Weddings are essentially a powder keg of emotions dressed up in floral arrangements and open bars. Everyone has an opinion, someone is always on the verge of tears, and the smallest thing can set off a chain reaction of backlash. Add family dynamics, body image, and a seating chart into the mix and you have all the ingredients for a very memorable evening that nobody actually wanted to remember.
One 19-year-old showed up to her brother's wedding wearing the exact dress the bride had personally chosen for her, and somehow still managed to end up sitting outside with the smokers before the night was over. When the truth finally came out, things got much darker.
More info: Reddit
Weddings are a powder keg of emotions at the best of times, always one misstep away from imploding
Image credits: Flowo / Freepik (not the actual photo)
A bride helped pick out her SIL’s dress, approved the Doc Martens, and approved her piercings, which made what happened at the reception considerably more confusing
Image credits: ArthurHidden / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her brother told her to change or leave; she left, and a month later, nobody had fully explained what the actual problem was
Image credits: Micah & Sammie Chaffin / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
In an update, she revealed that a guest had touched her inappropriately all evening, and she had finally told him where to go, and that was the scene her brother had decided to remove her for
Image credits: SuddenSlipDress
Her brother also overheard two men using disgusting language about his teenage sister, and decided that she was the one who needed to leave the wedding
When the narrator’s soon-to-be SIL, Jess, found out that she hated wearing dresses, she stepped in and helped pick something that would actually work for her. Dark green with black lace, spaghetti straps, Doc Martens, piercings left in. The sister looked at herself in the mirror and, for the first time in a long time, actually liked what she saw. Everything was fine right up until the reception.
Her brother appeared and told her she needed to change because Jess was upset about being upstaged. She pointed out, reasonably, that Jess had picked the dress. He told her to change or leave. She left and spent the rest of the evening outside with considerably better company. A month later, her brother was still furious, Jess seemed annoyed, and an aunt was even making comments about it online.
Then came the update that reframed everything. A cousin's boyfriend had touched her inappropriately throughout the evening. She eventually snapped, told him where to go, and pushed him away. An aunt reported to her brother that the OP had pushed the cousin's boyfriend. Her brother then overheard the same man calling her derogatory names, and his response was to decide that she needed to leave.
As for Jess, she had overheard someone compliment the dress and started crying, probably because she was overwhelmed and stressed. The brother had conflated the two situations and used Jess's emotional state as the excuse to remove his sister from the wedding. The sister had been touched inappropriately, defended herself, and was then ejected while her harasser stayed and enjoyed the rest of the evening.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Weddings really do bring out the worst in everyone. The Life Change Index Scale ranks marriage sixth with a score of 50 out of 100. That means the happiest day of your life is also, scientifically speaking, one of the most stressful. When you factor in all the pressures of a wedding day, it becomes easy to understand why things could go awry. It does not, however, explain what happened to this young woman.
What happened to her is 100% victim-blaming. She was physically touched inappropriately by a guest at her brother's wedding, defended herself, and was removed from the venue while her assailant remained. The focus shifted entirely onto her behavior, her dress, her reaction, and the scene she supposedly caused, rather than onto the man who had spent the evening putting his hands on her without her consent.
“Men Who Hate Women” author Laura Bates, makes an important point about the language we use when talking about these situations. Softening the description of what happened with "sensitive" words sends a dangerous message. What happened to her was a crime. Using softer language to describe it does not change what it was; it just makes it easier for everyone around her to dismiss it.
Her brother heard two men use vile language about his teenage sister and decided she should be the one to leave. That is the sentence that the internet cannot move past, and honestly, it is hard to argue with them.
How do you think this sister needs to approach the topic with her family? Share some advice in the comments!
The internet read the update and the conversation shifted entirely; it went from a dress dispute to something considerably more serious that nobody in that venue handled correctly
