There's a right time for everything in life. It's perfectly okay to be unable to walk at one year old, unable to read at five, and considered a golden child by your entire family and other relatives at ten. But how appropriate is it to still be a golden child at 36?
The author of our story today has a cousin who, for as long as he can remember, has tried to teach him various “life lessons.” Yet, as he now realizes, he's achieved far more in life than she has. And a recent family gathering became a reality check of sorts for his cousin – a very, very painful one.
More info: Reddit
Being a golden child at 10 is quite obvious, yet dubious, but staying a golden child at 36 is, well, quite unreasonable
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The author of the post is 30 years old, and he recently earned his PhD, despite having a learning disability
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The man was very proud of himself, and he realized that he really deserved all the relatives' congratulations during a family gathering
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However, the author's elder, jobless cousin, despite living off her parents, decided to teach him some life lessons
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The man honestly admits that he's had enough of her arrogance and entitlement, so he snapped when she started lecturing him in public
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The man noted that the cousin is still jobless and lives with her parents, so he doesn't actually need her "valuable" lessons
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The cousin and her parents stormed out of the house, and the man then took heat from his mom for being "rude"
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The man, however, made amends with his mom soon after, but his aunt and uncle then squandered all their savings in an attempt to enroll their daughter in Harvard's PhD program
So, the original poster (OP) is now 30 years old and recently received his PhD, which actually fills his heart with pride, especially considering he's always had a learning disability. But our hero overcame all obstacles, and when the entire extended family gathered around the table to honor him, he knew he had earned these congratulations.
Perhaps only one person at the table didn't share these feelings – the author's cousin, "Jane," who, at 36 years old, lived with her parents and was unemployed but had an enormous ego, actively inflated by her parents since her childhood. Jane always loved to tell stories about how she turned down job offers from Google and whatnot, but such bragging was tolerated in the family.
And so, after several unsuccessful attempts to steal the spotlight at the table, Jane decided to take direct action. She addressed our hero directly and began loudly offering him "valuable" career advice, claiming that if he followed it, he would become almost as successful as she was. Here’s where the author's patience snapped.
He sarcastically replied that if her definition of “success” meant being an unemployed loser at 36, living off her parents, then thank God, he didn't need such advice. Everyone around him was stunned. Jane burst into tears and stormed out of the house, followed by her parents, and the author's mom lashed out with reproaches. However, the author's father was completely on his side.
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While being a favorite of one's parents and extended family may be easy and pleasant in childhood, later, even if this attitude persists, people begin to experience problems in adulthood.
For example, this article by the BBC reasonably claims that adult "golden children" often suffer from perfectionism, fear making mistakes, and have difficulty accepting any criticism. They also sometimes feel they always have to "earn" love – not only from their parents, but also from colleagues, bosses, and friends.
Mark Travers, PhD, in his article in Psychology Today, describes the "golden child" as a kind of "window dressing" for the family – often a narcissistic and immature one. The result of this process can be either perfectionist burnout or covert self-sabotage. In other words, a person may unconsciously ruin their own life just to shed unrealistic expectations.
It's quite possible that something similar happened to the OP's cousin. While the man reconciled with his mom after a heart-to-heart talk, his aunt and uncle later squandered their savings in a futile pursuit of his achievements. For some reason, they decided that Jane then needed a PhD from Harvard, but instead found some fraudster who promised to help them and then disappeared with the money.
People in the comments were simply stunned by the turn of events in this story – both the arrogance of Jane and her parents, and their gullibility in losing money in a fruitless "competition" with the original poster. By the way, dear readers, have you ever encountered anything similar? If so, please feel free to share your own stories in the comments below.
Most commenters were just baffled at the author's relatives' arrogance and outright insanity, and just praised him for giving his cousin a reality check
