Reddit user Jayjaykmm was happy to attend their friend's 30th birthday party. The woman clearly cared about it and invested a whole lot of effort (and money) into making it an enjoyable experience for all. However, one couple got a little carried away.
In the middle of the night, they got engaged and completely stole the show. But in a post on the subreddit 'Petty Revenge', Jayjaykmm explained that they couldn't just let it slide. So they decided to teach the "tacky" couple a lesson.
A couple got engaged at a woman's 30th birthday party
Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)
So her friend decided to confiscate the thunder they had stolen
Image credits: Okrasyuk (not the actual photo)
Image credits: jayjaykmm
The want to be noticed, taken seriously, and loved is in our nature but it sounds like these two went too far
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
While we can't know for certain what were the exact reasons behind this couple's stunt, for adults, attention-seeking behavior can be both a conscious and unconscious attempt to gain validation or admiration.
Examples of this behavior include:
- Posting excessively on social media, seeming to vie for as many likes and comments as possible;
- Making comments—both online and in-person—that seem calculated to make people feel uncomfortable or cross social boundaries;
- Bragging constantly about material wealth, physical appearances, and personal successes;
- Seeming to act as though everything that happens to you is a catastrophe, even when it is not;
- Engaging in provocative, promiscuous, or exhibitionistic behavior;
- Making frequent self-deprecating comments in an effort to be validated;
- Having what might be described as a "dramatic" personality.
Dealing with attention-hungry people can be difficult
Image credits: Mental Health America (MHA) (not the actual photo)
According to Andrea F. Polard, Psy.D., who is trained in self-psychology, system-oriented therapy, cognitive-behavioral psychology, and mind-body work, there are five effective strategies to deal with a compulsive attention-seeker:
Remove the positive reinforcement for attention-seeking behavior. "As hard as it may be, do not engage when drama is initiated," Polard said. "Try to stay emotionally neutral and pay attention to your own mind so that you won’t become triggered. If you find yourself getting angry, remove yourself from the situation, doubt that anger is what you want to be, and return to a kinder equilibrium. If possible, remove the platform for attention-seeking behavior, such as the phone."
Teach how to calm the mind. The psychologist thinks that it can be very beneficial to consult with a therapist who uses mindfulness training as well as anger management and/or read about inner tranquility. "Explain to the attention-seeking person before they get angry that you will give him or her attention only when the anger is under control," Polar suggested.
Normalize attention-seeking behavior while role-modeling appropriate behavior. "Do not shame him or her. Show the attention-seeker how to advocate for him or herself without going overboard," the psychologist said.
Go deeper. "If needed, ask for psychotherapeutic help as the attention-seeker needs to understand his or her motives," Polard said. 'Pose questions like these: "Instead of trying to get validation from others, what could you do or feel?' 'How do people get a sense of self-worth?' 'How can we find peace within ourselves?' 'What does attention mean for you: becoming alive, feeling worthy, feeling important?' Help develop an intellectual interest in the drama, which creates a distance to the immediate experience of it."
Help the attention-seeker connect with and develop his or her strengths to pursue a higher goal. "Often the attention-seeker yearns only to be popular, famous, or admired," Polard said. "Help him or her apply the identified strengths for a higher goal. Find out what could be fulfilling other than longing for the spotlight."
People thought the original poster (OP) handled the situation beautifully
