Walter Winchell, a famous American radio host and columnist of the mid-20th century, once said: "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." And indeed, true friendship is revealed precisely in difficult and challenging situations. By the way, ironically, only one person actually came to Winchell's funeral - his own daughter...
But our story today, from the user u/Key_Classroom_22, is a classic example of when one friend is always ready to come to other people's aid, but it turns out that these other people are in fact far from always ready to do the same for them. However, let's take everything in order and simply read on.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has a friend who is getting married soon, and she expected to be invited to be her MOH or at least a bridesmaid
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, the bride-to-be skipped her over for a bridesmaid spot, claiming that was mostly because of the author's upcoming surgery appointed to the same time
Image credits: Key_Classroom_22
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Meanwhile, the bride-to-be keeps asking the author to help her with various wedding prep instead of all the bridesmaids
Image credits: Key_Classroom_22
The author feels bitter and is actually in two minds over agreeing or not to help her further
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she has a friend who is soon getting married, and our heroine, not without reason, expected that she would be made, if not the maid of honor, then at least a bridesmaid. She had been counting on and hoping for this joyful experience because, as she herself admits, she no longer has any close friends who are getting married.
But then the day came when the bride-to-be announced who her bridesmaids would be - and our heroine was not among them! The friend explained rather confusingly that the thing was that the OP was planning a surgery on about the same days, so she was afraid that this would prevent her from performing her duties at the ceremony in the courthouse.
Moreover, the original poster was not even given a +1 - she was just an ordinary guest! At the same time, the friend continued to ask her for various services in the process of preparing for the wedding, for example, to come to her dress fitting or buying her courthouse dress. At the same time, as the bride-to-be herself said, neither MOH nor the bridesmaids had an opportunity to show up there.
The author agreed and showed up both times - but she was bitter and offended each time. And now the woman is seriously considering the option of simply refusing the next time her friend asks. What's more, she might not even show up at the wedding, the OP ponders. However, the author is still worried that such behavior will look petty on her part - and she decided to ask the netizens for advice.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
"It seems to me that these two women simply put different meanings into the very concept of 'friendship,'" says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment about this case. "While the bride, apparently, expects her friends to help her with her own things, her friend is simply a kind and sympathetic person, always ready to help."
"On the other hand, it is precisely these human qualities that some people often take advantage of - and sometimes openly overuse their responsiveness. So here, by and large, only the author should decide - if she wants to help her friend, and likes to help - then let her help, without taking any offense at her choice of bridesmaids."
"If she thinks that the bride's decision is a direct insult to her, let her politely refuse help. Or, on the contrary, she can talk directly to the bride-to-be, explaining how her decision was offensive. If their friendship is real, such a conversation will definitely not hurt it. If it's not real - then what is the point of such a friendship at all?" Irina ponders.
People's opinions in the comments were also divided. Most responders believed that the OP's friend is simply taking advantage of her, and urged our heroine to refuse any help in wedding preparations, directly or under some plausible pretext. Some people, pitying the author, still praised her for being a kind and noble person. And which point of view do you, our dear readers, lean more towards?
People in the comments mostly supported the author and praised her for being a kind person - so much so that the friend has been taking advantage of her
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
