Family should stick together. So when Reddit user ShyGirlTurnedSassy and her boyfriend went to his parents’ anniversary celebration, the guy’s old folks hoped it could also become an opportunity for him to reconnect with his cousin.
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And at first, he agreed to play nice and keep things civil. But as soon as he mentioned an upcoming vacation to Australia, she reminded him exactly why he had cut contact with her in the first place. Some people never learn.
There’s entitlement and then there’s entitlement
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And one woman managed to take it to a level that left even her own family stunned
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Image credits: Anil Sharma / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: shygirlturnedsassy
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The weekend getaway might have been offered out of guilt
Of course, the guy’s true motives for offering the trip are unknown to us, but an educated guess would point towards remorse.
Writer Fern Schumer Chapman, who was estranged from her brother for over 40 years, wrote in her book Brothers, Sisters, Strangers that when siblings cut ties, they’re left in “a world of secrecy and shame,” even if they’ve made the right decision for themselves.
Yes, in this case, we’re talking about cousins, and yes, the feelings that come with this decision will vary from person to person, but Liz Kelly, therapist and author of This Book Is Cheaper Than Therapy: A No-Nonsense Guide to Improving Your Mental Health, says: “It is very common for people who cut ties with family members to experience guilt.”
“They may have received societal, cultural or religious messages to put family over everything,” the therapist adds.
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How many people are estranged from their family members?
Estrangement is relatively common nowadays. In the United States, for example, a recent YouGov poll found that 38% of adults are currently estranged from a family member.
It can start as a one-way or a two-way street. Americans who are estranged from a sibling, for example, are about as likely to say they are the person who cut off contact (26%) as they are to say that their sibling did (29%); 19% say the decision was mutual, 5% say someone else cut off the relationship, and 18% say they just grew apart.
But people who are estranged from a parent are about twice as likely to say they were the one to cut off the relationship than to say their parent did (38% vs. 20%). The reverse is true for parents who are estranged from a child: 13% say they ended the relationship, and 46% say their child did.
Family members become estranged for a variety of reasons, but the most common ones are personal conflicts, lies or betrayal, manipulative behavior, conflict with other family members, and conflicting values or lifestyle.
As her story went viral, the woman answered some of people’s biggest questions
