Women Share 66 Crazy And Unhinged Lies Men Actually Told Them

Man, I hate a liar. Sure, we’ve probably all bent the truth on occasion—maybe to smooth things over, to dodge an awkward conversation, or to spare someone’s feelings—but as a gullible gal myself, lying just really rubs me the wrong way. There’s something about realizing you’ve been lied to that makes you question everything else you’ve been told, too. Was any of that actually true? What else were they hiding? And, perhaps worst of all, how long had I been happily believing it?

But the lies we’ve gathered here are something else entirely. They’re a whole lot more brazen than your standard “my phone died” or “she’s just a friend.” We’re talking some of the craziest lies men have told women—wildly implausible, completely shameless, and somehow delivered as though they were perfectly believable.

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My EX was known for insane outbursts so one day he was yelling at me and he threw a chair across the room. So I, completely calm, also threw a chair. He flipped out calling me psycho, etc. I told him that I only threw the chair to show him how ridiculous he is. He said “I DIDNT THROW A CHAIR!!!” Ok then so why are there 2 chairs across the room Never again will I tolerate that kind of nonsense.

"That was you baby, I swear.. you change your look constantly and they thought it was another chick"
After being caught by my sister in my car with another woman.

Had an ex tell me that they didn’t know they were talking to a [intimacy] FaceTime because he thought he was just watching a video.

My ex offered to clean my apt while i was away for the wkend (i didnt ask). i get back, everything is exactly the same, including the still-sealed pack of swiffer mop pads i left on the coffee table (important). mildly irritated, bc why offer, but i didnt mention it. he picked a fight w me abt smth else & was like “i cleaned ur whole apt i even MOPPED” he threw a tantrum insisting he mopped (the swiffer was the only “mop” i had) & then sobbed to me the next day abt how he doesnt know why he lied.

Baby daddy tried to get me to forgive over $20k in child support arrears so he could get a passport to work in Afghanistan. This m* worked for ADT. I laughed in his face. Anyway, he finally paid it off last year.

One time when I worked at a restaurant I watched a man [jerk] one of our servers. I went up to him and told him [what the heck] and I’ll call his wife and tell her if he doesn’t. He had the audacity to say “I THOUGHT SHE WAS A MANNEQUIN I HAD NO IDEA” like come on man.

Not sure if it was a lie or gaslighting, but I went on a date with a guy who lied about his height. He told me he was six feet tall, but I’m six feet tall and he was shorter than me. Then he tried to convince me that I’m actually taller than I think I am, so somehow I’m the liar, not him. He even went so far as to suggest that doctors and nurses have been lying to me about my height for almost my entire life. Like... ah, okay.

We were fighting. He was standing inside the house, and I was on the front porch. My glasses slipped off my face and landed in front of the open door. He closed the door, and it broke my glasses in half. I was like “you just broke my glasses!” and he said “no I didn’t” like we didn’t just watch the same thing happen.

This man literally told me he was in the hospital because he had colon cancer, which is why he hadn’t talked to me in a while. I had not even questioned what was up or asked him anything about it, by the way. He even told our mutual friend who was then crying about it all night. Then, a few weeks later he told me he was cured, I asked him how, he said they gave him a pill.

That the hickey on his neck was from the car wash vacuum hose; it slipped. He didn’t have a car.

That he had just booked a flight the morning of the trip (5am) and he didn’t get our babygirl a flight because he didn’t know if she could go. When we had established weeks prior that she could go and I also had texted to confirm that he was picking her up the night before.

He went AWOL for a night and was ignoring my calls. When he arrived home he told me that he'd lost his phone on the tube on the way home and that he had spent the night riding round london underground to try and find it. Then a miracle happened, a tube driver just so happened to have his phone and gave it back to him. He'd been with a girl.

One time an ex said he went to the hospital and the nurse stole his phone, took a picture of his privates and sent it to a 16 year old girl.

He told me he had to work late at a garage that closed at 5 pm sharp and he had to bring hygiene products, clean clothes and cologne to “clean up so he didn’t stain our car”. He had already destroyed both seats with motor oil. Suddenly it was a concern. Yeah. They lie badly because they’re so narcissistic they believe everyone else is as stupid as they are.

Sees pads and period b***d on the floor of his bathroom… that’s yours. I hadn’t been over in a month and that wasn’t my brand. I went home.

After I spoke to the girl he was cheating with (she was sad but stayed) he said they were both pranking me. Like I really couldn’t believe how stupid that lie was.

Mine used to say "I'm not going to lie to you" as a stalling tactic while he thought up a lie to tell me.

He’s who name I won’t say wrecked his 5.0 mustang then told me our son need braces at 8 & they were going to cost 25k in hopes that I would send him the money. I said have the office call me and I’ll come in or pay over the phone. He cussed me out.

I saw a picture of a [intimacy] his bed, so I told him, “I know that’s your bed and your bedsheets.” He really said, “I’m not the only one who has bedsheets like that.”

Told me he quit drinking while I was holding a Door Dash receipt with his name on it. Then said the receipt was wrong. Then got mad at me.

This man has to be up for work at 4 AM, and we typically FaceTime until 2 or 3 AM. I texted him at 9 pm on a Saturday. This man calls me back SUNDAY at 8 pm telling me he was asleep when I texted him the night before at a cabin with his uncles and cousins. While he's elaborating on the lie, I Googled the cabin and it was advertised as a romantic getaway. I just glared at him in disgust for a full minute and hung up.

One of my exes told me he had lung AND b***d cancer, and that he had about a year to live.
It was an attempt to get me to sleep with him. Something about “making the most of our time together”.

My ex pretended to want to have a baby with me for over a year, was always telling me I’d be such a great mom. We had a name picked out. We went to a fertility specialist and everything. Turns out he’d had a vasectomy and never told me.

He was working as a chef in SF when we lived in Napa and for MONTHS he told me he worked late into the evening on weekends so it was best if he slept at his boss’s house so he “didn’t fall asleep at the wheel.” I would call him and beg him to come home cause sleeping alone with a toddler and a newborn was giving me anxiety, and once he even pretended to start driving home and “turned around” cause he got too tired… found out later he was actually living with his 19 year old mistress instead.

i just saw a tiktok where this man said that the reason he cheated on his girl was bc he was secretly an FBI agent and he had to investigate her… she said “dude ur not an FBI agent ur schizophrenic”.

“You didn’t see me kissing your best friend. You were dreaming. Obviously it was a nightmare.”

He got injured playing football and the doctor prescribed him pain meds that made him sleep for 72 hours straight.

I had ended things with him because he was avoiding me. Two weeks later, he called at 4am to tell me he had been locked up for two weeks for beating up a man and he just been released. He let his hair and beard grow out to really sell it. He forgot my mom worked at the jail. He was never locked up.

He ended things with me on Tuesday and she moved in on Friday. A few months later he decided he owed me an explanation, so he told me he met her Thursday night and things just “clicked”.

This happened just this past week... So my coworker likes me. He thought it'd be a good idea to stalk my bf online, find his number, & text him from a fake number app, and lie that I'm cheating on him. I confronted him about it and he claimed it was NOT ILL INTENTIONED??? Then said he was drunk. Men are insane.

Let my son take the blame for something he did (my son was 9).

That he was just inviting her over to his hotel room at 11pm as friends. (She turned him down.)

Ex stole my computer and it was recovered from a p**n shop by police with his name and number on the p**n slip in his own handwriting. He said that yes, he pawned it but he didn’t steal it. Apparently, he saw a guy walking down the street with my computer by the car wash and knew it was mine bc it was green, so he paid the guy $20 for it, then pawned it. I said even if I was the dumbest woman in the world and believed that story, his version is still a betrayal.

Found a second phone under his bed, filled with hundreds of nudes of random girls, some including my best friend at the time, and he lied and said that his best friend sent him all of the pictures to hold onto because his girlfriend always went through his phone.

he shoved a $5 dove chocolate bar in his pocket (or pants??) then snuck it into my bag, thinking he'd carey my bag. But I carried my bag and found the chocolate when I got home. First he tried acting like he didn't know anything. Then he tried acting like it was a misunderstanding because he thought he put it away. Then he tried attacking my character for being "morally superior" about him stealing and lying.

When I came back from visiting my parents house for the weekend he said someone had left him a mysterious voicemail insinuating that I was cheating and shouldn’t be trusted. When I asked to hear the voicemail he said he erased it because he hated having it on his phone. When I think of this moment in my life it makes me roll my eyes so hard. Idiot.

Him: I wished I lived alone too (like me)
Me: who do you live with?
Him: I have a lodger

I found out too late that he actually had a wife.

when i found out that my ex was cheating and confronted him, he told me that the memory of cheating on me was so traumatizing and painful for him that he “forgot about it”.

For either 8 or 11 years (he told me both), my ex-husband was running up secret credit card debt. When I finally found out, it was up to $30,000. No, $40,000. No, $45,000.

I went to the pool with my bestie and her ex boyfriend called on the way home to let us know he walked the dogs (bragging he did it without having to be asked). Well bravo, you did the bare minimum dude. fast forward to when we arrive back to the house - she realizes all the dogs harnesses and leashes are in her car and there is no possible way he walked all three dogs at any point while we were gone.

Had his location. He told me he was going to pick up his medication and go home. Location went to the club & stayed at a random house over night. The next morning he FaceTimed me off his iPad & told me he got pulled over, arrested, and the cop is the one who had his phone & that’s why his location was moving.

Not the craziest but, there were times where my ex was showing me photos on his phone (I never went through his phone because I believe in personal space). Then I saw random images of women. When I asked who they were, he told me those were saved photos from reddit and he saved them because they had funny titles and wanted to use them as memes and he didn't realize it was only saving the photo and not the whole post. When I questioned why he didn't screenshot it, suddenly I was being dramatic.

My ex faked memory loss after a seizure to manipulate me into staying with him. He had his memory. He remembered all my mistakes before the seizure but not his… does that make any sense??? And I believed him. It look me a long time to process that this was all a lie.

That he was single.

He was married with a kid otw. He broke my heart into a million pieces.

After I left him he said, "I'm still gonna be part of the baby's life even though we're not together." Boy was that a lie. I dealt with it by being a single mom and getting no help. Not much else I could do in that situation.

My ex told me he cheated on me and got a bump on his j*** when he scratched it from playing with it. He told me the clinic gave him antibiotics for syphilis just in case.

That his mom had cancer back in London so he needed to be with her. Turns out he was actually with a secret wife and kids. No cancer at all.

I found a picture of another woman in my ex wallet and he told me she gave it to him at his job so he could give the picture to another dude at his job and said she had a man already but asked him to hand it to the dude at his job.

Some dude told me he got a tattoo lazered off and the tattoo that was supposedly “lazered off” was one of those temporary big ones from Amazon such a stupid lie.

Two guys were hitting on me and my friend at a GAY CLUB and said they were on a job working for the CIA terrorist taskforce undercover in Afghanistan. MY DUDE THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN SYRACUSE NY?!?! Also why are you in a gay club homie, we just want to dance and have a good time and NOT deal with the hetero men folk GO AWAAAAAY.

When I found out in March that he cheated the previous October, his reason was “because you expected me to do chores” when he moved in with me … in February. Every day of the relationship was full of lies, but that one was the wildest.

He told me he was at his cousin’s house playing video games and that we were going to the movies later that afternoon. When it was time to go to the movies, he never showed up. I contacted his cousin, and he told me that he had gone to a nearby city with another girl. I ended things as soon as he came back.

I hate when men lie because it's an insult to my intelligence. My ex would lie about everything from saying he brushed his teeth when he didn't.. his breath stank. To saying he never cheated on me.

My child's father tried to tell me he had NEVER heard of brushing teeth twice a day, when I asked him to make sure our young child was brushing at night. "Oh is that what we're doing now?" Sir, that's what we've been doing. We were married, and you brushed your teeth twice a day. He just wanted to make me feel unreasonable for expecting the bare minimum on his one night a week with his kid, I guess!

He told me he was the product of an affair his mom had, said that’s why his family treats him crazy (they don’t). I KNEW he was lying and told him so, but he carried it on for WEEKS, adding stuff to it as “evidence.” One day his parents, him, and I were all arguing. I started to feel ganged up on with no one acknowledging anything their son did. So I said “you wanna know what your son been going around saying about YOU?!”

Lied about his height... By nearly a foot. Like, my dude, if you're going to lie at least make it believable and not something easily disproven just by looking at you. Like if he had claimed 5'7"-5'8" I might have let it slide but telling me you're 6'3" only to turn up and be my exact height of 5'5" smh bro must have been confused that I left my white cane at home since he thought I was blind AND stupid.

That the dollar store mascara wrapper I found in his truck was “clearly” mine. Baby I get extensions I don’t use that.

He told me his ex fiancée just popped up on him at the Essence Festival cuz she was there kicking it with her friends….. when in fact, she was there for her bachelorette party… for their wedding. When I confronted him he said, the wedding was still off, she just went through with the party cuz she already had everything planned.

i only date women now, thank god, but here are a couple idiotic examples from losers in my unfortunate dating past: - the bra on his bedroom floor belongs to his friend's gf and it was only there because they had just visited (and he threw a temper tantrum and ripped it when i challenged his story)
- he's subscribing to his ex on OF bc he cares deeply about "supporting women"
- at least 20 dudes lying about exclusivity, this one always made them look stupid [very] bc they're all such obvious liars.

"I am not cheating on you. You are being paranoid. This relationship won't work if you can't trust me". Then 3 months later "I am in love with your friend." He tried to crawl back when they broke up but like LOL.. Boy bye.

Told me he slept with my cousin. Then told me he'd said it to "get a reaction".

He didn’t have any kids! Turned out he had 8 with 6 different women.

During one of our personal conversations he started talking about his daughters- He was permanently associate zoned. I couldn’t friend zone him because I could never trust a man that lies about his children.

When my (now ex) husband bought a lot of new Outfits, but two days later the bag with the new clothes was nowhere to be found he told me that someone broke into our apartment and only took this bag of clothes. Nothing else unsurprisingly, he was cheating.

My ex cheated on me with his ex wife. When I asked why he said he was getting revenge...on her???? Because she wanted to get back with him...and by him sleeping with her just to pull away again, he would hurt her feelings like he had planned??? He said this as I was sobbing in front of him after he got caught at a hotel with her and he came back home. He suuure showed her. It still aches at times and I'm still confused at the stupidity.

He said that she was just 'a friend of the family'.
Their married now.

He strung me along for years.
I'm married now as well, but yeah that hurt.

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