Human relationships are harsh. Especially when you're dealing with people who constantly mistreat you for no proper reason. When it happens repeatedly, it's natural that some feelings of vengeance start to build up. And it's even more satisfying when you're able to come up with a revenge plan that is similar to what they did to you...
Today we're looking at a story of a man who was constantly canceled on by his date on very short notice. And so you know, after getting tired of this, he came up with a kind of ironic plan for his revenge.
More info: Reddit
How do you deal with a person who keeps canceling your meetings? You cancel another meeting yourself
Image credits: Roger Harris (not the actual photo)
The man dated a woman who constantly kept cancelling on him, which let him understand that they weren't going to be the end game
Image credits: Jarritos Mexican Soda (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Derna_A_River
Before fully parting his ways with this woman, he decided to cancel on her on short notice, like she used to do to him
The OP went out with this woman twice before he invited her to a Christmas concert. She agreed, but around 5 days before the concert, she stopped answering him. She only appeared on the morning of the concert confirming she would come to the concert.
But then, she ghosted the post’s author by not showing up to the concert. She excused herself saying she was too tired to go. Interestingly, later that evening, the OP noticed she posted an Instagram story that she was at a popular hangout spot.
Well, the man decided to look past it and planned another hangout with the woman 2 weekends later, which was another concert. And the same thing happened: she agreed to go, but disappeared until the concert, confirming on the morning of the concert day that she would go. This time, she canceled the date 20 minutes before the concert. The OP went to the event with a neighbor just to not go alone.
This time, the OP didn’t invite her to another concert. Instead, some time after her second ghosting, he met her in one of their hangout spots and she promised to text him if she’d be around. He wrote to her and she stopped answering him again… And then 1 hour later, the post’s author saw her with another guy.
So, when another concert came around, the woman, wanting to go, texted the man knowing he gets free tickets to certain events. That’s when he came up with a plan for all those times she'd kept him on ice or ghosted him.
They decided to go together. But then, right before she was about to head to the stadium for the concert, he canceled on her. Basically, she got a taste of her own medicine and it was bitter. That prompted the man to come on Reddit to ask if he went too far with his retaliation.
Image credits: Dan Senior (not the actual photo)
And according to most people online, he didn’t. In fact, quite a few didn’t fail to mention the fact that the measures the OP took to take revenge were very appropriate. Others said that he could have gone even a little bit further, for example, taking another person along and posting a picture with them or canceling even later, like 30 minutes before the concert or so.
At the same time, some others argued that this was just a petty thing to do and he should have taken a higher road. They said it was kind of stupid to let the situation get to that point.
Bored Panda reached out to relationship coach, counseling practitioner, and emotional intelligence coach Rukayya Zirapur for a broader understanding of the tendency that some people have to cancel on others.
Based on Rukayya’s work experience and observations, about 90% of individuals who avoid meeting other people (just like the woman from the Reddit story) do that due to reasons such as past relationship trauma, trust issues, abandonment fears, and insecurities.
When it comes to dodging meetings for events such as concerts, these trust issues can be especially important: “People may consistently dodge invitations if they haven't established trust in the relationship. Additionally, social insecurities, such as low self-esteem or body image concerns, can contribute to avoiding social outings.”
According to Rukayya, if a person consistently dodges all invitations or cancels the plans, it can have quite a negative effect on the relationship. It can lead to conflicts, as the person who keeps getting canceled on might struggle with understanding the reasons behind the avoidance. And that creates tension in communication and the dynamic between the individuals.
Rukayya advises that in cases where a person feels uncomfortable meeting someone, a healthy decision would be expressing insecurities and reasons for that: “This helps foster understanding and communication without resorting to consistent avoidance.”
There are many various ways to communicate reasons and your feelings when you cancel a meeting with a person. For example, Wikihow provides several ways to answer a message from a date canceling on you. Here are some of them:
- “Thanks for letting me know.”
- “It’s OK. It happens!”
- “I hope we can go out another time.”
- “Aw, I’m disappointed, but I understand!”
- “This keeps happening. What’s going on?”
- “I’m sorry, I don’t think this is going to work out.”
They also suggest that you can simply write back nothing. Just ghost. Especially if you feel that your safety might be in danger if you answer.
For more ideas, you can also check out other lists, which suggest some ideas on how to respond to being canceled. You can also find ideas not only on how to respond to cancellation, but how to politely cancel a date as well!
So, next time you find yourself in a situation where someone cancels on you, maybe first try incorporating some of these tips. And if the other person keeps canceling on you and you come up with a similar plan to the OP, well, we won’t judge you.
Most people online were sure the man didn't do anything wrong, and some even suggested he could've done even more
Image credits: Olena Kamenetska (not the actual photo)
