Getting picked on as a kid can imprint itself on people’s memories, affecting how they feel about themselves and others. That’s why many adults tend to regress or lose it if they meet their childhood bully by accident, as it can be very traumatic.
This is exactly what a man faced when he found out that his fiancée was not only spending time with his high school tormentor, but that she had also been intimate with him before. Things escalated even further when the man learned just how much his partner had kept secret.
More info: Reddit
Regardless of how much time has passed, people might struggle to accept that their childhood bully has changed
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The poster shared that when he was in high school, he got tormented very often by a popular kid named Chris and his friends
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Even though the man couldn’t do much about his high school bully problem, when he went to college, things improved, and that's when he connected with his fiancée, Becca
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The poster and Becca had been together for over seven years, and during that time, she and her best friend, Daria, started an event management business
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The problems began when Becca and Daria signed a new client who turned out to be Chris, which left the poster shocked and angry
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Things turned sour once Daria began dating Chris, and the poster found out that they had dated before, and also both had been intimate with Becca many years ago
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The heartbroken man confronted his partner and told her to cut contact with Chris as he was a “snake,” but Becca refused, stating that he had changed
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In an update post, the man mentioned that he was having regular fights with his fiancée about Chris, and that one day she left to stay with her sister
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What shocked the poster was when Daria suddenly met him and told him that Becca had been doubting their relationship and had been flirty with Chris before
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The poster also learned that his fiancée had been so hung up on Chris that she had shown up at his place drunk and tried to make moves on him
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Eventually, the man left Becca and only saw her a while later when he lost his mom, but he ended up blocking her after realizing she was pretending everything was okay
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The man tried his best to pick up the pieces of his life by moving to the East Coast, joining a volleyball league, and focusing on work
When the poster was in high school, he was a quiet, awkward kid, which unfortunately led to him being bullied by a group of popular kids. This torment and oppression became so embarrassing and difficult for him that he was glad when he went to college, and things started to improve.
What most folks don’t realize is that bullying can have quite a severe physical and emotional impact on children. According to research, it can negatively impact kids’ self-esteem, making them feel insecure or embarrassed about being treated differently from others, or not having enough social support.
Eventually, the man was able to move past his difficult childhood experiences and really bloom in college, which helped him grow as a person and also connect with his fiancée, Becca. What the OP didn’t realize was that his partner was in touch with his high school bully, Chris, and had been intimate with him before.
Although it might seem bizarre for people to blatantly lie or keep major secrets from their loved ones, experts explain that they might do so to protect the relationship or themselves. Unfortunately, this can put a lot of pressure on couples when the lies eventually come to light, and can make people mistrust each other.
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The problem wasn’t that Becca had booked a deal with Chris; it was also that she kept insisting on the fact that he had changed. Despite her beliefs, the OP knew his bully was still the same because the other man had used his old rude nickname and kept saying insensitive things when the women weren’t around.
Even when the man confronted his partner about it, she always took Chris’s side, which made the OP feel a bit suspicious. Unfortunately, he learned the truth behind Becca’s behavior after her best friend revealed that she had a crush on Chris and had even gone to his house to try to flirt with him.
When a person gets to know that their loved one has been unfaithful to them, it can be devastating. That’s why relationship experts explain that it’s best to get some distance from the cheater and to focus on yourself for a while. In extreme cases, where it might be tough to move on, one can also seek professional help.
Luckily, the poster decided to move on from his toxic relationship with Becca and to heal from her manipulation. He even ended up blocking her a few weeks later when he realized she wasn't sorry for her actions and was trying to pretend everything was okay. Hopefully, this clean break from his ex helped make him feel better and healed his wounds of betrayal.
How would you have handled this situation if you were in the OP’s shoes? We’d love to hear your opinion on this post.
People were shocked by Becca’s behavior and were glad that the man broke things off with her
