Group trips are super fun as you get to be around people you like and do interesting things together. Traveling like this with friends and loved ones can only work well if everyone is on the same page and makes a few compromises so that nobody feels burdened or left out.
Unfortunately, this didn’t happen on a trip where a child-free lady got mad at her friends for bringing their toddler along as they couldn’t find a last-minute babysitter. She had previously agreed to the kid being there, then later changed her mind.
More info: Reddit
Some people don’t like having little kids around, especially when they want to just hang out with their friends
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that their friend group had decided to take a 5-day trip together and that only a single dad’s kid and their toddler would be allowed along
Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One of their friends who didn’t like kids, Zoe, reluctantly agreed to their children coming along but changed her mind when the single dad said his child wouldn’t be coming
Image credits: Nataliya Vaitkevich / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, the poster and his wife couldn’t find a last-minute babysitter, so they brought their son along and tried to keep him away from Zoe as much as possible
Image credits: Plastic_Tea2094
Zoe still complained about the arrangements, blocked them on social media, and said that they ruined her trip
For starters, it's interesting to note is that the child-free friend, Zoe, openly avoided kids, and the people in her life knew that she didn’t like children. Despite that, they often felt that she took her distaste a bit too far and made things difficult for other people who had little ones.
To understand more about people who choose not to have kids, Bored Panda reached out to Kristen Tsetsi, author of the childfree-informed novel ‘The Age Of The Child.’ She said: “of course, all child-free people don't hate or dislike children. Unfortunately, if there's one rude person, people use them as a representative sample of an entire group.”
We also asked Katrin Berndt for her opinion on the situation. She’s an online Swedish teacher and language content creator who made a video on being child-free by choice. She told us that “it doesn't matter if it's based on this story or reality, of course, not all child-free people hate or dislike kids. That's a ridiculous statement. Some do, some don't.”
“I'd say the majority probably don't, but a lot of us do dislike the concept of children and prefer not to spend time with them. It has little to nothing to do with the children themselves. Children are very much allowed to exist and be just that: children. It's not wrong to not enjoy the concept of kids, just like we don't expect everyone to love animals or drunk people,” she explained.
Even though Zoe disliked kids she had agreed that it was okay if her friends’ two young children were being brought on the trip. Unfortunately, when one man’s child fell ill, and he couldn’t bring her along, Zoe immediately expected the OP and his wife to find a sitter for their son. She didn’t realize that they would have a tough time doing so.
Kristen Tsetsi weighed in and said: “I think the couple with the child was right. They'd already planned to bring their child on the trip. The friend was needlessly rude about it. There's no reason to believe that if she loved children, she wouldn't behave the same way in other areas of her life if her expectations or desires weren't met.”
Katrin Berndt mentioned that the “child-free woman acted in a very immature way. I get that she might have had thoughts and opinions about the situation, and sure, when the possibility of a child-free trip reappeared in her mind, bringing the child ‘ruined’ that for her all over again. It's fine to have those thoughts, but keep them to yourself.”
“She needs to grow up and take responsibility for her preferences. If it was agreed upon that children were welcome, she can't just switch sides days before. I think most child-free people understand that parents need to plan ahead and can't just be spontaneous all the time. Which is why a lot of us choose not to have them (among other reasons, of course, haha),” she added.
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s clear that Zoe didn’t want any kids to be brought along on the trip, so she jumped at the chance of being able to just hang out with her friends. Sadly, she didn’t communicate well with the OP and his wife, so she spent the entire vacation fuming and getting annoyed.
Kristen told us that “both could respect each other and ask what their expectations are, what the realities are, and what each is comfortable accepting. Most child-free people don't hate kids (which is not to say we're required to want to be around them), and most people call others their friends because they love and care about them, so they have mutual respect for each other and their comfort zones.”
The OP’s son and Zoe were around each other a total of four times during the trip. The parents made sure to keep the kid away from her and were intensely aware of her discomfort. Despite that, she blocked them on social media, and got extremely angry with the whole situation.
Katrin weighed on this, saying” “honestly, I think most parents understand that kids can be a lot. Sure, there are parents who just cannot wrap their heads around why others wouldn't want to hang out with their kids, but a lot of parents need a break from their own kids from time to time, too! So just being open and honest about it and saying you'd rather hang out without kids is perfectly fine!”
“As a child-free friend, you have to be very patient. If you're determined to keep the friendship going, you can, but some friends are also just in your life for a season. That season might be over. Or perhaps they'll come back to you once their kids are older and they have more time.”
“We choose not to have children for a lot of reasons related to freedom, flexibility, spontaneity, economy, and so on. That means we understand that those who do have children don't have all the same options that we do. The woman in this story acted like she didn't understand that whatsoever, which is silly,” Katrin mentioned.
Friendship is all about understanding and being there for one another even when the situation is difficult. In this case, the OP probably realized that Zoe wasn’t such a good friend and that she couldn’t adjust to their needs at all.
Who do you think was right in this situation? What would you have done if you were the poster?
Most people felt that Zoe was being unreasonable and not a good friend to the couple
