to see their daughters as their favorites, as well as kids who are more agreeable and conscientious.
“For decades, researchers have known that differential treatment from parents can have lasting consequences for children.” Lead author Alexander Jensen, PhD, an associate professor at Brigham Young University, said that this favoritism can have upsides and downsides.
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Parents may tend to play favorites based on their kids' temperament
Children who were more responsible and organized seemed to be treated more favorably by their parents. This may in part be due to the fact that these kids are easier to manage. Plus, their responses can be more positive.
Meanwhile, parents were more likely to give older siblings more autonomy, as they tend to be more mature.
Kids who got less preferential treatment tended to have more strained family relationships and poorer mental health.
“Understanding these nuances can help parents and clinicians recognize potentially damaging family patterns. It is crucial to ensure all children feel loved and supported,” Jensen warned.
“It is important to note that this research is correlational, so it doesn’t tell us why parents favor certain children. However, it does highlight potential areas where parents may need to be more mindful of their interactions with their children,” the researcher said.
“So, the next time you’re left wondering whether your sibling is the golden child, remember there is likely more going on behind the scenes than just a preference for the eldest or youngest. It might be about responsibility, temperament, or just how easy or hard you are to deal with.”
What would you have done if you were in the teenager’s shoes and your sister constantly kept ‘claiming’ gifts meant for you? Have you ever felt like you were your parents’ favorite child, or were you always second-best to your brothers and sisters? Or did your parents give you and your siblings the same amount of warmth and attention?
If there are any parents reading this, what do you do to avoid favoritism among your kids? Let us know in the comments below.
As the story started to go viral, the teen began sharing more context about his family life
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