In many ways, we are a reflection of our parents because they are the ones who mould us into the person we become. That’s why they are blamed when kids make mistakes or even act rogue. After all, most of the time, children enact what they are taught.
Just look at these three kids who wreaked havoc in every family event, as their mom just let them do whatever they wanted. However, her sister got so mad at her after they ruined her daughter’s birthday that she refused to get them Christmas presents! Here’s what happened next…
More info: Reddit
Some people just don't realize that their parenting style does more harm than good for their children
Image credits: seventyfour / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster's sister has three kids, and she uses gentle parenting as an excuse to let them do whatever they want
Image credits: KINOH1441728
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
They wreaked havoc at every family event, but the poster lost it after they almost ruined her daughter's birthday, while her sister just watched
Image credits: lookstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster was so angry at her sister's lack of effort to discipline her kids, that she refused to buy Christmas presents for her niblings
Image credits: KINOH1441728
Image credits: zinkevych / Freepik (not the actual photo)
This upset her sister so much that she accused the poster of being emotionally cruel to her kids and harming their psychological well-being
Image credits: KINOH1441728
However, the poster refused to budge, so her sister threatened not to attend any family events if she didn't apologize and buy presents for her kids
In today’s chaotic story, the original poster (OP) tells us about how she clashed with her family. The thing is, her sister has three kids, ages 8, 6, and 4, and they are an absolute menace. Apparently, their mom read a blog about “gentle parenting,” from which she derived that they can do whatever they want without boundaries or any rules.
Obviously, the three wreaked havoc at every family gathering, but their mother just shrugged it off as “kids being kids.” The poster found it quite obnoxious as they not only broke toys, but also ruined people’s property, while their mommy just watched. However, their utterly chaotic behavior at her daughter’s birthday party was the last straw for her.
OP told her mom that she would not be buying Christmas presents for them, as she felt it was a waste of money, considering they would break the toys within a day. Well, the mother immediately ratted her out to her sister. Obviously, the woman was furious; so much so that she accused the poster of being emotionally cruel to her kids and causing them psychological harm.
Moreover, she even started posting about it on social media, and the rest of the family also got involved. Some said that she should just give them something small for the sake of it, so the poster was feeling conflicted about her action. Her sister even threatened not to attend if OP didn’t apologize and get something for her kids, but our lady just couldn’t take it anymore.
Image credits: anatoliy_cherkas / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“When ‘gentle parenting’ is mistaken for ‘no rules ever,’ kids grow up without boundaries, and act on every impulse, hitting, breaking things, and ignoring limits, because no one taught them otherwise. Real gentle parenting uses empathy and structure, but without structure, the result is predictable chaos,” explained Eden Lobo, a counselor and psychology professor that Bored Panda interviewed.
Moreover, she stated that a lack of consequences can also lead to entitlement, poor problem-solving skills, and difficulty accepting responsibility. As adults, they may find relationships rocky and day-to-day life stressful because the world suddenly requires a structure they were never taught to navigate, she added.
We also conversed with our expert about the “emotional cruelty” that the sister mentioned in this story. Prof. Lobo explained that, psychologically speaking, choosing not to give gifts to certain children isn’t considered emotional cruelty in itself. "It requires a pattern of actions meant to shame, control, or hurt a child emotionally.”
“Also, it would only become mistreatment if someone intentionally withheld gifts to belittle or manipulate a child and make them feel unwanted. If the choice is about practicality or setting boundaries with the parent, it doesn’t meet that standard,” she concluded. Looks like the poster's sister needs to rethink what her therapist said.
Do you think that OP should go ahead with her decision for her niblings’ sake or give them something cheap to keep the family peace? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!