Fairness is one of the most important aspects of any workplace. If people think that their boss openly favors some employees over others, for whatever reason, it’s going to breed resentment and tension at the office. Not only that, the coworkers themselves are probably going to mistrust each other. And good luck getting any proper work done in that environment.
TikToker Evie, @evmariexo, has been widely praised on the platform and in the media after sharing a video about her experience at work, refusing to swap time off with a colleague of hers who had kids and wanted to take them on holiday. In the video, she detailed how everything happened. Scroll down for the full viral video. Bored Panda has reached out to Evie via Instagram, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
Taking time off can cause some unintentional drama in the workplace. Especially between child-free coworkers and those with kids
Image credits: DC_Studio (not the actual photo)
One TikToker said that parents shouldn't have priority when picking their vacation days
Image credits: evmariexo
Many TikTokers started stitching the clip featuring their experiences with entitled coworkers with kids. Evie went viral after sharing her workplace story
Image credits: evmariexo
So I used to work at this place, and I had moved across state to work at this place. And I worked with this woman, let's call her Karen, who had two kids. And I also just want to mention that, until this incident, me and her had gotten along perfectly fine. So that year, I knew that I wanted to go home for, like, the week or so of Christmas break. I wanted to see my family, I was homesick. And I put in for leave for that week, like, months in advance, literally months. And I had also sent my boss like multiple emails throughout the month, just to remind him that this was happening.
Image credits: evmariexo
And I was like 'mhmm'.
Image credits: evmariexo
And I was like, "You know what, Bob, I did what you said, I've searched my heart. And it turns out that there is nothing in my heart that's going to make me willing to give her my week." No, but for real though, I was like, "Bob, I literally put in for this, like, months in advance. I have people, my family is expecting me." And he's like, "I know, I know. I know."
He was like, "I was just really hoping that you would just be willing to give it to her so she could spend time with her kids."
Image credits: evmariexo
I was like, "Did she even put in for this?" And he's like, "No, she literally talked to me about it this morning." 48 hours before. The break was supposed to start in 48 hours.
And I was like, "Listen, I'm sorry. It sucks that she's not going to get to take her kids to Disney World. But I'm not giving her my week. I'm sorry." And he was big, 'dad' disappointed. He was like, "Okay. Well, you're gonna have to go out there and you're gonna have to tell Karen that she can't take her kids to Disney World. You're gonna have to tell her." And I was like, "Okay".
Image credits: evmariexo
Image credits: evmariexo
And she got so mad, you guys, the entitlement was unreal.
She was like, "You don't understand. I need to spend time with my children. I have children, they need to see their mother." And I was like, "Karen, I hear you." I was like, "But I haven't seen my family in a year, you live with your kids. You see them every day."
She was like, "You have no idea what it's like, you have no idea how I feel right now," and she actually started to cry. She just kept saying, "You have no idea what it's like to have children. You have no idea what it's like to love like this." And I was like, "I don't know. I mean, I love my parents a lot."
Image credits: evmariexo
So she was like, "You won't know unless you experience it." And I was like, "You know what, Karen, that's probably true, but I am about to experience this vacation. See you in a week."
Evie's video was watched over 10.4 million times. You can see it in full right over here
The woman's story resonated with millions of people on the internet
Evie’s video made a huge splash both on TikTok, as well as in the media. It was watched over 10.4 million times, got 1.3 million likes, and started a discussion about how child-free employees are sometimes treated in the workplace.
It feels entirely unfair that someone who either doesn’t have kids or chooses not to would have to sacrifice their planned time off for someone with kids who couldn’t manage to take the time off properly. It also seems very unfair that a boss who appears to value families with children so much wouldn’t just give both of his employees the time off. The long and short of it is that nobody should be forced to give up their vacation to make room for someone else’s.
However, Evie’s colleague, who wanted to take her kids to Disney World, actually had the gall to get mad at her for refusing to switch time off. Her entitlement was through the roof. But it also echoes some people’s thoughts that people without children ‘don’t have it as hard’ as those raising their munchkins, so they should be willing to be more flexible with their vacation time. Which, obviously, is ridiculous. Time off isn’t based on who deserves it ‘more’—it’s a right.
Image credits: minkey8885 (not the actual photo)
Some people treat their child-free coworkers as second-class employees
As we’ve covered on Bored Panda before, the internet can be pretty hostile to child-free women at times because they’re seen as going ‘against the grain.’
“Our society expects women to get married early, immediately have children, and tend to their families’ needs primarily. I also think that some people may question their own decision to start a family,” influencer Dominique Baker shared her thoughts on the topic with us during an earlier interview.
They may be resentful of that decision when they realize that they had to make a lot of personal and financial sacrifices to do so… and then see a child-free person being ok not making those sorts of sacrifices. This could make a resentful parent jealous and angry.”
Obviously, nobody likes their boss playing favorites (unless it’s them who’s being treated like royalty). But it’s unavoidable to a certain extent. All of us tend to prefer spending time with some of our colleagues over others. And that can lead to small unconscious biases.
These biases can look like anything, from whom you save the last donut in the office kitchen for, to whom you prioritize when assigning more interesting projects. It’s best to be aware that these biases exist and to strive for neutrality as much as possible. However, if you start playing favorites, you’ll breed tons of resentful gossip and anger, and motivation is likely to drop in your team. After all, why should your team do more than the bare minimum when you don’t reward them in line with their efforts?
Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)
Clear communication and healthy boundaries can help prevent resentment from building up at work
Though resentment can build up in the office at times, the situation doesn’t have to devolve into outright bickering. Workplace expert Lynn Taylor told Bored Panda earlier that more communication is a good antidote for tension.
“Oftentimes, issues escalate when there’s not enough open communication,” she said. “It behooves you as the employee to determine the most effective way to interface with your boss. For example, if you’re texting back-and-forth on a sensitive issue, try your best to sit down in a relaxed neutral environment and talk, face-to-face. Make sure you’re communicating on a regular basis so small issues don’t become exaggerated.”
According to the expert, a good skill to have is to see the big picture while dealing with petty arguments. A dash of lighthearted humor can also ease tensions.
“Having strong emotional intelligence is the key to any conflict, but being a good listener, trying to understand the boss’s approach, and using diplomacy are critical. When your boss (or any human), sees there’s ‘something in it for them,’ only then will you effect change,” she shared.
“If you’re a doormat for every boss’s whim, you’ll build resentment, and in the long run conflict will ensue. Managers often respect when employees can say diplomatically that something is not working. As in life, if you don’t set boundaries with your boss, they will continue with negative behavior. The key is in the so-called packaging of what you say… diplomacy is paramount.”
Here's how some TikTok users reacted to the woman's viral video
However, some people weren't so principled and said that they would have considered being flexible
