Working moms are superheroes, aren't they? After all, they basically work two jobs - the paid one and the "children" one. Keeping up the balance between them usually is quite tough. It doesn't help when others make things even more difficult, even if unintentionally.
For instance, when a working mom drives her coworker home, this colleague seems to be ignorant of the fact that every minute is sensitive for her driver. So, it leads to the woman being frustrated and wondering how she can get out of doing this good deed for her colleague.
More info: Mumsnet
Sometimes people can do something relatively small that annoys us a great deal
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Several days a week, a woman drives her colleague home, since they both live nearby, but this coworker constantly takes overly long to get ready to leave
Image credits: gpointstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Supermummy88
This annoys the woman, as she spends time waiting for the colleague instead of spending it with her kids
About a year ago, the OP started her new job. In it, she has a colleague who lives in her area, so she drives her home 3 or 4 times a week. The driving itself isn’t a problem – she goes past her home on her way to her own.
The problem is that this coworker seemingly can’t get ready quickly. She always takes time to gather her stuff, talks to colleagues, and so on. This way, their leaving gets delayed by around 15-20 minutes.
It should be noted that the original poster is a mother. So, while 15-20 minutes doesn’t seem like a long time, it is when you’re rushing home to your kids. After all, being a mother is basically a full-time job. It has a bunch of responsibilities and takes up a lot of time.
So, the OP wants to go home as soon as possible to work on these responsibilities. For example, to get them ready for activities. While in the post she likely was referring to activities like school and such, it’s also possible that she meant extracurricular ones.
It’s beneficial for children to be involved in them. Whether it’s joining a club, practicing music or sports, or being involved in a competitive team – any of them have benefits.
For example, it helps children to stay both physically and mentally active, thus improving their overall health. Physical activity lowers the risk for depression, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, obesity, and so on, in addition to improving things like sleep. Mental activity also can lower the risk of depression and other mental illnesses like anxiety. It also improves levels of life satisfaction and a sense of belonging.
Besides all the health benefits, extracurricular activities also help children to develop positive habits. Like persistence, routine, and time-management skills. So it's no wonder that the mom wants them to attend whatever they've got scheduled in a timely manner.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Speaking of time management, according to the OP, that’s what her coworker lacks. As she said, 20 minutes might not seem like such a long time, but it’s important to her as a mother. In fact, there’s a whole phenomenon called “working mom guilt.” It’s when moms feel guilty that their work doesn’t let them spend enough time with their children. This can lead her to self-doubt, being overly worried, and even having low self-esteem.
Some moms come up with things to reduce their guilt. Like the 9-minute theory, which states that there are certain minutes that are most important for kids to spend with their mom. These include the minutes after they wake up, after they get back from school, and before bed. Others say that it doesn’t have to be these exact times – all that matters is that there’s at least some time spent together. Of course, for it to count it should be spent being present and intentional.
So, it’s no wonder why the original poster is so annoyed by her coworker delaying her – she’s literally robbing her of time. You know, as the saying goes, time flies when children are growing up.
Plus, as the author pointed out in the comments, she kind of misses silent rides by herself, which adds another layer of annoyance.
People on Mumsnet advised the woman to set clear boundaries. For instance, they said she should one day leave without waiting for the colleague. Perhaps the woman is using the OP’s kindness and doesn’t listen when she says they need to leave, so maybe this action she’ll understand.
The problem is that the original poster has trouble saying no to people. Still, after the encouragement online, she decided she’d stand up to her chronically late coworker.
That’s where the story leaves us. Since there are no new updates, we aren’t sure whether the woman really stood up to her coworker. Let’s hope she did and now is just too busy to write an update as she’s spending precious minutes with her children.
After she complained about it online, people rushed in with suggestions, and later the mom shared in the comments that they inspired her to take action
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Most of these suggestions were that she should simply not wait for the coworker and leave, creating a boundary this way
