Many people, unfortunately, grow up in abusive households. In most cases, their family seems to fail to realize the impact of their actions and how they affect the person in the long term.
A woman endured lifelong unfair treatment from her immediate relatives, having to support them fully and not have it reciprocated. The last straw for her came when she prepared well-thought-out Christmas gifts for everyone and received nothing of substance in return.
Tired and fed up, she contemplates canceling holiday celebrations and possibly cutting ties with her family. Scroll down to read the entire story.
Some family members can be emotionally abusive and neglectful
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This woman had endured lifelong unfair treatment from her family, and she has had enough
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Fed up from how she’s been treated, she plans to cancel Christmas celebrations and distance herself completely
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Some people may be prone to abuse because of their personalities
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The author painted a picture of her personality, and she seems like a responsible person, to a fault.
She hosts grand parties for everyone to make them feel loved and welcome, even if she doesn’t receive the same treatment. She exerted a large chunk of her time and effort to maintain a warm and harmonious relationship, which was often thankless.
According to author and psychotherapist Dr. Avery Neal, such a trait makes someone prone to abuse. In an article for the American Counseling Association, Dr. Neal explained that people who take on more than their fair share of responsibility tend to be exploited by loved ones. It applies to familial and romantic relationships.
Empathy is an excellent trait, but having too much of it has downsides. As Dr. Neal explains, highly empathetic people will most likely give in after standing up for themselves when their abusers begin the guilt trip.
“A person’s greatest strength can also be their greatest weakness, and this is certainly the case with empathy,” she wrote.
The author seemed too understanding towards her family without thinking about herself, which is likely why they didn’t take her concerns seriously when she confronted them.
When your pleas fall on deaf ears, it may be time to cut ties with abusive family members
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Despite the long-term abuse she endured from her family, the author remains uncertain about whether or not she should maintain a relationship with them. She’s already stated her case, yet she remains to be ignored.
According to licensed therapist Dr. Claire Jack, these are clear signs that she should cut contact with her abusive relatives.
“These people are never going to see your point of view or admit any of their shortfalls,” Dr. Jack wrote in an article for Psychology Today.
Based on her story, the author doesn’t seem to be gaining anything positive from her relationship with her family. In such cases, Dr. Jack advises weighing the pros and cons; if the latter bears more weight, it may be time to go without contact.
“You have a right to lead a happy life and to distance yourself from people—no matter who they are—who act in an abusive manner towards you,” she says.
At this point, it may be healthier for the woman to keep her distance from everyone. She has done more than enough to show them her love and care. It won't be easy because it still involves family, but it may be for the best.
Readers didn’t hold back with their comments, as the author responded to some questions
