We all love to count money, especially when there's a lot of it. It's best, of course, in this case, to count your own money, but when there are problems with this, other people's will also come of interest. In many ways, this is why people like to read the rankings of the richest people, discuss the new contract of Jaylen Brown or Justin Herbert... counting money has an attractive power, doesn't it?
But there are times when it's better to stop with all these salary talks. For example, when you discuss the income of your direct interlocutor or one of their relatives. Especially when the interlocutor is clearly trying to change the subject of the conversation. And that's exactly what our story today is about, first told by the user u/islaisla321 on the AITA Reddit community.
The author of the post and her husband both make big money, so they're a well-off couple
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
The woman says she's used to various nosy people attempting to snoop out how much they both earn
Image credits: islaisla32
However, recently a new coworker joined the company, a 25 Y.O. woman who has proven herself chatty, catty and gossipy
Image credits: Henry & Co. (not the actual photo)
Image credits: islaisla32
At the recent company gathering, this woman approached our heroine trying to find out how much her spouse makes in every possible way
Image credits: Ahsanjaya (not the actual photo)
Image credits: islaisla32
The author got fed up with it so she ended with a straightforward demand for her colleague not to be a nosy jerk
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she and her husband have been together for a long time, since college, and since then her spouse's career trajectory has been like a vertical straight line. Now the guy is 33 Y.O., and he, working in the field of finance, makes about ten times more than his wife (and the author of the post, frankly, does not complain about her salary at all). In other words, the couple is quite well-off, and wealth always attracts various nosy people.
The author of the post admits that over the years she has learned to develop a calm attitude towards such conversations, almost perfectly mastered the skills to laugh it off and not take unceremonious questions about how much she and her husband earn as something personal. But recently, even all of OP's skills turned out to be completely useless...
A new colleague of the author, a woman of about 25 Y.O., has been working in the company for a relatively short time, however, according to her, she has already managed to acquire a dubious reputation. "Very chatty, catty, gossipy, you get the gist," the original poster says bluntly. It got to the point that the woman literally asked her colleagues which of the men in the office earn more, and whether they're single. Who said 'gold digger?' Ignore it, it probably just seemed like it.
It just so happened that the OP and her husband recently returned from a trip to Europe, and during their office's afternoon happy hour, a colleague approached her and was interested in photos from the trip. The author of the post willingly showed the pics, and gradually the conversation turned to money. Of course, the curious employee tried to sniff out how much the OP's husband was making. Word for word - and our heroine realized that no usual tricks, no hints, no jokes would work on her interlocutor. Nothing. No, not exactly. N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
So the conversation only ended after the OP told the colleague to stop being a nosy... well, let's say 'witch.' After that, other employees told the woman that the coworker complained to them in tears about the OP's rudeness, clearly expecting an apology. Some of the author's relatives thought she overreacted, but the original poster doesn't think so. Tellingly, the husband is in full solidarity with his wife, except that he suggested that she give formal fake apologies - just for the sake of office politics. Therefore, our heroine is wondering - what should she do now?
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)
"It's a pretty complicated situation, I think," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment on this case. "On the one hand, the heroine of this story faced a clear manifestation of importunity and manipulative attempts to tick her off. On the other hand, in the end, the manipulator succeeded - because she eventually achieved the desired reaction."
"Why do I think that this particular reaction was desirable? After all, if we evaluate the behavior of the young colleague according to the heroine's own description, then literally from the first day in a new place she began to weave some kind of intrigue. And, in the end, it seems to me that this woman was interested not so much in the final amount of money that the colleague's husband makes, but in her reaction to such an interest. And now she can easily play the role of an innocently offended victim in front of the whole office. Endurance is the best means of behavior in such a situation," Irina summarizes.
The opinions of the commenters under the original post were also divided. Some people fully support the original poster, accusing her colleague of gold-digging and supposing that she clearly has her eye on the author's husband, so our heroine needs to be on the lookout. "Report her to HR. She kind of low key tried to get to know his salary so she can hang on him and be his girlfriend." This is an average opinion of several commenters at once, and the OP, I must say, agrees with them.
On the other hand, some folks in the comments note that both parties to the conflict are wrong. One of them - because she was overly intrusive here. Another one - because regardless, under no circumstances is it inappropriate to proceed to direct insults of colleagues. "Yes, she was being rude and unprofessional. Your response was also rude and unprofessional," one commenter wrote. In any case, the original poster admits that she plans to apologize to her coworker the next day - even if it's purely formal.
God damn, Game of Thrones ended way back in 2019, but many offices are still a kind of Westeros, with all the intrigue and undercover games. Except without dragons... It's worth at least reading the story from this post of ours, of a newly minted manager attempting to get rid of an objectionable employee without having read his contract, thus greatly upsetting the company's "master of the coin". And if you've also experienced or witnessed something similar at work, please feel free to tell your own tales in the comments below.
People in the comments split their voices between supporting the author and noting that insulting coworkers isn't appropriate anyway
