Parenting doesn’t come with an instruction manual, and if you’re a parent, you’ve probably regretted saying or doing something you shouldn’t have. In fact, as a parent, you have to get used to offering a few apologies now and then.
Whether it’s to your partner or your child, we’ve all had to make amends in one way or another. After all, we’re human, we’re flawed, and we make mistakes. But in today’s story, apologies don’t really cut it. What started as a major shock ended with a kid being suspended from school, all because he took his own dad’s advice, and the result is a whirlwind of a moral dilemma all around.
Read more: Reddit
As adults, we always expect our advice to be helpful to kids, but sometimes things go the exact opposite way from we had planned
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Magnific (not the actual photo)
A sick kid was in recovery from two surgeries in a row, and for some time, he wasn't allowed to play any sports or overexert himself in any way
Image credits: rawpixel.com / Magnific (not the actual photo)
So when the boy was finally cleared from recovery, he asked his dad if he was allowed to fight back against a kid who had been bullying him
Image credits: freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Not expecting such a question, the dad said yes, but he didn't think his kid was being fully serious until his brother confirmed he truly was being bullied
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The next morning, the mom called her husband, telling him to pick up their son, who was suspended for three days after punching his bully
Image credits: OdinsBHole
The dad knew he shouldn't have given that piece of advice, but then the son became very popular in his class, despite having social anxiety
This story is told by the Original Poster (OP), a concerned dad who ended up questioning his own actions. As he explains, his son was born with pectus excavatum, a condition that causes the chest to be sunken. Because of this, he underwent surgery, but after play-fighting with his friends, he ended up needing a second operation. He was then given a period during which he wasn't allowed to overexert himself.
Once those restrictions were lifted, his son approached him and said that a boy from his class had been bullying and hitting him for months. He asked if he could defend himself, and believing his child wouldn't actually go through with it, or that it was simply a question asked out of frustration, the dad told him to absolutely knock the kid out. Even so, he later spoke to his older son, who was also in the bully's class.
After asking his eldest about what had been happening, the dad learned that his younger son had been getting hit in the head every day by a bully. The older brother had chosen not to intervene so he could teach him to stand up for himself. The OP then asked him to keep an eye on his younger brother and make sure things didn't get too serious. Before any of that could happen, however, he got a phone call.
It turned out that his son had punched the bully in the face at school after warning him to stop. When the bully didn't listen, the boy defended himself, and the school promptly suspended him for three days. This shocked the dad because he hadn't expected things to escalate that far, but ultimately, he was proud of his son. The boy, meanwhile, had no regrets, and he ended up becoming quite popular in class afterward.
Image credits: rawpixel.com / Magnific (not the actual photo)
There's a lot to unpack here. While many may believe the school suspended the wrong kid, most schools have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to violence. Research has shown that these strict policies often end up affecting the child defending themselves rather than the bully. This is because if staff witness only one student hurting another, that student is blamed without consideration of context.
Unfortunately, this problem remains far too common and normalized around the world. According to studies, 1 in 5 students in the United States between the ages of 12 and 18 has reported being the victim of bullying. A large number of those students have also reported that, in recent years, bullying has extended into the digital world, with online platforms becoming a tool for hurting others.
It's a deeply flawed system that often fails to account for nuance. And honestly, it can be difficult for a parent to decide on the right course of action in a situation like this. However, when a child is being bullied, many experts recommend that parents immediately contact the school's principal or another responsible adult to assess and address the situation rather than encouraging their child to fight back with violence.
With the full context in mind, however, many netizens praised the dad for allowing his son to stand up for himself and instead criticized the school's handling of the situation. Many argued that the bully had it coming and that the OP's words gave the boy the confidence to defend himself and end the problem. So, what do you think would have been the best approach here? Fight back or tell an adult?
Netizens, on the other hand, gave props to the dad for allowing the kid to defend himself, all while blaming the school for punishing the wrong child
