There’s no question that having a supportive family can greatly impact how a child grows up. Whether it’s coming from parents, grandparents or aunts and uncles, we all deserve to be loved and cherished. But is it actually necessary to have a close relationship with all of your relatives?
One man recently reached out to Reddit seeking advice after his sister began pressuring him to embrace the “fun uncle” role. But as someone who’s never liked kids, he was less than thrilled about this idea. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies readers shared.
It can be extremely exciting to watch your sibling become a parent
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But this man has absolutely no interest in being a father figure to his nephew
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: NotTheFunUncle
Having strong role models is very beneficial for children
Not everyone is able to grow up with a fun aunt or uncle. If your parents were only children or were estranged from their siblings, you might not know what it was like to have your mom’s cooler, younger sister fly in once a year and shower you with gifts. This relationship certainly isn’t necessary for a happy, healthy childhood. But it can be a nice bonus!
According to Dr. Axe, the quintessential qualities of a great uncle include being supportive, a great role model, lots of fun to hang out with, loving and caring. They should be involved in their niece’s and nephews’ lives and be a shoulder they can cry on during difficult times.
It’s extremely important for kids to have positive role models, as this can decrease a child’s negative behavior in school and help them grow into resilient adolescents and adults.
In fact, one study found that after fathers, step-fathers and brothers, uncles were the next most prominent role models that young males reported looking up to. Another study also revealed that having role models of the same gender can be especially important for young boys.
Unsurprisingly, father figures can also play a vital role in many children’s lives. Dads are often viewed as role models by their sons, and they can play a huge part in how sociable their sons are. Meanwhile, girls who grow up having a great relationship with their dad often have higher self-esteem and a greater sense of identity than those who weren’t close with their father.
Image credits: Toa Heftiba / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But plenty of kids grow up just fine without father figures
However, just because having a supportive father or uncle around is beneficial doesn’t mean that a child cannot grow up without those relationships. Researchers Timothy J. Biblarz and Judith Stacey were determined to find out how the gender of their parents impacts children. And they found that there was no difference in how kids of heterosexual parents and kids of lesbian parents were raised.
In fact, there were a few examples where children were more well adjusted after being raised by two mothers, with no father figure around. Meanwhile, the Pew Research Center reports that, in the United States, nearly a quarter of children live in single-parent households, often their mothers. Are we to assume that all of these children can’t have a healthy upbringing just because they don’t have a mother and father around?
The Good Men Project calls out the “myth of the father figure” on their site, noting that he can’t stand alone. Yes, it’s beneficial for boys to have strong male role models in their lives. But that shouldn’t take away from the importance that mothers, aunts and grandmothers play as well.
“We cannot create better men by trying to find the holy grail aka perfect father figure and let him do the miracle. We have to rethink our relationships altogether. With ourselves and with our men,” The Good Men Project explains. “And men need to understand that the relationship with their sons is only one of many they have. With themselves, with women, with other men. It all matters.”
Children need love and support, period. Whether that’s coming from two moms, two dads or a mother and a father shouldn't make a difference. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation below, pandas. Then, you can find another article discussing father figures right here!
Many readers agreed that the author isn't obligated to embrace the "fun uncle" role
However, some thought that the man was being unfair
