One sign of a mature individual is that they do the housework as needed instead of constantly having someone remind them to get off the couch. It’s a great thing to teach your children these habits so that they grow into confident and capable adults. Some people still categorize chores into ‘manly’ and ‘girly’ ones, by gender, even though objectively everything’s just a task that needs to be done. Good parents know that their kids need to know how to complete a very wide range of tasks, regardless of what they are, to succeed in life.
A dad turned to the AITA online community for advice regarding a bit of tension at home. He explained how he’d been teaching his 11-year-old daughter how to be more independent, including how to do ‘guy’ chores like mowing the lawn. However, the man’s wife got upset about this. Read on for the full story, as well as to see how various internet users reacted to the squabble over parenting.
Any kid hoping to become an independent adult should learn how to mow the lawn, wash the dishes, cook, and generally know how to look after themselves
Image credits: Ave Calvar (not the actual photo)
One anonymous dad shared how his wife got upset that he taught their daughter how to do so-called 'guy' chores
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle (not the actual photo)
Image source: Key_Effective_2260
When you're a grown-up, you need to know how to pick up after yourself, whether you're living alone or with others
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
When you grow up and start living on your own, there’s no room for gender-based categorizations for your housework. They’re all ‘your’ chores.
You need to do the grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, tidying up after yourself, taking the trash out, paying your bills, filling your car up with gas, mowing the lawn if you have one (lucky you!), doing small repairs, and a bunch of other things. Nobody else will do them for you.
Of course, the dynamic changes if you have roommates, move in with your partner, or start a family.
When there are more people living at home, you need to come up with some rules or guidelines for how you’ll be splitting the housework in a fair way. You need to divide up the chores. If they’re the sole domain of just one or two people, they’ll resent it.
The sad reality is that even in this day and age, women take on more responsibilities at home than men. Though a perfectly equal split of housework is impossible given that different families have very different circumstances and dynamics, it’s utterly important that you’re all on the same page.
Image credits: Faruk Tokluoğlu (not the actual photo)
You all need to be genuinely fine with any systems for splitting the chores that you have in place. If you’re not, if you’re exhausted and unappreciated, you need to speak up and your partner needs to take the time to hear you out.
Active listening is a godsend that’s useful in all of your relationships. Then, once you’ve figured out what the problem is (probably someone doing more than their fair share of chores), you need to reach some sort of compromise.
That means splitting the housework in a way that works for you. For example, someone might take on a few more responsibilities if they work from home or have more flexibility with their schedule.
Or the primary breadwinner, who usually works long hours, pitches in more with the housework regardless of being tired, to show their appreciation for their partner and that they’re still a team.
Essentially, you have to do what actually works for you, not what your friends or the internet say is best.
Parents should have high expectations for their kids while also being as supportive and transparent as they can be
Image credits: Mesut çiçen (not the actual photo)
There are various different parenting styles, philosophies, and techniques. Parenting is one of those things where it feels like everyone has an opinion about how things should work. But broadly speaking, authoritative parenting, one of four main parenting styles, proposes the best balance between setting high demands for your kids while also being very responsive as a parent.
In short, authoritative parents value transparency and support very much. They set out very clear rules for their children (including about chores and other responsibilities), but they’re also very open, communicative, and warm. Kids raised this way tend to grow into very independent, confident, well-adjusted, and socially competent adults.
On the flip side, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved parents miss the mark. For instance, authoritarians have very strict rules at home, but they don’t communicate as openly, so their kids tend to be anxious and generally lack initiative.
On the other side of the scale, permissive parents set very few rules and indulge their kids far too much, leading to issues with impulsiveness and boundaries. Meanwhile, uninvolved parents are, well, uninvolved in their children’s lives, whether due to time constraints or serious personal issues.
So, a good rule of thumb is to get your children involved in all the housework so they develop the right habits later on in life and avoid being overly entitled. Give them simpler tasks like tidying up their toys when they’re smaller, moving on to more complex chores over the years.
Try to be very clear about everyone’s responsibilities and take the time to explain why it’s important for them to pitch in. Not just to help the entire family but also to build a sense of responsibility and resilience.
What’s your take on kids helping with the housework, dear Pandas? Do you see chores as things that need to be done regardless, or do you classify them as ‘guy’ or ‘girl’ chores? When would you start teaching your children to help out at home? Let us know in the comments!
The dad later clarified a few things in the comments of his post
Most internet users were on the man's side. They thought he had the right approach to parenting
A few internet users had a slightly different take than the rest of the online crowd
