Food,FailsNOV 9, 2023

30 Times People Were Disgusted Or Horrified By Something Done In The Kitchen, As Shared Online

108

We all love (with fairly rare exceptions) to eat, and not just eat, but eat some really tasty food. That is why cooks have almost always been perceived as incredibly important people in human history, and skilled chefs - as real wizards. And you must admit that a good cook, performing sacred acts at the stove, has the quality of a probable Hogwarts professor!

At the same time, there are a huge number of people who can rightfully be called 'culinary muggles', who have either not mastered the great art of prepping delicious food at all, or only by a fraction of a percent. And often such people become sources of true kitchen disasters - the kind to which this viral thread in the AskReddit community is dedicated, a selection of the best stories from which Bored Panda brings to your attention today.

More info: Reddit

#1

30 Times People Were Disgusted Or Horrified By Something Done In The Kitchen, As Shared Online

My super drunk roommate came out of his bedroom while I was heating up some food at midnight. He opened the fridge door and then pulled his pants down and started p**ing and then I screamed. He woke up from his daze and ran to the bathroom. I am an amazing roommate and friend so I cleaned up his mess. I asked him about it the next day and he said he didn't want to talk about it, but he's not going to drink for a long time. He venmo'd me $100 for cleaning and he's been sober for the last 6 months.

anon, Stevan Sheets

Report

150points

#2

I read a story years ago in 'Reader's Digest' about a young wife who wanted to observe every step of how her mom prepared Thanksgiving dinner so that she could do it the following year. The next year, the young wife prepared Thanksgiving with her mom nearby her.

Everything went fine, but the mom had one question: 'Why did you place your dish-drying rack over the turkey as it thawed in the sink???' and the daughter explained: 'Because that's how you thawed your turkey,' and the mom replied: 'Yes, but you don't have a cat!'

smile_saurus, Nickolas Titkov

Report

127points

#3

My sister made guacamole but used broccoli.

It was beyond terrible.

MyFrampton, V

Report

118points

Horace Slughorn, the Potions professor from the Harry Potter books, liked to say that the ability to brew potions is an innate talent, and no amount of books or training will make you equal to a true genius. Well, when we read some of the stories collected in this list, we only see how right the wise old professor was. And from a culinary point of view, too. If you are not destined to become an outstanding cook, no amount of effort will probably help.

#4

I once had a roommate take a sponge from the kitchen, clean the bathroom with it, then put it back in the kitchen sink. When I asked him why he put the sponge back in the kitchen, he said because that's where he'd found it. I wanted to burn down the entire house. And it's a good thing I noticed at all. Edit: there was a hair in the sponge.

figsfigsfigsfigsfigs, Marco Verch Professional Photographer

Report

99points

#5

i once walked into the back of a french bistro on a slow night and one cook was swinging a trussed, raw cornish hen around his head and the other cook was fending him off with each of his arms fully sheathed in a large baguette. i laughed so hard i cried, that night.

somethingweirder, Jeremy Keith

Report

95points

#6

God bless my Mom, and her mac and cheese. Layers of elbow macaroni, slices of american cheese, a few tablespoons of flour, and a splash of milk. Repeat. She would stick it in the oven for 45 mins, and I would bite into ... gobs of flour. I swore for years I hated mac and cheese, until I realized, it wasn't supposed to have gobs of flour...

MYOB3, Jeff

Report

89points

“Modern cooking, if we do not take into account the most exquisite examples of 'haute cuisine,' is moving towards simplification, standardization and optimization of dishes,” Roman Sardarian, a chef from Odessa, Ukraine, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here, sincerely believes. “By optimization, I mean a certain set of standard actions and ingredients, with the help of which you can quite simply and quickly prepare a truly tasty and even outstanding meal. Even if you have never studied culinary skills.”

“On the other hand, any cook can have, let’s say, a bad day when everything gets out of hand, the oil burns, water spills in the wrong places and at the wrong time, and at the most inopportune moment you forget to remove the frying pan from the heat. This is life. But someone can, through their own carelessness or neglect, time after time become the source of disasters in the kitchen, and this also happens. Well, modern civilization with its fast food and food delivery industry really makes life a lot easier - it's true," Roman is petty much sure.

#7

I had a roommate who would deep fry eggs

I walked into the kitchen and there was a quart pot of oil with a cracked egg undulating in it.

I later asked her about it. Because it was weird and also because maybe I didn't know?

No. She thought you fried an egg like you fried a piece of chicken.

authorized_sausage, rob_rob2001

Report

85points

#8

It can't be the worst thing I've seen, but after browning ground meat, my mother would have us rinse it off in a colander under running water, to get rid of grease. RIP our plumbing and dinner.

Squidproquo1130, Amy Ross

Report

80points

#9

A girl in my uni dorm almost burned the place down because she tried to boil a potato (her words) - what she actually do was put a large, unwashed and unpeeled whole potato in a dry pot, put the lid on it, put it on high on the stove top, then left to go watch movies in her room while it cooked. She was bloody lucky that me and a mate were in the adjacent common room. We caught the smoke and whipped it off the heat, she was completely dumbfounded that she’d done something wrong. The potato was half raw and half charcoal 💀

aizukiwi

Report

79points

Well, I myself have an old friend - an excellent person, smart and brilliantly educated, an excellent conversationalist and employee - but he never even knew how to heat a frozen pizza in the oven. Sandwiches and chocolate bars were a real salvation for him at one time - and in recent years he has been calmly ordering food at home, and feels quite great. At least the kitchen for him has ceased to be something that causes instant panic...

#10

My friends former roommate, bless his heart, was not culinarily inclined. Put the jar of pasta sauce in with the boiling water and noodles.

BreadUntoast, rovingI

Report

78points

#11

My nephew tried to use plastic shopping bags as oven mitts.

SopaDeKaiba, Eric Lane Barnes

Report

68points

#12

When I was in high school, my mom and I were absolutely famished leaving a late-evening rehearsal for our community band. We called my dad and older sister to make dinner since it was about a 30 minute drive home, there were no drive-throughs on the way and our house was too far out in the boonies to get anything delivered. “Sure, no problem, we’ll have it waiting for you when you get home!” they said…

They had decided to make a boxed creamy pasta, but realized after the noodles were already cooked that the milk had gone bad. So they replaced it…with **french vanilla coffee creamer**. For some reason, they thought it was OK because the creamer was sugar free. It was not OK. We each had about one bite and threw the rest of our plates in the garbage. I think we ended up having canned soup for dinner that night 😂

Yggdrasil-, Rooey202

Report

67points

And yet, it’s probably worth envying the incredible tenacity of some people who, time after time, despite all the culinary failures, still pick up a chef’s knife, heat up the stove... and thereby give rise to more and more new stories in collections similar to this one. And there are actually lots of similar tales. So now please feel free to scroll this list to the end, and if you have ever faced or witnessed something similar, just share your own tale in the comments as well. And let it be as instructive as it is funny.

#13

I’ll fess up. This one was me. I had been working loong days and was very tired. I got up and poured a bowl of cereal. Then I poured some milk into my glass and some orange juice over the cereal. I didn’t have any money so I sucked it up and ate it.

A_Fartful_Dodger, Rosmarie Voegtl

Report

66points

#14

When I was a kid, one of my friend’s moms made a sardine lasagna. It was a traumatic experience.

Monalisa9298, annulla

Report

66points

#15

During my freshman year, my room mate put a frozen pizza in the oven with the plastic on. She thought it was like a popcorn bag and the pizza will steam.

NewMar00, Alan Levine

Report

63points

#16

Guy grabs 2 pound container of ground turkey, takes the wrapping off and puts it on the hot grill.

There were no additional steps taken.

Full-Sympathy-3404, Emma Forsberg

Report

62points

#17

My ex Sister In Law made Curry Chicken with Sweet Coconut Cream for BEVERAGES. not the canned stuff

I couldnt stand her. She always told me, "I have expensive tastes"

One year for xmas I got her and her hubby a 2 cup $27 bottle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil and $15 bottle of Balsamic from Williams Sonoma.

About 2 yrs later we were sitting in my house chatting and she nonchalantly mentions, "oh someone got us Olive Oil one year and it was RANCID so we threw it out! Dumb ***** had never had really good olive oil and her expensive tastes didnt know what it tasted like. Im so glad I never have to see her again

Preesi, 1Day Review

Report

58points

#18

When I was 18, I started working at a restaurant. One night during closing duties, I dumped some water into the empty broaster so I could scrub it. Except I forgot to close the drain valve, and the water went straight into the bucket of hot oil that was still sitting underneath it! The following chaos of an oil/ water volcano preceded to cover the ENTIRE kitchen. It took about 3 hours to mop everything up.

Rare-Lettuce8044, John Lodder

Report

58points

#19

My grandpa’s wife served us tacos with UNSEASONED ground beef that she rinsed in cold water before serving. Flavorless hell, she didn’t want the extra calories of grease or spices

SayNoToColeslaw, stu_spivack

Report

57points

#20

I saw a video on Reddit or Pinterest of a woman washing her chicken in a sink with Bleach and a couple drops of Dawn dish soap. She said her Mother and Grandmother both cleaned their chicken this way.

Defan3, Gabrielle Gatchalian

Report

53points

108