40 Compliments That Left A Lasting Impact On The People Who Received Them

“Research shows that compliments tend to increase the well-being of both the people who give them and the people who receive them,” Dr. Marilyn Fitzpatrick told Bored Panda in a recent interview, emphasizing that compliments can have a positive effect on everyone involved.

It might come as no surprise for those who’ve ever received a compliment; many would likely agree that it’s usually followed by a flood of positive emotions. (Even though some studies suggest that close to 70% of people associate compliments with feelings of embarrassment or even discomfort.)

Discussing the possible reasons why some people struggle to accept compliments, Dr. Fitzpatrick suggested that it might be because they don’t coincide with people’s beliefs about themselves. “If I do not feel like I am worthwhile in some way and you tell me that I am, I am now in a situation of cognitive dissonance,” she explained.

“When we believe that the world has not been good to us, we tend to be more reluctant to be generous with others, including generous in giving compliments,” Dr. Fitzpatrick continued. “So, if you want to get the benefits that come to you when you offer compliments, you might work to notice how good the world is to you.

“Keeping a gratitude journal would be one strategy for noticing how the world is good to you; it is a strategy that is reliably associated with better well-being,” the expert added.

Dr. Fitzpatrick also pointed out that research suggests that we tend to underestimate the positive impact of our compliments, “which may be one reason that people give fewer compliments even if they want to give them,” she said, pointing out that our beliefs about complimenting play a role, too.

If you believe in the positive power of compliments, consider this a gentle reminder to compliment others—as well as yourself—when you feel like that’s what you want to do. Chances are, they’re at a point where they need to hear it the most, and it costs nothing to be nice.