Usually, people trust their friends enough to expect not to be betrayed. They especially don't expect to be betrayed in the way that friend knows will hurt them the most.
Today's author was so trustful once, too. She vouched for her friend to get a job at the prestigious hotel where she worked, and she succeeded. But soon, the friend started having a relationship with a married coworker who had a baby at home. And she did so despite knowing how hurt her friend was when her father's infidelity ruined her family when she was a child.
More info: Reddit
How should one react when the friend you vouched for betrays you in a nasty way?
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
A woman vouched for her friend to get a job at a prestigious hotel where she worked, and she succeeded
Image credits: Helena Lopes (not the actual photo)
The friend seamlessly blended into the company, and soon, the woman noticed that she and the chief receptionist, who is a married father, were being a little too friendly
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
After the friend revealed she didn't care that he had a wife and a child, the friendship between the women ended
Image credits: u/athenaisof
One day, the chief receptionist's wife visited the workplace with her baby, and the woman lost it when she saw him cuddling the child while wearing his mistress' scrunchy on his wrist
Today’s OP works as a receptionist at a prestigious hotel. Some time ago, a position opened up, and she suggested her best friend, dubbed Jane in the story.
Referring a friend to a job isn’t such a rare thing. In fact, many companies offer referral programs where employees can recommend a person they know might be good for the role. If the person is hired, usually, the worker who put in that recommendation gets some kind of bonus.
Some say that referral programs can be both good and bad for the partaking employees' careers. It all comes down to the person they endorse. If that person is hired and they blend seamlessly with the company, their reputation within the workplace might slightly increase. Yet, if the recommended and hired person turns out not to be a great fit, the worker’s reputation might take a hit.
Well, today’s original poster surely regretted recommending her friend for the job. And it’s not because she wasn’t a great fit for the company -- she blended right in. It was because she started an affair with the chief receptionist, named John. He is not only at least 10 years older than her but also married, and he quite recently had a baby with his wife.
To talk about workplace affairs Bored Panda got in touch with Dr. Catherine Connelly from McMaster University. Many understand what a bad idea it is to have an affair with a coworker. As Dr. Connelly pointed out, a workplace romance can affect team morale, especially if the couple’s behavior is affecting their professional relationships with their colleagues.
It’s even worse when one party is in a higher position than the other. Dr. Connelly said that typically these type of relationships are prohibited by employee handbook. So, in some cases, breaching these rules, can result in legal issues.
Not to mention unhealthy power dynamics territory. After all, building a relationship on a dynamic where people aren’t equal usually doesn’t lead to anything good. And if the affair ends awfully, the one in the lower-level job position might even lose a job over it.
Also, some people who decide to have workplace affairs sometimes already have partners or even family, which makes this bad situation even worse. This way, they not only risk their (and their lover's) careers but also their home life.
Image credits: W O L F Λ R T (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, the OP’s friend’s affair basically checked all these marks – a coworker from a higher position who is also married. No wonder the author felt repulsed. Also, the fact that, back in the day, her parents got divorced because of her father’s infidelity didn’t help the outlook either.
Ultimately, parents’ infidelity does not only hurt their spouse but their children as well. They might feel betrayed, and, in the long run, it can turn into major problems like trust issues, behavioral issues, academic struggles, and many more problems. So, experiencing it all herself, the woman knew how deeply her friend’s affair could harm the kid involved.
So, she confronted the friend, and it was revealed that she didn't really care that John is a married father. He justified the affair by saying that the wife didn't really care about the marriage after the birth. This explanation didn’t please the author, and she continued to feel disgusted.
This resulted in a fight between the women that cut off their friendship. And since then, John has been making the OP’s work life miserable by giving her the worst shifts.
One day, when she was working at the same time as the couple, John’s wife came to the workplace with a baby. Her visible fatigue broke the woman’s heart. And then, she noticed that while he was cuddling his baby, the man was wearing his mistress' scrunchy on his wrist.
This made the original poster have a panic attack. Since day one, she had been contemplating telling the wife the truth, yet she didn’t have any rock-solid evidence despite trying to get it. So, not knowing how to deal with this sickening situation, the woman turned to Reddit.
People there basically declared that doing nothing in this situation isn’t the answer. Some suggested she confront John himself, while others said to go collect as much evidence as possible and tell the wife.
Many suggested she go over his head to higher management and maybe even try to get him fired. Or find another job herself, just to leave all the toxicity behind and have the security of a paycheck if she decides to cause waves for the couple.
Dr. Connelly said that when an employee becomes aware of an affair, they should always consider reporting it to HR if it affecting their own performance: "For example, if they need to work longer hours or do more tasks because the affair partners are too distracted to work, then this needs to be made clear, so that it can be managed. On the other hand, if someone else’s affair isn’t really affecting them, then they should focus on their own work."
Well, maybe there isn't one answer on what the woman should do. Yet, their passionate ideas on what she could do might have inspired her. No matter what she ended up (or will end up) doing, the fact that all of it happened because she trusted a friend surely feels like a knife in the back.
The woman came to Reddit to ask for advice on what she should do, and people came up with many ideas of whom she could report this affair to
