Romantic relationships are often one of the most complex and simultaneously exciting things in our lives. Unfortunately, they can also be a real headache too.
Today’s story revolves around a young couple's relationship, and how the controlling girlfriend's ultimatum led the couple to break up.
More Info: Reddit
A man approached Reddit's r/AITA community to see if he was being the jerk for refusing to marry his GF as they were only 3 months deep in the relationship
Image credits: Tan Danh / pexels (not the actual photo)
Even though the couple had been together for just 3 months, they'd already had serious disagreements
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
Even after their disagreements, the man claimed that he likes his girlfriend a lot, although he had reached out to Reddit for perspective more than once
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Their first conflict was about alcohol, as the woman didn't want the boyfriend to have whiskey, even though he has no alcohol-related issues, and he was puzzled by that
Image credits: u/ballsackbarber
The second time they disagreed, the woman left him, as she was pushing the boyfriend to get married within the last 9 months and he rejected her, saying he needed more time
Recently a man approached Reddit’s r/AITA community to see if he was being a jerk for refusing to marry his 22YO girlfriend. The OP (Original Poster) is a 21-year-old college student, and the couple began their relationship just 3 months ago.
Interestingly, the OP has an older post asking netizens' perspectives on his GF just a few days ago as well, although on an unrelated topic. It was about the woman’s tendency to control him, specifically not allowing him to have whiskey, even though he never had any issues with alcohol.
Anyways, the woman just shortly later had another display of being quite erratic after she demanded that he marry her in 9 months. The OP explained to her that since he’s still in education, he would need to write a prenup and questioned if it would be enough time for him to decide if she was the right woman for him to spend the rest of his life with.
After the OP told the woman this, she said “Don’t waste my time” and left him. She wasn’t pregnant or anything of the sort, but according to her, the now ex-boyfriend didn’t trust her if he wasn’t willing to marry her so soon. Totally reasonable, right?
Given the woman’s tendency to control the man’s behavior in two different instances, it might be quite an educated guess to say that he probably dodged a bullet. The couple still were in their “honeymoon” phase of the relationship, and they'd already had serious disagreements. But where does the need to take control of relationships stem from?
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / freepik (not the actual photo)
According to Psychology Today, the impulse to control originates from anxiety and the fear of losing your close ones. In their world, control means stability - if they can predict and set their partner’s behavior, it means that they will know the outcome.
The reality is different though. A person who’s being controlled in their relationship can start feeling a lack of trust and respect. Over time, this can be a major deal breaker for many, and today’s story is just a radical example of this. ‘Control freaks’ can come in more sophisticated and insidious ways, too.
For example, narcissistic people tend to manipulate and control others to warp reality and bend the relationship in the direction they want. There are many signs to look for if you suspect that you may have a narcissist in your immediate social world. Some of these include throwing tantrums, lying, projecting (such as calling you a liar, when it’s the opposite), and more.
It wouldn’t be correct to claim that all people who tend to control others are narcissists; however, there is an overlap. It’s a stretch to say that the woman in today’s story is a narcissist, given the limited context we have, but the tendency to control is evident.
Later, the OP came back with an update, stating that the now ex-girlfriend said she hates him, and that he was being a jerk for hurting her. The man recognized that she was trying to "guilt trip" him, and their saga ended.
What do you think about today’s story? Have you ever encountered a ‘control freak’ yourself? Let us know in the comments below.
Netizens deem the woman crazy, saying that the man wasn't the jerk here at all
