Everyone wants to know that no matter what comes their way, their family will be by their side. The problem is that some folks aren’t so lucky to have this kind of support. Instead, they might find themselves in a one-sided relationship with relatives who expect them to put in all the effort.
This is what one woman faced after moving out of her small town, only to realize that her family wasn’t keeping her in the loop anymore. She eventually treated them the same way and kept them in the dark about her life-changing news.
More info: Reddit
When loved ones stop making an effort or don’t seem to care anymore, this can be a painful situation to be in
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the poster was in college, she moved to a place in the city that was two hours away from her hometown, and she always made an effort to connect with her family
Image credits: tsyhun / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After a while, the poster noticed that her family stopped inviting her to get-togethers or even getting her gifts for Christmas
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The worst experience was when the woman’s mother “forgot” to tell her about the loss of her grandfather, and she found out four days later when she went to her hometown
Image credits: New Africa / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Eventually, the woman decided to do the same thing to her family, so when she got pregnant, she didn’t tell anyone, and her mom got to know much later through social media
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster’s mom tried to convince her to move back home and raise the child, but the pregnant woman refused, saying that she was already settled in the city
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The pregnant woman also kept the news of her delivery from her mom and told her a week later, which upset the older woman since she didn’t want to miss such a milestone
Image credits: Guilty_Signal_9853
The poster also set boundaries with her mom and told her how exhausting it was to make all the effort to meet and stay in touch, while they did nothing
Right after the poster moved out of her hometown, she made sure to keep in touch with her family members. She would always go back home for celebrations or birthdays, and call or text them during the week. Even if they came to visit her, she would take them out to do things in the city, all on her own dime.
When people are living away from their loved ones like this, experts share that it’s always great to keep in touch by calling, texting, or paying a visit. It’s also important for the relationship not to get too one-sided, where just one person is making all of the effort while the other individuals are coasting.
It seems like this is exactly what happened with the OP and her family because slowly they stopped inviting her to events and even “forgot” to get her Christmas gifts. When the woman realized that her loved ones weren’t even putting in a bit of effort for her and her husband, she decided to match their energy.
In situations like this, it can be painful to observe how one-sided a family relationship has become, and professionals share that, unfortunately, people might have to accept it. The problem is that some folks are so used to other people doing everything for them that they might not even realize that friendship or love is a two-way street.
Image credits: teksomolika / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The most painful experience the poster had was when her grandfather fell ill and her mother did not think to inform her about his loss. The OP only found out about it when she went back to her hometown to visit and learned that they were planning his funeral. Obviously, this must have been heartbreaking for her, but her mother didn’t seem to understand her pain.
That’s when the woman decided to take revenge on her low-effort family, and when she got pregnant, she kept the news from them. Only after she reached her second trimester did she post the news online, and that’s how her mother learned about it, which left her feeling infuriated.
According to mental health professionals, when a person is dealing with toxic family members, they might want to get back at them, but sometimes the best thing to do is to just get some space. This can be done with the help of the ‘gray rock’ method, where a person keeps all interactions with the toxic individual to a minimum instead of cutting them off.
The poster probably wanted to hurt her family members as much as they hurt her, which is why she purposely shut them out of her and her baby’s life. Eventually, her mom seemed to get the message, and she tearfully tried to apologize to the OP for her actions.
What do you think about the pregnant woman’s revenge tactics? We’d love to hear your honest thoughts and opinions.
Folks were glad that the woman finally set boundaries with her family and stopped overextending herself for people who weren’t doing the same
