66 Lies Men Told Women That Made Absolutely No Sense

My EX was known for insane outbursts so one day he was yelling at me and he threw a chair across the room. So I, completely calm, also threw a chair. He flipped out calling me psycho, etc. I told him that I only threw the chair to show him how ridiculous he is. He said “I DIDNT THROW A CHAIR!!!” Ok then so why are there 2 chairs across the room Never again will I tolerate that kind of nonsense.

He told me he had to work late at a garage that closed at 5 pm sharp and he had to bring hygiene products, clean clothes and cologne to “clean up so he didn’t stain our car”. He had already destroyed both seats with motor oil. Suddenly it was a concern. Yeah. They lie badly because they’re so narcissistic they believe everyone else is as stupid as they are.

He went AWOL for a night and was ignoring my calls. When he arrived home he told me that he'd lost his phone on the tube on the way home and that he had spent the night riding round london underground to try and find it. Then a miracle happened, a tube driver just so happened to have his phone and gave it back to him. He'd been with a girl.

Not sure if it was a lie or gaslighting, but I went on a date with a guy who lied about his height. He told me he was six feet tall, but I’m six feet tall and he was shorter than me. Then he tried to convince me that I’m actually taller than I think I am, so somehow I’m the liar, not him. He even went so far as to suggest that doctors and nurses have been lying to me about my height for almost my entire life. Like... ah, okay.

One time an ex said he went to the hospital and the nurse stole his phone, took a picture of his privates and sent it to a 16 year old girl.

Mine used to say "I'm not going to lie to you" as a stalling tactic while he thought up a lie to tell me.

One time when I worked at a restaurant I watched a man grope one of our servers. I went up to him and told him gtfo and I’ll call his wife and tell her if he doesn’t. He had the audacity to say “I THOUGHT SHE WAS A MANNEQUIN I HAD NO IDEA” like come on man.

"That was you baby, I swear.. you change your look constantly and they thought it was another chick"
After being caught by my sister in my car with another woman.

He’s who name I won’t say wrecked his 5.0 mustang then told me our son need braces at 8 & they were going to cost 25k in hopes that I would send him the money. I said have the office call me and I’ll come in or pay over the phone. He cussed me out.

He was working as a chef in SF when we lived in Napa and for MONTHS he told me he worked late into the evening on weekends so it was best if he slept at his boss’s house so he “didn’t fall asleep at the wheel.” I would call him and beg him to come home cause sleeping alone with a toddler and a newborn was giving me anxiety, and once he even pretended to start driving home and “turned around” cause he got too tired… found out later he was actually living with his 19 year old mistress instead.

when i found out that my ex was cheating and confronted him, he told me that the memory of cheating on me was so traumatizing and painful for him that he “forgot about it”.

My ex offered to clean my apt while i was away for the wkend (i didnt ask). i get back, everything is exactly the same, including the still-sealed pack of swiffer mop pads i left on the coffee table (important). mildly irritated, bc why offer, but i didnt mention it. he picked a fight w me abt smth else & was like “i cleaned ur whole apt i even MOPPED” he threw a tantrum insisting he mopped (the swiffer was the only “mop” i had) & then sobbed to me the next day abt how he doesnt know why he lied.

This man literally told me he was in the hospital because he had colon cancer, which is why he hadn’t talked to me in a while. I had not even questioned what was up or asked him anything about it, by the way. He even told our mutual friend who was then crying about it all night. Then, a few weeks later he told me he was cured, I asked him how, he said they gave him a pill.

That the hickey on his neck was from the car wash vacuum hose; it slipped.

He didn’t have a car.

Sees pads and period blood on the floor of his bathroom… that’s yours. I hadn’t been over in a month and that wasn’t my brand. I went home.

Baby daddy tried to get me to forgive over $20k in child support arrears so he could get a passport to work in Afghanistan. This MF worked for ADT. I laughed in his face. Anyway, he finally paid it off last year.

This happened just this past week... So my coworker likes me. He thought it'd be a good idea to stalk my bf online, find his number, & text him from a fake number app, and lie that I'm cheating on him. I confronted him about it and he claimed it was NOT ILL INTENTIONED??? Then said he was drunk. Men are insane.

My ex pretended to want to have a baby with me for over a year, was always telling me I’d be such a great mom. We had a name picked out. We went to a fertility specialist and everything. Turns out he’d had a vasectomy and never told me.

Ex stole my computer and it was recovered from a pawn shop by police with his name and number on the pawn slip in his own handwriting. He said that yes, he pawned it but he didn’t steal it. Apparently, he saw a guy walking down the street with my computer by the car wash and knew it was mine bc it was green, so he paid the guy $20 for it, then pawned it. I said even if I was the dumbest woman in the world and believed that story, his version is still a betrayal.

When my ex cancelled plans on me last minute for like the third time. He said he had Covid. He sends me a photo and I download the photo and it was from A YEAR AGO. The granite in the background was from his friends house and I recognized it. He admitted it but bro was 30 lying about Covid.