In an article I read a couple of years ago, I came across a very paradoxical statement: "The paternity test, which has ruined so many families and lives throughout decades of its existence." I don't remember exactly what that article was about - but I remember well my surprise at such wording. After all, it's not the paternity test that destroys families, but human infidelity and anger.
Why did I remember this? Well, because here is today's story about approximately the same thing - how a guy secretly did a paternity test for his 5YO son only to find out that the child was not his, and that five years ago, his wife had what she called 'a one-night stand...'
More info: Reddit
The author of the post recently did a paternity test for his 5YO son - and it exposed that he's not the father
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The couple had been together for 9 years, with 6 years married - but the man decided to file for divorce on the spot
Image credits: throwaway47261717
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman confessed that it was 'a one-night stand' after a big argument they had years ago - but nothing more
Image credits: throwaway47261717
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The man was adamant - he decided to cut contact both with the woman and the boy
Image credits: throwaway47261717
Most of the relatives sided with the author, but his ex's sister called him out for being a 'weak, pathetic man'
So, there lived two spouses, almost a decade together, six years of which they had been married, they had a son, 5 years old. At some point, the Original Poster (OP) began to suspect that the son was not his. We don't know what exactly was going on - maybe the boy was growing up quite differently than he expected - but the guy started to worry, and secretly did a DNA test. And he learned the most unsightly truth...
When the enraged husband came home with the test results, the wife first tried to deny it, but then confessed to infidelity. But this, according to her own words, happened only once - right after some serious argument between the spouses. The woman, as she says, never saw that dude again.
According to the wife, she saw how happy her husband was about the birth of their son, what a good father he was, and she was afraid that confession would ruin their family. Well, it turned out that the end of this story was only postponed. The original poster declared that he was filing for divorce, and that he didn't want to have anything to do with either her or her son.
No pleas, no admonitions from the wife had any effect on the man. He left and, in a wave of anger, told literally all his relatives and friends about what happened. According to the OP, the vast majority of the relatives supported him - even his wife's parents, who, as the man writes, even decided to cut contact with the daughter.
The only ones who sided with the author's soon-to-be-ex were her brother and sister, who scolded the OP for taking it public and 'humiliating his wife and son.' To this, the author replied that he doesn't have a son.
And he said the same to his SIL, who called him a 'weak, pathetic man.' Well, soon after that, the author even called the SIL's husband and angrily declared that everyone in their family is the same, so that guy should also be wary of adultery.
Now the original poster is waiting for the divorce proceedings to begin and doesn't want to have anything to do with the woman who was by his side for nine years, nor with the child whom he had been raising for his entire life - and who turned out not to be his blood. But the man also decided to enlist the support of netizens at this difficult moment in his life.
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
An ambiguous story, isn't it? And most of all, to be honest, it's the child who is most pitiful here - since he, honestly, isn't guilty of anything. "Of course, adultery is an absolute reason for any spouses to dissolve their marriage, no matter how many years together are behind them. So here this man can easily be understood," says Maria Kryvosheeva, a psychologist and NLP coach, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here.
"But there are nuances in the other two aspects of this particular situation. Firstly, it was not worth bringing this out into the public eye. Rage and pain are not the best advisers in any situation, even as difficult as this one."
"Secondly, the child. I can't believe that a man whom his wife called 'a good father' can just turn away from a kid who loved him, considering him his own dad. Try explaining to a 5YO all the intricacies of relationships between adults. This can cause the boy serious trauma in the future. So counseling - at least from the point of view of how not to harm the child - will definitely not be superfluous here," Maria ponders.
People in the comments to the original post were also very divided. No, in everything that concerns cheating and divorce, the responders are sure that the author did the right thing. "I don’t believe it was a one-night stand. It was probably an affair. Anyway you’re right not to stay with a cheater," some person suspected quite reasonably.
But as for the feelings and life of the little boy, here the commenters mainly condemned the OP for his decision to cut contact. "How easy it was to walk away from a child who was your son for 5 years," another responder asks a rhetorical question. And what do you, our dear readers, think about this story? Do DNA tests destroy families and human lives - or do people deal with it themselves?
People in the comments were very divided - they feel the man did the right thing by breaking up, but was in the wrong since the kid wasn't actually guilty here
