Couple Built A Loving Family Together While Allowing Each Other Space To Grieve Their Late Spouses

"Eventually, you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is," Gary Zukav once said, and this couple from Utah just confirms it.

Kirsten and Jason found each other by navigating through a deep grief journey: both lost their late spouses due to cancer.

More info: Kirsten Clawson

In 2018, Jason's life was shaken up because his wife, Valerie, was diagnosed with stage 4 Colon Cancer.

"I was terrified for myself and my small family of four. This was devastating news that completely rocked our world. The doctor in the hospital looked at me and said, 'Jason, cancer has a way of enhancing your life'," Jason recalled the memories.

Despite all their efforts and a fierce fight, Valerie passed away in 2019 -- almost at the same time as Kirsten's husband, Cody, who lost his battle to Acute Myeloid Leukemia.

"This sweet man, my eternal companion, took his final breath in this life while I held his hand and stroked his face and uttered, for the billionth time, how much I love him. In his final moments, he couldn’t speak much and constantly slept. At one moment while I watched him and expressed my pain through a good cry, he briefly opened his eyes, looked right at me and uttered the words 'be calm'. So, I will strive to take his advice through the pain and sorrow ahead of me. And I will look forward each and every day to the time that we can be reunited," Kirsten wrote at the time on her Facebook account right after the loss.

Both Kirsten and Jason went through a very heavy and difficult journey of grief.

"Life began to get more and more difficult as life continued after the passing of my wife. I found myself more and more depressed, [isolated], lonely, anxious, and [I was] even struggling to sleep. Life quickly became overwhelming, and I was fearful of the future because I felt like I was going to do this all alone, and this was a terrifying thought," Jason shared.

"As a clinical therapist, no one taught me about these moments that I was currently experiencing. No one prepared me on how to deal with or cope with my emotions and what I was currently dealing with. I knew I could help others going through challenging times in their life, but I could not help myself at this time," he added.

Yet, life took an unexpected turn for both when, one day, they found each other on Facebook in a special group created for young widows in their area.

"When I saw his profile, I knew exactly who he was, so I felt very comfortable moving forward with communicating with him. It was absolute magic the first time we spoke (and every day since)," Kirsten recalled the memories.

The couple got married in 2022. Kirsten became a stepmom to two of Jason's sons, and a few months later, their family unexpectedly welcomed a daughter.

Kirsten and Jason not only share unconditional love and sincere care but also a deep understanding of their past.

"We recognize the loss. We don't ignore it or pretend it didn't happen. We don't get jealous of each other's grief or love for their late spouse," said Kirsten. "We ask each other what [the other] need[s], especially around difficult anniversaries, and then, we provide it," she added.

The couple visit both graves as a family, celebrate their birthdays, and acknowledge the anniversaries of their lost ones.

"We allow each other those moments," the woman explained. "Recently, I was having a really tough time because we were returning to Houston, which is where my husband died, and Jason sat in the grief with me. He encouraged me to acknowledge it, and feel it, and cry on his shoulder," she added.

While many people might think that it would be easier for Jason to deal with grief since he is a professional therapist with over 16 years of experience specializing in trauma, grief, addiction, and mental health, it's actually not true.

"Many people think that because Jason is a therapist, grief was easier for him, which is absolutely not the case. He struggled like anyone else," Kirsten shared.

The couple not only found a way to help each other heal, but they also constantly try to bring hope and light to everyone around them who is experiencing the pain of loss.

Since Kirsten's previous spouse, Cody, was a teacher, the family came up with an idea to raise money on his birthday to buy and donate shoes to students and families in need at various schools and shelters.

"Cody was a teacher and soccer coach, and he loved shoes, so it's a special way we honor him," Kirsten explained.

After Valerie's loss, Jason and his sons created 'sunshine baskets' -- full of cheerful yellow items for people who had lost a spouse or were dealing with cancer. It all started as a local gesture of kindness yet very fast spread beyond their hometown in Vineyard, Utah, and it is now reaching people across the entire country.

"Our Boxes provide therapeutic tools that help others heal and become happier during challenging times of their life. The opposite of grief, loss, addiction, and depression is 'connection', and we want to help others connect with their own 'healing team' through these Sunshine Boxes," Jason explained.

"Today, I have found joy and happiness again. I recently got married again to my sweetheart named Kirsten. It has been a joy and blessing to have her in my life, and [she] continues to enhance our lives today. I [now] get the chance and opportunity to help change lives by offering Sunshine Boxes to those in need after the loss of a loved one, cancer diagnosis, or others with mental health issues. I love what I do and love to truly help others heal," he added.

The couple recently launched their Light After Grief project, which is dedicated to helping others in grief know that they're not alone.

"We're very open about our experiences because we really want to give others hope in the darkest time of their lives," said Kirsten. "Grief can be so isolating and lonely, we want others to know that we've been there, we understand, and yet joy can still be found in life," she added.

Jason and Kirsten found the courage and strength to be vulnerable and to share their painful experiences with each other, which allowed them to create a loving bond for a lifetime.

And the most beautiful part of this remarkable healing journey is probably that it extended to helping others find love and light.