Having a roommate can be both a fun and horrible experience, depending on what kind of person that roommate is. Some people make lifelong friendships with people who live with them. Yet, not everyone is so lucky -- some get such flawed roommates that they want to run away from them as quickly as possible.
Like today’s OP, who got an autistic roommate. The autism wasn’t the problem, but her using it as an excuse to not do chores she used to do very successfully before was. And so, the unwillingness to be a caretaker for someone else quickly drove the woman out of the room.
More info: Reddit
While some people end up with amazing roommates who end up being lifelong friends, others aren't that lucky
Image credits: Zen Chung (not the actual photo)
A woman's autistic roommate was babied by people at the college, which resulted in her not taking care of herself and justifying it with the fact that she's on the spectrum
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The roommate expected the woman to do all the chores for her, like picking up her clothes, cooking, and cleaning
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
But she, knowing the girl used to do it all herself before everyone started coddling her, refused to do so
Image credits: u/fishnile
This resulted in her being viewed as an uncompassionate jerk by various people in her life
Today’s OP is a college student who lived in a room with an autistic roommate, dubbed Sarah in the story. Autism is a lifelong neurological and developmental disorder that typically affects how people communicate, learn, and behave. It is known to be a spectrum, as there are many variations of symptoms people can experience.
Since Sarah is on the spectrum, many people in college, including professors, gave her special treatment. Also, they expected her roommate to be the caregiver.
The problem for the woman arose when Sarah started acting like she needed a caretaker as well. She started leaving clothes everywhere and asked the OP to cook for her and clean up after her. Anytime the OP confronted her about it, she used autism as an excuse.
As we emphasized before, this disorder is a spectrum, which means that some autistic individuals need help in their daily lives nearly all the time, but some just need occasional help, and others can live fully independently.
The help that an autistic person needs also varies. Some need help with chores or studying, while others might struggle with communication. So, for example, learning how to communicate on their terms can be a form of help. It includes stuff like trying to talk in a literal and concise way, taking time to listen to what they have to say, and not talking to them like they’re a baby who doesn’t understand anything.
Patience and compassion can also be needed when interacting with an autistic individual. Some of them might struggle with identifying certain social norms, which can result in some unconventional situations. So, being compassionate and guiding them through life, which is already hard enough for a neurotypical person who doesn't have a disorder, is something everyone should strive to do.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Yet, the problem the author had in helping her autistic roommate was she knew that she used to be able to take care of herself. This incompetence only started when everyone started babying her. So, since the woman didn’t want to be another person coddling an autistic roomie with low support needs, she stopped her caregiving “service.”
This resulted in backlash from many people in her life. So, the woman turned to Reddit to ask the good old question: “Am I the jerk?” And the majority of people there answered that she was not. They understood where the author was coming from and didn’t blame her for refusing to be a caretaker for a person she was assigned to live with.
Instead, they blamed others for babying Sarah, thus giving her the idea that she could get out of certain responsibilities. Some netizens even suggested the OP talk to the college's administration about the possibility of getting another room.
A bit later, in the edit of the post, the original poster revealed that she, in fact, got another room. Ironically, of all the people who yapped about how the author should be helping Sarah, none of them wanted to be her replacement roommate. This just shows how simple it is to tell people what to do when you don’t have to do it yourself, doesn’t it?
Well, let's just hope that they ended up finding someone who was willing to live with her. And, of course, that OP found a roommate that she liked and didn't have to take care of against her will. Or, at least, that this situation worked as a lesson for everyone, especially those babying a grown woman.
Yet people online didn't agree with this sentiment and dubbed everyone else in the story jerks
