There is no excuse for adults to be abusive. Now imagine that a child’s parents get divorced, but they’re still forced to visit the person who frightens them with their unpredictable behavior.
Redditor u/Skvky recently went viral on the r/MaliciousCompliance online community after opening up about her teenage years. She shared how she finally worked up the courage to send her dad a creative but clear message that she did not want to live with him, even part-time. Read on for the full story.
We got in touch with the author of the story, u/Skvky, and she opened up about what happened a decade ago with her dad. She also shared some important advice for anyone who might find themselves in a situation like hers. Scroll down for Bored Panda's interview with the author.
It can be very frightening to live with someone who has a history of being abusive
Image credits: CHUTTERSNAP / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
One woman shared how she worked up the courage to fully move out of her dad's place
Image credits: Carolina / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Skvky
"I don’t recommend you do what I did. Your safety should be your main priority,"
Bored Panda was interested in finding out how the author had come up with the idea to move out while cleaning up her room. "I came up with the idea to move out after researching the laws in my state about visitation. I was scared that somehow I would get roped in to having to visit, or live with him," u/Skvky told us.
“I realized because of my age, I was not legally obligated to see him at all if I didn’t want to. He had threatened to throw all of my stuff away if I didn’t visit, so I figured this was my opportunity to take that option away,” she said.
According to the woman, she did feel scared of how her dad would react at the time. "But I was also fueled by anger. I had rarely stood up to my father growing up."
Fortunately, she had a few things as 'insurance' to help protect her. “He was on a few community boards, and I knew he wouldn’t run the risk of doing anything illegal. He was in the middle of a divorce in a very small town, and his ego and reputation meant everything to him. I was at a point where I was pushing boundaries, and because his abuse had always been so secretive, I kinda hoped he would do something,” she said.
However, the author explained that when it comes to situations similar to hers, safety is absolutely paramount. "If there is anyone else in my position, first of all, I’m so sorry, and please hold on. I don’t recommend you do what I did. Your safety should be your main priority," u/Skvky told Bored Panda.
“Make sure to research the laws in your state. If you need to gather things from your abuser’s home, bring help/witnesses. It has been 10 years since this event happened, and I’m lucky that I made it out ok, but I shouldn’t have put myself in danger like that. Just please stay safe."
Adults should be on the lookout for signs that a child may be emotionally abused
Nobody should be forced to stay with someone who has a history of mental, verbal, and physical abuse against their free will. Least of all a child.
It’s hard to say how they’ll react to a piece of upsetting news. For instance, when their kid works up the courage to let them know they’d rather continue living with their mom.
Luckily, everything worked fine for the author of the story, u/u/Skvky. She maliciously complied with her dad’s request to clean her room by cleaning out everything that she owned.
“I watched his face go from confused, to angry, to cold. It was SO satisfying. He looked at me and said ‘so I’m assuming you’re not coming back?’ I just smiled at him, and left,” she wrote.
A lot of readers were seriously impressed by the way that the teen handled the tense situation. Unfortunately, some internet users could relate to what happened. They revealed how they ran away from their abusers.
According to Verywell Mind, some of the types of emotional abuse that children experience include constantly being criticized, being blamed for adult problems, being rejected, and having their feelings dismissed.
Emotionally abusive parents also intentionally cause their children pain, ridicule or publicly humiliate them, talk down to them, get angry at them, and yell or swear at them. Abusers also try to threaten and intimidate their children, and they aren’t above using manipulation and gaslighting to get what they want.
What’s more, some of these abusers deliberately withhold their love, ignore them to change their behavior, and neglect their needs.
How the parents behave can tell a lot about their relationship with their children, too
It is absolutely vital that people reach out to the proper authorities if they witness children in their social circle, school, or neighborhood constantly being abused.
However, spotting the potential signs of abuse is easier said than done. One indication that a child might be experiencing abuse is that there’s a sudden change in their behavior.
For example, their academic performance drops, they’re suddenly nervous to be around people, they become withdrawn, or they suddenly appear to have little-to-no adult supervision.
Other behavior changes include very early or late departure from school and a reluctance to go home, as well as emotional distress and increased aggression.
It’s not just the child’s behavior you should be aware of, however. Adults should also look at how the child’s parents act.
Some instant red flags include the parents rarely showing affection for their child or avoiding touching them, outright stating that they don’t like their kid, and describing them as a burden.
Other signs to look out for include a lack of concern for the child, having unrealistic demands (e.g., in sports or at school), criticizing them in public, denying any problems at home, and demanding that teachers harshly discipline the kid if they misbehave.
The author of the viral story shared some important additional details
Some readers shared their reactions while others revealed that they've faced similar situations in the past
