Woman Wants To Know If She Was A Bridezilla For Scolding Cousin For Going Off To Visit Her Husband's Grave And Being Late For Bachelorette Dinner

Arriving late for appointments regularly shows that you don’t respect the person you're meeting enough to care about their time and may show irresponsibility and poor time management skills. It’s a different story if it happens rarely and if there’s a good reason for it.

Although this woman wasn’t very forgiving when her cousin was late for her bachelorette dinner while they were on a trip to New York, despite knowing that she used the opportunity of being in the city to visit her husband’s grave.

More info: Reddit

The Original Poster (OP) went on a bachelorette trip to New York and was paying for everything except for the flight and hotel. They were there just for a couple of days but had a busy schedule. On the last day, the women went out for an early dinner, but OP’s cousin Hayley was planning on joining them later.

Hayley lost her husband 5 years ago and he was buried in New York as that is where he was from. We can only assume that the woman doesn’t visit New York too often, because she decided to use that time to go to the cemetery.

Because of that, she was almost an hour late for the dinner and the bride-to-be was not happy about Hayley running off taking care of her own business when it was supposed to be a trip they spent together.

This reaction hurt Hayley’s feelings and she was not in a good mood that day or the day after. The friend group is divided on whether scolding Hayley for being late was right or wrong, but Reddit was more unanimous and deemed the OP a jerk, especially after finding out why the cousin went to the cemetery as at first she didn’t mention who the grave belonged to. They suspected that the bride-to-be omitted the information because she already knew she overreacted.

Various religions and cultures have different traditions of visiting graves but they probably all do it for the same reason. William Spear, who is the Hansen-Spear Funeral Home Director, says that “Visiting the grave of a loved one honors the memory of that person. It is a way of showing that this life had significance on Earth that is not forgotten.”

It might mean different things for different people. William Spear says that some might look at it as a spiritual process. Them being on hallowed ground gives them comfort and it’s a place to contemplate and pray. Others simply come to visit the person as it’s where they are physically. Or they view it as a way to complete unfinished business.

Going to a loved one’s grave is also a part of grieving. Funeral Basics explains that it helps you grieve because “Knowing that you are where they are, or you are in a place special to them, brings a sense of connectedness and closeness that may be less achievable in other places.”

It also usually is a calm and peaceful place so you can stay with your thoughts and process your emotions as well as talk with your loved one. Visiting a grave on special days for that person may become a tradition and people usually find comfort in the fact that the person’s memory is still kept alive.

You can’t put a time frame on these kinds of visits and Hayley was probably already emotional as she was in the cemetery alone with her thoughts and memories so when she was met with an upset bride, she probably felt misunderstood.

Do you think visiting one's husband’s grave is an acceptable reason to be late? Do you think it would have been possible for her to manage her time better and both visit the cemetery and be on time for dinner? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.