You can quickly tell whether a person respects you or not when you finally ask for a favor after helping them out for ages. How they respond when the roles are reversed speaks volumes! Unfortunately, you might realize that someone you thought you got along with pretty well actually doesn’t care about you all that much. But that’s the harsh reality that you need to learn to face.
Redditor u/ChannelGreat2791 turned to the AITA online community for a verdict after explaining why they started demanding money from their coworker. Up until recently, the OP had been happy to give their colleague a free car ride to work—for a jaw-dropping 14 months! But they saw her true colors after the redditor’s car had to be taken to the mechanic’s and they needed a ride themselves. Read on for the full story and how the internet reacted to everything. Bored Panda got in touch with the author of the viral post, u/ChannelGreat2791, and they were kind enough to share their thoughts on the situation. You'll find our full interview with the redditor below.
One good turn deserves another. Unfortunately, the reality is that far from everyone is willing to return favors
Image credits: RossHelen (not the actual photo)
One person went viral after sharing their story about how they've been driving their coworker for free for 14 months
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: why kei (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ChannelGreat2791
"I think if she just apologized, I'd probably turn around and give her rides again"
We were curious to get redditor u/ChannelGreat2791's thoughts on why their story got so much attention on the site. "I guess because most people believe in karma, and so they hate the idea of someone you routinely help just turning their back on you," they told Bored Panda.
Meanwhile, we were interested to hear whether there have been any other developments with the OP and their colleague. "She and I haven't spoken, and thankfully we do not work directly together so there's no tension," they revealed.
"A coworker relayed to me that she doesn't think her boyfriend is in the wrong. Beyond that, I've just made it clear that I'd rather let the issue go because no one needs drama at their work."
According to the OP, their first reaction upon learning that they'd have to pay for a lift after months and months of free lifts was standing there "thinking it must be a joke, like no one would act like that."
"But once it sank in, I just said 'ok' and went about my business. I've never met him [the boyfriend], nor do I care to."
As the redditor noted in their post, their main concern was that they might have been petty to 'punish' their colleague for her boyfriend's actions.
"But the way I see it, they're a household and mutually benefited from me. Honestly, I think if she just apologized, I'd probably turn around and give her rides again because I don't like holding grudges, but maybe that'd just make me a sucker, I don't know."
Image credits: westend61 (not the actual photo)
The coworker didn't show her gratitude for the months and months of free lifts in any way
The long and short of it is that redditor u/ChannelGreat2791 found themselves in a very unfair position. After giving their coworker over a year’s worth of free car rides, never asking for a single cent, they needed a spot of help for a couple of days.
However, the OP’s coworker’s boyfriend wouldn’t drive them for free. “He wanted $20 for the two days,” the redditor writes in their post on the AITA subreddit which got over 12.6k upvotes. In their mind, the rides should have been free, considering all the favors the OP had done for the couple.
“This dude directly benefits from me thanks to his girlfriend not needing a car of her own or spending a dime in travel, and my coworker should have defended me,” u/ChannelGreat2791 explains. It was then that they decided to reciprocate and start charging for the rides as well.
The OP’s story resonated with a lot of people, and the vast majority thought that they weren’t the jerk in this case. As one platform user pointed out, the coworker could have easily covered the $20 her boyfriend wanted herself… or she could have pointed out that she’d been getting driven to work for over a year now.
Someone acting selfishly shouldn't deter you from being kind to others
The unfortunate reality is that far from everyone will reciprocate kindness with kindness. Some folks are happy to take advantage of others.
However, that shouldn’t deter you from being kind. Ideally, you should give freely and openly, without expecting to get anything in return. However, you shouldn’t be naive, either. If you realize that someone’s using your goodness without helping you or anyone else out in turn, it might be best to spread your altruism elsewhere.
As we’ve written on Bored Panda before, acts of kindness and helping others are what bind society together. When we do nice things for other people, it activates the reward center in our brains, so it generally feels like we got a gift when we’re giving one to someone else. It really does feel great when we’re behaving altruistically.
However, kindness doesn’t come automatically for some people. Though that’s not a huge problem. Altruism is a learned skill. Someone who wants to be kinder and nicer to others can start off by doing small good deeds every single day. That way, it’ll eventually turn into a habit. And it doesn’t have to be anything major at first either. You could give your colleague a compliment, smile more, help out with a small task, or… give them a car ride when their own vehicle’s in the shop.
Image credits: alvarogonzalez (not the actual photo)
Lending coworkers large sums of money should be avoided, unless you know for a fact someone's trustworthy
Money is a sensitive topic at the best of times. And it’s best not to mix money-related matters at work—or at least to be extra careful to whom you lend your hard-earned cash, even if you’re working with them and think that you know them. Attorney Wusu Dumbuya, writing on LinkedIn, notes that you shouldn’t feel afraid to ask your colleague why they need you to lend them the money in the first place.
“If he’s truly in need, he won’t have an issue discussing the situation. Plus, this is your opportunity to assess the urgency of the request. It’s one thing to lend a coworker $20 for gas and it’s a completely different thing if he wants to borrow cash for entertainment or recreation,” Dumbuya explains.
It’s also imperative that you don’t give extended loans. Keep things simple and ask for your colleague to repay what you lent them the next payday. And don’t forget to keep a paper trail: get the promise in writing. That way you’ll avoid any he-said-she-said situations in the future.
Dumbuya points out that no matter what happens, you shouldn’t get management involved because it’s unprofessional. The loan and promise to repay it are between you and your colleague, and your supervisor has nothing to do with it.
Meanwhile, keep in mind what your coworker’s reputation is like in the workplace and elsewhere. That’ll help you gauge how trustworthy they are, whether they keep their promises, and how they behave around money. And it goes without saying—don’t lend anyone anything that you couldn’t afford to lose. It feels nice to help others out, but you should not be putting your and your loved ones’ financial stability in jeopardy in order to seem like a saint at work.
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Here's what the internet had to say about the spot of drama. Many folks were on the post author's side
