While there are a lot of variables in the machine we call work, there are certain conditions that might lead us to feel like a workplace and everyone involved in it is a family of sorts; if anything, they can be friends.
But, again, there are a lot of variables, and the same work we’re talking about can become very toxic very quickly, and at the end of the day, we need to remember that a workplace is ‘just business’—it’s not inherently a friend, nor a family, and not there for us.
And there is actually a reminder about this hovering about the internet in video form, which has recently been going viral.
More Info: TikTok
While, at face value, calling your team family sounds great, it does have personally devastating implications in the long run
Image credits: delyannethemoneycoach
Meet Delyanne Barros, a money coach and a CNN podcast host who has recently gone to her TikTok with a friendly neighborhood reminder about what work, in its essence, really is—it’s a business relationship between the business and you, the employee. Nothing more.
In her now viral video, she explains that coworkers are not anyone’s family at the workplace. The boss as a company figure is not anyone’s friend. And the company is not a community or a tribe.
The concepts of family, friend, community and tribe are all based on mutual understanding, love, care, and everything in between that pertains to humans maintaining healthy social ties with each other.
A money coach has recently come out with a short, but spot-on video pointing out that coworkers are not family
Image credits: delyannethemoneycoach
A business, on the other hand, is an entity focused on generating wealth. And while a community or a tribe can be focused on that too, a business is void of the emotional and social connections that develop within social constructs like communities.
Delyanne elaborated that she has worked as an employment attorney for 14 years and she witnessed how very loyal employees are treated like trash at the workplace when push comes to shove. So, where’s the community, the love, and the caring now?
Her immediate recommendation is to start investing your money so that you have what she calls an FU (or ef you) fund ready as an exit strategy for “when this happens”. Not if, but when.
You can check out the full video below
Delyanne also followed up with a response to a commenter, who's an HR, agreeing with the idea that colleagues are not friends
Image credits: @delyannethemoneycoach
Image credits: @delyannethemoneycoach
Several days later, she came out with another video, which was in response to one of the commenters on the ‘coworkers are not your family’ video, focusing a little bit more on what the HR’s function is in a given company.
In short, the HR is a company representative whose main task is to limit the liability of the business. They are not obligated, nor will they really fight for you like a union would, so it’s best to assume the “have everything in writing” approach whenever agreeing to something with HR.
But back to the main video. Folks in the comment section had a lot to say about it, with one side cheering the idea on, saying that work “is literally a business transaction” and that it’s a healthy thing to have one's work life and personal life run parallel, never intersecting.
But there were also those who disagreed, saying that not all jobs are the same (remember the variables we started off with?) and there exist workplaces that are oriented towards fostering social relations.
Needless to say, this sparked a bit of a debate among commenters, with most agreeing, but some arguing that companies can be family
Image credits: Blondinrikard Fröberg
Whatever the case may be, the video was soon off the ground and in the ether of virality, having racked up over 2.8 million views and 281,300 likes in under a few days.
And while Delyanne’s words can be discussed and debated, a Harvard Business Review article took a deep dive into the toxic side of calling a company or a team a family, supporting Delyanne’s claim.
What seems like a concept that ought to bring comfort and a sense of bonding among people in a team more often than not leads to blurred lines between the personal and the professional, and instills an overly exaggerated sense of loyalty that harms the individual first.
Moreover, it provides the employer a certain power dynamic where they can start to abuse their workers, taking advantage of the emotional bond they have seemingly developed with the business. And this is all to improve efficiency and morale, when the right thing to do is to stay truthful, have verbatim goals, set clear boundaries, and keep things professional, without losing touch with the fact that you’re working with real live human beings.
You can check out Delyanne’s video here, or if you want more information, feel free to peruse her entire TikTok channel as well as her website. But before you scurry off to read another one of our articles, why not share your thoughts on the matter—are you all for what Delyanne says, or would you argue against it? Let us know what you think in the comment section below!